picture i took before falling thru boulder world.

i'm feeling the soft breezes of approaching debacle, end of the world as we thought we knew it. identities, affiliations, professions, all slipping down steep slope. there is one meme floating around that goes something like this: the powers that be, whatever that means (nation states? trilateral commission?  walmart?) are letting this play out to reduce population. this thought gives whoever they think they are too much credit. although comforting in a perverse way to think there is soeme control somewhere, i don't feel that way. remember the invisible hand of the free market? if it exists it's drawing crazy patterns on your sheets.

took an easy hike off the parkway yesterday with richard and shamus. to get out of the heat. didn't quite get out of it. the flora or fauna or biomass seemed more thick but maybe it was the temperature. i lost my footing and took a terrible fall, boulders and branches. passed on ER when we got back and spent a very uncomfortable night. went to doc's today and no broken bones, one sort of nasty cut. my profound thanks to richard who kepy his head and got me back. shamus helped to (he's a dog). two or three days of rest are in order, but i have to get new insulin pump up and running. if it doesn't happen i''l do it later.

too hot. staying indoors. got insulin pump today. hope to be using it before long. it's too hot. i have a plan. i continue to find notebooks full of line drawings, word salads and such. they are going to go onto DVD as my friend jimbo is moving towards doing. end notes. way too hot.

Mystery glitch? Blame it on the sun - space - 23 June 2010 - New Scientist: "Although it would take a truly massive space storm to cause a catastrophe, it is becoming clear that even modest solar activity poses a threat in our technology-dependent world. It makes railway signals go haywire and rusts oil pipelines to the point that they may leak, not to mention wearing down key components in power grids, which could drive up the cost of electricity."

2 years ago friend minor was pointing this out. today, humans who tend to think "this" is "always" (includes most of us) are in for some big surprises.

backyard friend. i think he's got PTSD.

backyard sky 30 minutes ago.

nowdays i read books when i read them and not necessarily from beginning to end. stumbled across this paragraph yesterday:

"i'm not worried that antidepressants will turn us into mind-numbed, smiley-faced zombies. the drugs are not that effective, at least not yet. but i do think we need to pay attention to our feelings of demoralization. Pessimism can be an ally at a time of crisis, and i think we're living in one right now. regardless of whether or not the drugs work, to call pessimism the symptom of an illness and then turn our discontents over to the medical industry is to surrender the most important portion of our autonomy: the ability to look around and say, as Job might have said, 'this is outrageous. something must be done.'"

from manufacturing depression by gary greenberg

the march of civilization. a week or so up around craggy. been puttering, feels pretty good after some enforced downtime recently think i have this week to put my houses in order. new insulin pump may arrive wed. hopefull by the end of the week i'll be up and running.

three strong ladys; my grandaughter lily on left, natalie in middle and melissa their mom on the right.

getting emails indicating my current malaise is showing. if i liked to watch tv and sleep i could say i feel fine. it's just that i like or am obsessed by doing, and it's pretty slow lately.

i wonder if fingerpaints might help. digging in the dirt. bubbles. talking to the night.

haven't been myself lately. worse, i don't know who has.

i am so confused, ill, out-of-sorts, tired of doctors, weary of life, rattled, skewed, so i made this to signify: nothing.

which is of course an integral part of something.

the something that occurs.

eternity occurs. now.

this is the last colored pencil drawing i found in obscure recently surfaced notebook. i think.

i wonder if a bumper sticker i might make - the old on that stated "enuf" either disintegrated or was stolen and is now for sale on ebay i guess - i wonder if it said "Corporations are People too" what people might make of it.

fresh. wish i could type. about BP (some person according to law). like you and me. evolving faster than biological humans did and are doing. emergant beings whose survival depends on profit. there may be a few biological humans whose survival is also a function of profit. the culture talks about winners and losers to encapsulate this notion.

somehow the corporate "person", in order to survive, has come up with the collateral damage idea. "we destroyed the village in order to save it." this type of damage is apart of the cost of production (of anything) and is paid for by biological humans.

down to notebook scraps and floating flotsam. to be buried in time capsule.

another pen and colored pencil artifact from some time ago.

found an old notebook while looking for my camera. buncha drawings. india ink and colored pencil period i guess. so i am going to put all the good ones up here until while scanning and sprinkling magic dust on them.

this one didn't quite work out. been in the doldrums of late.  i have been trying to ride a bicycle lately, they say you never forget how. which is maybe true. but with polygears and new design (to me), iguess i never knew how. so it's slow.

----later. i changed the image. still don't like it.

what the hell, i just had to post this.it's about the supporters of the az hoo-hah in pinal county az where i was born my grandfather and father lived there. dad was in the air force so i grew up elsewhere - nowhere really - and i was born in the county but not casa grande but a nearby desert town, florence, where the state central prison is the biggest deal around.

anyway it reminded me of how strange the identities are that we drag around, stories of someone else who i was. no more substantial than who i am now. unless the gateless gate is open, and if it is, how would i know? when socrates said "know yourself" he was talking about the experience of a being a particular person, not the cognition that is included. know yourself means be yourself. "be", the golden verb.

this is my 2500th post to this thing. that's more than enough. it will hang around in cyberspace but it's time to move on and up. thanks for watching.

this says more about profit-driven biz than is usually allowed by profit-driven biz. a must see. since moyers is leaving the media, it may be your last chance:
http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/07102009/watch2.html