Thursday, December 30, 2004


.feeling very cranky lately. have a funny feeling about the season to come.

don't forget susan sontag who died yesterday. a totally human being, as real as they come.

i just went into the living enclsure and got one of her books, opened it to this:

"photography implies that we know the world if we accept it as the camera records it. but this is the opposite of understanding, which starts from not accepting the world as it looks."

Wednesday, December 29, 2004


there's no time to talk. at least it can feel that way. and yet somehow, someway, what we are must express itself - my self.

it takes two to imagine One.

and vice-versa.

Monday, December 27, 2004


back from christmas trip to chapel hill. two nights in camper, not bad, comfortable. saw eli melissa lily nicole doug corbin nathan jen jim doug marcia ludie damien mary ninian.

it is apparent to me that as time bobbles along there is not enough left for those long soul changing talks we all had so long ago. but then it is a case of "been that, done there".

lotta loose ends to tie up. or untie.

the picture above i drew at doug and marsha's sunday nite, colored it when i got back.

and here's a pome i wrote on the road:

the habit hit me hard

when i was on my way

to look inside the telephone,

see what it had to say.

false morning's cobalt glow

melds the patterns in my head

to something i might follow

when i get to hit the bed.

but that was a lifetime ago

left canyons in my mind

space where you can walkabout

even if you're blind.

i never got the call

maybe the lines were down

i was amazed when i woke up

sleepwalking through the empty town.

"the pressure's on" is what they say

but i don't talk a lot.

i'm a maze without a map,

a hero i am not.

unseen patterns in the dark

clear enough to pray

out here we never phone,

there's too much to say.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

day after. everything is exactly like it is. the correct time is now.

Thursday, December 23, 2004


i'll be under my bed till the dust clears.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

i'm living a weird life. today i got up at nine, puttered, a run to the grocery store, been puttering every since.

below is what happens when i putter the day away.


it's an xmas decoration.

maybe it's the weather. big storm coming, dark, flurries. i passed on two gatherings of nice folks who i enjoy being with, just couldn't get out the door. i've been painting (puttering) all day.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

sat nite - i've been thru a long 24 hours.

met myria and charley at book ex. in hendersonville. a small start up business located in an alley very reminiscent of chicken alley in aville. about maybe 12 young folks showed up.

well in addition to the amazement one gets when talking to a grown young woman who i last talked to when she was... maybe 10? she sings great, and her originals are very powerful. yow!

it got too late to drive back so i drove to charlie's house and slept in the camper. no problem.

got up about 6 and banged my head in the dark. then drove home.

lot of blood when i looked in the mirror, but not too bad. i just pulled it together with a band-aid. i had left with a run of prints to do, so finished that. but i could not locate my survival kit, a purse like apparatus i carry with me.

lots of phone calls, myria and charles looking. around 11 i got ready to drive back to hville and the thing was in full view in the truck. i had gone out and turned everything upside down looking for it.

so i drove to the ER, 2-3 hours, no stitches required, everything is copecetic and i'm going to bed.

Friday, December 17, 2004

housekeeping. mailing xmas cards which i finally printed. one of the reasons i'm me is because it takes me longer to organize and mail then create them.

mariah (i forget how to spell it), cousin bob's daughter, phoned from hendersonville. i'm going to visit her and her boyfriend tonight. i haven't seen her in... a long time.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

tip of the hat to tharpa for pointing to this:
Guardian Unlimited | Life | Mike Purton: Physics and metaphysics: "From then on, irrespective of time and space, a correlation will always exist between them. What happens to one will affect the other - even if they are now at opposite ends of the universe."

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

really cold today, around 20 degrees. if i had any ambition i'd spend the day learning how to make a "degree" sign that would display correctly over the web.

snow flurries outside. my blood glucose reading was sky high this morning, spent most of the day dealing with it. talk about fatigue definitely a day to stay in bed.

Monday, December 13, 2004


photo from hike i took last week.

it's snowing somewhere. Driving back from winnie's this afternoon, sky bright blue, a few dark clouds in the air, you could see snowflakes darting through the field of view.

when i lived way up in the mountains we called this "blowing snow".

real snow might happen tonight, terminating the absolutely weird string of beautiful sunny weather we have had.

went to the riley's yesterday for Baba folks, everyone played music either in person or on a CD. sure worked for me. later.

Saturday, December 11, 2004


another encapsulated day. very raw outside. spent 12 hours wired to the apt. doing everything from vacuuming to stabilizing computer, lotta work on an oil.

in a way it's like being in love, that mad infatuation phase. as long as i'm making something, i feel fine. attention nailed.

but it can also be a little like a workaholic, an avoidance move.

and the new is always now. that is, creation is always now.

gee, i never thought i'd be mouthing one of america's mottos: "there's no time like the present."

Friday, December 10, 2004


the wreck of the annibelle lee

had big plans for today. got a walk in of computer time chasing weirdness which somehow was coming from additional layer styles i tried off a magazine cd-rom. visited tom and cathy in their new home.

ok here are the big plans: go to UU NRP - no partners required - from 7 to 8, then zip downtown for black mountain collage beatnik event.

it got dark, i got wobbly, so just me and jeopardy.

Thursday, December 9, 2004

yesterday was another beautiful day, heat off in house, windows open etc. i managed a successful run into town and back to, of all places, office depot. little traffic, quick in & out, the way i like it.

last nite i went o see preview of play american dream by edward albee. "preview" = dress rehearsal.

the theatre is problematic with me. attending a theatrical production, my attention is drawn to the humans on stage, their stage personas.

as far as the story goes, the narrative, i usually do not get caught up in it. there is some kind of narrative flow, or maybe context, that doesn't register much with me.

this is not new, but i've only recently become aware of it.

in collage, i had the pleasure of standing back stage during la traviata. yeah i know, it's an opera, but at that point in my life i was a big opera fan. during the deathbed scene in the final act i was maybe 15 feet from the diva, an import from the met whose name i cannot remember.

anyway it was the moment i remember, and that moment was free-standing, ie i was not necessarily aware of what led up to it in terms of plot.

a play is a series of moments, and i enjoyed seeing american dream. but as far as what happened, why it happened, and most importantly what it meant all i have is a few faint glimmers in the distance.

here's an interesting site where you can kill some time on a rainy day listening to the backward messages from various rock songs, all of which you are familiar with:

Backmask Online - Your Backmasking Source

Wednesday, December 8, 2004


beautiful december day today, i guess all up and down the east coast. no heat necessary last night; this morning opened the windows. tee-shirt weather.

after lunch i will drive to tunnel road where the giant malls live and try to slip in and out of officeMax. timing could be better, but maybe i'll get lucky and come back untraumatized.

going to edward abbey play tonight with janice whom i haven't seen since travis's funeral. it will be interesting to see how i experience theatre. in the past i have not been too good at this.

Tuesday, December 7, 2004

last nite in bed with AM radio babbling low, i happened to hear mike savage. for those of you unfamiliar with the underbelly of radioland, he is one of the worst of the neocon ranters. he had clips of the dylan interview on 60 minutes and spent a good 30 minutes playing them. he was fascinated with dylan's voice. "alpha male" voice he called it. he opined that with a man with a voice like that he could sit down and enjoy a few beers and conversation.

it was fascinating to hear him talk like this, obviously unacquainted with bob's work except thru the cultural grapevine. i was with a group of the no-longer-young the other day when the subject came up and all expressed amusement at the burned out singing voice he uses today.

me, i'm with mr savage.

Monday, December 6, 2004

been looking thru some old notebooks - actually looking for a drawing i did at some point to use for xmas card. as usual found a lot of stuff, pictures and more text than i recall. here is an example: (and still have not found notebook)

"alexander octopus

when i was just a kid

don't remember much

but remember once i did

moving down the highway

old and in whose way

another talent called for

another world holds sway

not fishing for a doctor

cause there ain't no cure

now is always new

so have some fun with fear

old friends die

and new friends live

i guess it only matters

if there's something left to give"

more amusment & delight:


Anime Popeye (at Camp Chaos)

Yahoo! News - Is ours a virtual reality? British scientists think deep thoughts

Saturday, December 4, 2004


woke up late, around 9, and made it to the UU church by 10, where i joined a group of about 12 on a hike, it was a beautiful day, and we drove to somewhere past brevard, then up through some part of the pisgah forest.

i had found a roll of unexposed film the day before so took it and a point and shoot.

the group was a pleasure to be with and i only fell into water one half times.

if i did everything tomorrow that i'm supposed to the day would be way too long so i probably won't make the friend's meeting at 10.

Friday, December 3, 2004


a cyberdoodle because i don't have a lot to say.

saw "sideways" yesterday. i thought i was going to see movie about che guevera's youthful travels. i didn't care for "sideways", sort of a napa valley woody allen thing featuring 2 yuppie couples. i just couldn't get interested in their lives. the male lead did portray depression pretty well.

Wednesday, December 1, 2004

daily altzheimer's test: can i remember what i did today?

worked on a couple of color prints, ongoing. took care of some billz & laundry. got mike's manuscript back to him, it was fun to read. returned it at writers weekly group meeting, about 20-25 very serious people. got frame for picture i will send to ludie. finished 2 color wheels, one for watercolor, one for oils. based on 2 different theories, just doing them clarified some things. made 2 phone calls concerning medication.

did i remember everything? don't know because of course i can't remember if i forgot anything. "by definition" as someone once said, i forget who.

oh yes, i located the battery in quadra 650, and assembled tools to get to it. i'll do it in the morning.

the sufi term zikr means "remembrance" i learned recently.

remember apple? they made computers?

TechWeb | News | Unprotected PCs Fall To Hacker Bots In Just Four Minutes | Nov. 30, 2004: "The lifespan of a poorly protected PC connected to the Internet is a mere four minutes, research released Tuesday claimed. After that, it's owned by a hacker."

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

pay attention: - Business: Economic `Armageddon' predicted

a slow pleasant week coming up i hope. finally got screen door storm window rebuilt and in place. ready for the storm. finished portrait of imago anima i have been fooling with for months. working on resuscitating quadra 650 so i can record to it from G4. got case open but can't remember how to get to motherboard. jim has about talked me into trying OSX in dual boot mode. recorded a guitar piano duet last nite.

just ran garbage out, almost missed truck. not hitting on all cylinders today. again.

Monday, November 29, 2004

this link has some bad news and some good news. i wonder which is which?

Head Transplants

Sunday, November 28, 2004

finished this watercolor this morning. i guess i started it before travis's death. did more than i realized to it when i was sick. i'd pass by, stop, look, grab brush make some very necessary marks. then off to bed and i forgot about it.

what's to say? who's to say it?

anyway i like the picture.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

seem to be mostly recovered from nasty bug. restless, impatient, full of ideas and plans to do this and that. sure sign that my head is buzzing once again with images i want to move into the manifest world, that is, paper, canvas. i've slept enough since tuesday to - maybe - last me thru the holiday blowout.

for some reason during this process i have become interested in the Oedipus complex. what this means i don't know except

1) it is a part of the jigsaw puzzle with no frame that is life; no frame being the infinite extension of the plane a la escher, and

2) i must be back to pseudo-normal, checking out the obscure and meaningless, a habit of mine.

my trusty 17 inch NEC monitor is on the fritz, don't know how much longer it will last. can't complain, i think i have been staring at it over 12 years.

Friday, November 26, 2004

still sick as a - so-to-speak - dog. spent 3 1/2 hours in ER yesterday, x-ray etc., upshot is i have flu. virus, cold, the crud, or something along that line.

fell into deep sleep when i got back. woke up and there was turkey, cranberries, stuffing in the refrigarator. i couldn't even begin to imagine how it got there but it sure was good.

good friend richard phoned me later and said he had dropped by, i was dead to the world - forgive the expression - listening to NPR very loud, something about somebody chasing a chicken.

back to bed.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

straight from my rumpus room: i got back yesterday with a bad cold, sore throat, double-matrix rna virus. strange because i don't get these things most winters.

i feel terrible.

vitamin C by the handful and i'm about to venture out for zinc lozenges. but mostly i'll stay in bed hallucinating.

i've got that strange sensation i can remember from winters past. it's sort of like i'm not quite in my body. you know the sensation? if someone snuck quietly behind me and made a loud noise, i'm sure my psyche would fragment and head for parts unknown. plus i'm fixing and swapping mice and keyboards like crazy because they all seem a little off.

Monday, November 22, 2004

back in aville. last week pretty much devoted to driving to triangle, visiting with the aycocks, really nice service for travis in warrenton, good to talk to so many old friends. got back today. hiding under bed until holidays are over,

Monday, November 15, 2004


Bad news. travis aycock died in an automobile accident sat. evening.

his loss will be felt by many friends and his family. his friendship was a blessing for many of us. quiet, unassuming, he had the most beneficent head and heart of anyone i know. his compassion and feeling were understated but never in doubt by those of us fortunate enough to know him. i would have trusted him with my life and guess i did on more than one occasion.

his wife of what? 30-40 years? ludie and his children gretchen and damien know how special he was. and they are.

a prayer for his soul: God speed travis. we'll meet again down the road.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

mixed up week. some days felt bone-tired all day, some felt great. a crap shoot. a case, i believe, of mixed-up metabolism colliding with the seasons rushing by much too fast.

went to hear john hammond at the gray eagle friday nite. really upbeat evening. it was his 61st or 62nd birthday come midnight, and he really looked great. i was unaware of the tom waits album he put out awhile back. he played some of the cuts from that and, of course, a lot of delta country blues about as well as anyone on the planet. see John Hammond: "Blues doesn't get any better than this, in concept or execution. Stay on the road, John Hammond."

the time i saw john must have been 65 or 66, summer. he was playing in some little joint in raleigh, and i went with a gaggle of the usual suspects from that strange and distant era. there was a party afterwards out in the country. carolina night, cool, moonlit(?), that eternal chorus of the woods critters swirling around in waves.

some evening this week i watched frontline: the persuaders | PBS, which was about commercial persuading. the first 30 minutes were so full of phrases and observations that could be taken as, in my opinion, commentary on the election i grabbed a pencil and scribbled them down as fast as i could.

here are some of them:

"someone once wrote a book called 'advertisements for myself'".

"pseudo-spiritual marketing"

"brand-forged corporate epiphanies"

"brands can create a whole meaning system for people"

"cult brands belong to tribe"

"study cults & apply to brands to see how one becomes a disciple"

"six mammoth holding companies now own all ad agencies, which have become commodities"

"the goal of a brand is to create and maintain loyalty beyond reason"

brands are becoming experiences"

need any other reason to turn off all media?

Thursday, November 11, 2004


i seem to be out of words lately, so i'll just post pictures for awhile.

for those that are curious, it took me about 1 1/2 hours to do the above from scratch. starting out with a complete blank. used photoshop 7.

don't get me wrong. i'm not saying that it's worth the time it took in terms of what you're looking at. but in terms of mental health maintenance it is well worth the time it took. maybe it's like meditation. maybe it's the total interest, attraction, fascination that i experience.

all i know is that if i start the day with a little time dedicated to this or similar activity i feel better and get more done during the day.

don't know why.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004


going thru one of those weeks... when it seem's like i'm almost gone.

remember that song by richie havens? i found the picture above on hard drive while on the telephone a few minutes ago.

it might be a return to the paleolithic... got a book of cave art from the library yesterday...

the ice-age every winter, it starts about now.

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

as some of you may or may not know, by the time the election rolled around, i had already voted and wasn't paying too much attention to the daily news - i call it the daily "snooze". i went to bed about 9:30 election night thinking it looked good for kerry.

i left the radio in my bedroom on low the entire night. in fact i've been doing this for a couple of years. BBC all night long.

(i was told years ago by a fellow middle-aged insomniac what a terrible practice this was. god knows where the news goes while i doze (good title for country song?))

anyway when i woke up the next day the news was no surprise. i may have been the least depressed person in town.

or maybe i didn't notice through my normal state of depression.

anyway my feeling is that the bush situation is just more of the same thing that i have been living all of my adult life. "in the homeland we've never seen" (neil young.)

"what can a poor boy do?"(stones).
what can an old man do?

if you have he time - and you do - check out the links below for whatt more of the same is looking like today:

The Optimism of Uncertainty - Kerry Won. . .

BBC News | Front pages from 4 November 2003

Evidence Mounts That The Vote May Have Been Hacked

DNC: Election 2004 Feedback

t r u t h o u t - William Rivers Pitt | Worse Than 2000: Tuesday's Electoral Disaster

Times Online - Sunday Times - Glitch gave Bush extra votes in Ohio - Nov 5, 2004

Saturday, November 6, 2004

making the email rounds:

Thomas Jefferson, from a letter he sent in 1798 after the passage of the Sedition Act:

"A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their spells dissolve, and the people, recovering their true sight, restore their government to its true principles. It is true that in the meantime we are suffering deeply in spirit, and incurring the horrors of a war and long oppressions of enormous public debt......If the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have patience till luck turns, and then we shall have an opportunity of winning back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are at stake."

Friday, November 5, 2004


supposed to get cold tonight, maybe first frost. i totally lost yesterday, either 1) short flu or 2) post-election coma (short-lived) or 3) or maybe it's the weather or something like that...

been making postcard-like planer objects... now if i could only figure out what they're for.

finished the picture above 2 days ago. what it is i dunno but the colors look great in the sunlight.

today i began spring housekleening. my present system is to walk around & pick all objects up, put them in a pile in front room. then - the hard part - i go thru the objects and put them up or put them out.

i continue to get email with links to web pages where the democrats catastrophe is explained or commented on. i'll post them another day (tomorrow).

Thursday, November 4, 2004

the election "might be called Bryan's revenge for the Scopes trial of 1925..."

The New York Times > Opinion > Op-Ed Contributor: The Day the Enlightenment Went Out:

sleepless night last night. it's after one o'clock in the afternoon and i still haven't woken up.

here is arianna's fix on the unfortunate election. i think she is right.

"...those in charge of the Kerry campaign ignored this giant, blood-red elephant standing in the middle of the room"

ARIANNA ONLINE - November 03, 2004 - Anatomy Of A Crushing Political Defeat

but her explanation is not complete; IMHO the corporate brand-name culture that we live in (under?) has hi-jacked language. the resident president is a branded icon, and that's all he needs to be. TV ads have successfully communicated to us via this language for a couple of generations now. when we see a commercial, the categories of truth and falsehood go out the window. the heavy - and expensive - lifting is done by icon, recognition of the brand.

as the marketeers say, "it works".

and here is somebody else who is right:

the election "might be called Bryan's revenge for the Scopes trial of 1925..."

The New York Times > Opinion > Op-Ed Contributor: The Day the Enlightenment Went Out

Wednesday, November 3, 2004

revolting ain't it?

Tuesday, November 2, 2004

the big day:

a site that plans to keep tabs real-time on election results & also any shenanigans. - An Election Spoiled Rotten: "The Dems may not like to shout about this, but studies indicate that 90-some percent of people who have served time for felonies will, after prison, vote Democratic. One suspects Colorado's Republican secretary of state knows that."

Democracy Now! | New Initiative Calls for Mass Protest on Nov. 3 if Election is "Stolen": "That's why this No Stolen Election campaign has been put together, and we encourage all of your listeners to go onto the website which is Take the pledge that you will be out there on the streets with us on November 3, if need be."

and now for the important stuff: | 11/01/2004 | That's incredible: "In short, ``The Incredibles'' goes where no purely computer-animated film has gone before. Through the combination of cutting-edge technology and the subtleties of facial animation, body gestures and caricature, it convinces you that the digital actors are alive. Animated, yes, but alive.

Monday, November 1, 2004


the noise machine is noisier than ever these last few days. at least i think it is, i've turned my hearing aid off.

and we've got the holidays cranking up already.

i walked back from richard and debbie's in the dark last night. blundered thru the bushes only once. it was oddly reassuring to stroll thru the blackness. reminiscent of the old days when i enjoyed walking thru chatham county forests at night pretty sure footed. my thinking at the time was when you are in the middle of the deep forest sight doesn't help a lot anyway.

check this out: some really nice paintings. taking a second look, they are not that good. but the painter is only 4 years old. there is something going on here, i'm not sure what.

Marla Olmstead

Sunday, October 31, 2004


"everywhere in the west there are subversive minorities who, sheltered by our humanitarianism and our sense of justice, hold the incendiary toarches ready, with nothing to stop the spread of their ides except the critical reason of a single, fairly intelligent, mentally stable stratum of the population. one should not overestimate the thickness of this stratum...

the mass crushes out the insight and reflection that are still possible with the individual, and this necessarily leads to doctrinaire and authoritarian tyranny if ever the consistutional state should succumb in a fit of weakness..."

from the undiscovered self by c. g. jung (1957)

Saturday, October 30, 2004

nother day, nother holler.

took the genz dogs for a walk this morning. beautiful day, beautiful fall colors. and if you don't know what a genz dog is, that's too bad.

spent the afternoon indoors slaving away over hot computer figuring out how to print postcards. out of art. or into.

either way i had a hell of a time getting front and back to match up and downsise. i mean downwize.

that a relatively simple problem took me more time to solve than i expected is no surprise. so does walking from a to b. so does going to a movie.

oddly enough i can still buy groceries as fast as anyone i know.

now for the important stuff: election.

i voted last week.

i'm restricted media-wize (sorry i can't seem to stop) to 3 1/2 over the air channels.

the radio is cool, on AM i can get the left wing socialist pinko extreme liberal station "air america". BBC at night.

what a ballet. reality for what it's worth is being re-orchestrated by "the noise machine". and we're part of it.

what if they had an election - like they used to have bread and circuses in byzantium - and nobody came? or everybody voted with a symbol instead of a sign?

bush, kerry, nader, neocons, liberals, sierra club, sound byte, spin, reality shows; they are all brand names, right?

which are you gonna buy?

Thursday, October 28, 2004

this is a test. i can't post very easy any more. i think it is because this damn thing is way too big. i'm going to redo it some day.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

rainy day outside, good day to stay put.

projects piling up. tydying up new life book before jeff gets back from india. i am certain he will have a lot of new stuff to be shoehorned in.

something has been missing from my daily routine and i finally figured out what it is: audio recording which i've been away from for a long time. the last couple of days ive reconfigured this and that and started putting old pieces of music together. i lost my midi connection to keyboard for awhile but i'm back in business now. i want to resuscitate qudra 650 which i think will help me with a few audio workarounds.

marx said governments would wither away. that's what must be happening as the electorial process here descends deeper and deeper into the noise abyss. a lot of the nonsense going on seems to hinge on choice of institution - or as some might say, "the man". it's either government or bizz, that's the choice to rule our life. i think we are on the cusp of an as yet non-existant emergant choice. one outside the economic and government spheres. if this happens, the 2 reigning domains will fade away into some ornimental state, like fuedalism into chivelry in the late middle ages.

the newly emergant will no doubt include things like experience, ludic emplyment, a new reverence for human experience and all like that.

or not.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004


why nader is right: he describes the present state of electorial democracy accurately, and does a good job of highlighting the reasons it is not working any more.

why i am voting for kerry: it may give the nation state and the people who live in it time to realize that nader is right.

Monday, October 25, 2004


a flower in hand

to give back to you

who live in the land

where beauty is true.

saturday i shot some fall folige at dr. r's. first time in 4 autumns i managed to do this before it was winter and too late. sunday i decleared a non-day, stayed home and did nothing much. slept a lot.

week before the election, should be a few blips of excitment, but i think the real action will be invisible to us peasants.

surprises? of course? surprises that matter? we'll see.

in the meantime, 2 good pieces about mr. dylan.

Alex Ross: The Rest Is Noise: Emptying the ashtrays

Alex Ross: The Rest Is Noise: The Wanderer

Saturday, October 23, 2004


it's quick, it's loose

but i don't care

it's gotta be around,

maybe in the air

don"t know when i lost it,

it could have been the night

it poured cats and dogs

and i thought i saw some lights

i looked low

and i looked high

couldn't remember

just what was i

loss is part of life

the part that you can feel

but i can't see too good

something is concealed

yesterday is no account

the past is pulled apart

right now i'm doing this

cause i misplaced my heart

the wind it sings

blows through my mind

scatters thoughts

i'll never find

the lost and found department

must have a lot of stuff

but it's lost too

left me feeling pretty rough

don't worry that it's useless

don't fret about what's not

there's plenty more out there somewhere

i know that i forgot.

a song for the rest of us, and i can almost guarantee that it did not exist ten minutes ago. the radio is off, the TV's out the door, no newspapers, not a book that i can read. my mind was ringing, now it sings. lounge music, scrounge music, singing in it's chains. thanks to both dylans for this respite.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

if you can't stand seeing it friday night, read it here now:

Daily Kos :: "Stolen honor" - TRANSCRIPT


a heavy presence

clouds the land

raving priestess


plays end,

lives unravel

if time is real

there's nowhere to travel

hunker down

it's happened before

you could say

don't know what it's for

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

news concerning ferrets, image, and the matrix, not necessarily in that order:

University of Rochester Press Releases

Monday, October 18, 2004

i was emailed this link this morning by tharpa. thanks. it shows, i believe, why this election concerns much more than the candidates and their differing world views.

Stewart on Crossfire

if bush wins, it will mark a point in our culture where human discourse has been replaced by iconic, brand name machinations which the media have fallen into supported by the kind of cash that only multi-nationals have. it could easily be the leading edge of a communication revolution where individual thought ceases to be the source of expression and becomes instead the repository of predetermined knee jerk response.

there may remain here and there small circles of friends who respect the dignity of human existence and attempt to express it, but they will probably only talk late at night in secure locations.

naming something establishes a relationship between the namer and the named. the machinery pushing for the re-election of the junta has just about taken that power from the humans that live in it's world.

i am convinced that the silenced majority feels this taking place and doesn't like it. but without a language other than mediated postures, what can they do?

on the positive side i heard ABC's doctor in residence say on the news broadcast last night that profit may not be the best motive for making and distributing flu vaccine.

profit as the engine that drives our world has displaced every other reason to get something done. big mistake.

on the negative side, the only alternative the doctor could imagine was the government.

new entities with new motivations are slowly taking form. but a bush win could set all this back.

Sunday, October 17, 2004


finished yesterday. i used some 25 year old gouach on this painting and was delighted with what it can do. a quarter century ago when i tried it, i got nowhere. now it's just another tool. either it or i or both have changed.

had an epiphany yesterday afternoon: the light, the color, the air were beautiful. even more meaningful, my apartment seemed just right, everything, all 10,000 of them seemed animated, in a good mood, and already ready as they say.

for all of us, the election floats in the background of the world. worrisome, uneasy, troubled.

my present thoughts are that the folks who vote for bush are the folks who are perfectly - well maybe not perfectly - at ease with the brand name commerce world view. they do not expect, nor want, verbal or written monologues or dialogues. they are comforted by the video icons of the junta.

in advertising, there is something called (i think) "reinforcement". this is an ad placed not so much to convert you to buy the product as to make you feel good that you chose the product in the past. the cola drinks excel at this technique.

the junta is 100% using this mode now that nothing else has seemed to work for them. it does not matter whether bush contradicts himself, lies, or makes any sense. the public does not expect this in brand name publicity: just the appearance of the branded icon is enough.

the marketing people of the new world disorder will tell you that this works.

if McBush is elected - for the first time i might add - it will mark the beginning of a world view that deals only in brand name symbols. the losers will be thinkers (eggheads), the new young voters (gen whatever), and other pockets of the population who see thru the brand name miasma.

there is to be a protest at WLOS, local TV station owned by sinclair who are ordering it's possession, and all of the other many TV stations it owns, to show anti-kerry production next friday as "news". because of the time and location this should be an interesting exercise.

Saturday, October 16, 2004


i'm working on the picture above. some old photos were found in chapel hill and this is one of them. the original is really really beat up. sally and eric, basalt colorado, 69-70?

this morning i got up at 5 and drove to get a drive-by, oops i mean drive through clinic. it was already gridlocking when i got there, but i was out in three hours. i think it was good practice for a possible future, i mean right now.

visited john r., fall already well started in those neck of the woods.

threw old mattress and boxsprings out and installed new twin. plan is to put elevated plywood under it.

late this afternoon, back home, the light and air were crystal clear, everything seemed like it was.

Friday, October 15, 2004


took me awhile to sloooowly bounce back from recent trip. i think i'm still bouncing.

about the election campaign which i've mostly avoided talking about because i'm soooo confused. not about who we all need to vote for, but about the cultural landscape materializing in front of us.

the junta that kidnapped the republican party are using a streamlined and highly tweaked version of the technique they have used - mostly successfully - since reagon. ie dems are liberal, tax and spend, probably demonstrated against the vietnam war and still can't park a bicycle straight.

but it strikes me that this mode has evolved into something very disturbing. it is a sort of brand consciousness mode, has more in common with advertising cereal on tv than what we used to call politics.

take "total", the cereal that for over 20 years has competed successfully with variations on one message: it has 100% of the daily vitamins you need. what this means is that if you only ate one meal a day that was a bowl of this cereal you would starve, but nonetheless have a full day's worth of vitamins.

bush and his people have adapted this method of selling. everything they say is short and familiar. slogans, bumper sticker stuff.

and like tv ads, truth or falsity does not matter. we have been conditioned to watch ads with no regard to truth. they are simply icons repeated endlessly.

but they work. they sell stuff.

so the meaningless slogans, "you can run but not hide", "tax and spend liberal" etc. might actually win the election. the democrats are a step behind, attempting to discuss issues.

if kerry loses, a lot of bad things will ensue. one of them will be future elections that are a parody, much like the elections in some third world countries where icons are marked on the ballot. coca cola or pepsi?

Tuesday, October 12, 2004


woke up

got out of bed

dragged a comb

across my head

took a look

blinked my eyes

scratched my feet

they weren't my size


today's illustration i drew at my son eli and wife melissa's house on the evening i arrived in chapel hill - fri.

extremely nice visit with my father and sister, children and grandchildren. everyone doing well, better and better. what a pleasure to visit with them all. definitely was a challenge to my stamina, but i can't think of more pleasant way to spend it.

everyone's head was screwed on differently but right. now that that is settled i'm going to bed.

tomorrow i'll be trying to score flu vaccine. stand in front of alley and mutter " any flu vaccine?" to the passers-by. good practice for the new millennium. maybe i can trade a kidney for some.

i understand the corporations don't like to manufacture this vaccine because there is no money in it. so the entire situation makes sense and is right. the profit motive is the prime-time injunction. what a relief.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

sunday morning. my dad and sister are visiting in chapel hill, 3 of my children and 2 grandchildren - my dad's great-grand children.

dad says good morning. beautiful weather. we are heading for the park to see sally's bench.

nice day to play. reishi mushrooms are where it's at.

Thursday, October 7, 2004


Wednesday, October 6, 2004


woke up this morning

got out of my head

wiggled my toes

and got out of bed

stumbled to the coffee pot

circled for a bit

mixed up the medicine

the light bulb was lit

remembered a dream

which i promptly forgot

later i'll eat

or maybe not

right now i'm sitting

looking at my talk

words here & there

key in the lock

the door might be open

to one more day

i think i'll walk out

and check out the play

Tuesday, October 5, 2004

in 1955 i was living with my parents and younger sister in alexandria va. we had moved from 2 years in tainan taiwan. i got a clock radio for christmas. i used it at night turned low to fall asleep by. i tried different stations. i don't even remember if there was FM.

one station really grabbed me. i often think about it because there was no platform in my culture to expose me to WOOK in washington dc.

what was it in the air that threw me right into this music at the age of 13 - 14 years old.

bb king, big joe turner, muddy waters, harpo slim. that blues thing that was a giant magnetic force in the culture. it took over the world.

there was a disk jockey on in the evening named lord flauntleroy bandy. he was from jamaca. he only spoke in rhyme.

so that's what i'm going to try awhile on this ongoing "thing"

like crossin the street with your hat in the ring.

expected return most any hour

rpms without any power.

Monday, October 4, 2004


pleasant sunday, well paced. walk in the morning thru the mist and fog. talked later in the day to an acquaintance who said she was not going out all day for a number of reasons, one being the cold nasty weather. it's that time of the year when i wonder around in shorts and t shirts surrounded by coats and sweaters. my addled metabolism does better in the cold.

skipped friends meeting to clean and organize for trip later in week. pretty much finished first run of miniature water color mountain landscapes, i'll live with them for awhile, see what i've got, and start putting them on note cards for the gods of commerce.

was headed for Baba meeting at 4 but got a call from old friend doug who is in town so spent some time visiting him and a few friends. nice time out.

haven't been to see the Baba folks in awhile and will touch bases with them one of these sunday afternoons coming up.

doc appt at ten this morning. will change oil and radiator fluid after to prepare for trip to chapel hill. now for the important stuff:

alone at nite i pace the walls

the silence of the crickets loud

the first full moon of autumn

drifts in and out of clouds.

my dreams are distant, far away

or maybe they're right here.

cold air streams thru the windows

my mind is empty, clear

somewhere limbic rivers dance

in shaded groves of thought

wounded warriors sit around

only glad they fought.

the images are never done

there is no end to flow

i feel the mystery's edge,

the place where thoughts won't go.

soon enough

slow mornings glow

will open up the crowded space

where light's surprise will show.

Sunday, October 3, 2004


i've been working with a set of 4 x 6 watercolors, that is reducing and otherwise prepping them into 4 x 6 200 dpi files. object is to turn out sets of notecards with envelopes etc. to place in local shops. above is the last one, now i can move onto penultimate step. (there is no ultimate step, y'know.)

what to say about today?

a surprise or two along the way.

took a walk up thru the mist;

realized i missed the kiss

the wind blew so far away.

but the mountaintop says that's OK,

the perfect moment must contain

muddy boot tracks along the lane,

otherwise why be here,

so far away and way too near.

Saturday, October 2, 2004


i replaced the picture that was above with the one that is above. the former was my try at comment on the debate and it didn't work. the present pix is straight out of my head 4:30 this morning. i'm going to stay away from visual editorials in the future.

watched the debate w/ a few cutaways and thought maybe kerry had a slight edge. rewatched it on a split screen and it was kerry by a landslide. the reaction shots of both participants made all the difference, the sound could just as well have been off, so the split screen version was far more devestating for bush. if i had it to do over i would have listened to mr. dylan for the audio portion.

then stuck around for the instant spin and was relieved that kerry was declared the winner. took about one hour.

last nite spent a classic evening in asheville, one hour with the ladies in black, dinner, drumming circle till ten.

i could feel the special quality of aville here and now. heard 6 different people say they'd moved here in the last 2 weeks. it's happening folks. wonder what it will be like as time does it's thing.

Thursday, September 30, 2004

misty foggy morning, the way i like it. started reading dylan's visions of sin by ricks who is heavy-duty english academic. from the first 20 pages or so it comes across as trippy word play a la dylan.

don't know what i'll do during the superbowl tonight. from 7 to 9 the author of why bush must go is speaking downtown. he is an episcopal priest, maybe bishop, i don't know, who has retired from atlanta and come to the center of the universe, aville nc.

i do want to watch the superbowl, as an observer of the cultural, memetic mish mash we live in, and it starts at 9. maybe i'll go to a redneck bar (there are a few left here from the pre-green days).

today, among other things, i am going to finish oil painting i have been fooling with for months. i screwed it up again yesterday. it is apparently a portrait of my anima, the muse who keeps me amused - and confused. i am going to finish it even if i have to paint it black. have not acquired the knack of handling oils.

phoned the garbage dept. - i forget the official name - and found out they will pick up 2 spare computers i have laying around that are too old to sell or give away. it was a relief to find this out.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004


another recycle job, in honor of mr. d. who i understand will be answering questions tomorrow at newsweek site. what question would you ask?

meeting last night at the ken wilber group. very enjoyable, what a great group of humans.

spent yesterday, in addition to being chained to computer, vacuuming house, cleaning etc. i consider this a major success. it took me two weeks just to find bag for vacuum cleaner unit.

reading from beirut to jerusalem by freidman. five stars. here's an excerpt:

"indeed, instead of entering lebanon with a real knowledge and understanding of the society and its actors, israel simply burst in with tanks, artillery, and planes on one hand and a fistful of myths in the other - myths about the nature of lebanon as a country, about the character of israel's lebanese maronite christian allies, about the palastinians, and about israel's own power to reshape the middle east. it would take three months, but eventually these myths would undermine all that the israeli military hardware achieved."

at least it only took them three months...

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

i was pretty tired last evening, sitting blankly in front of TV, not really watching ABC news which was winding down. but i swear i thought i heard someone say - it could have been hourly news on radio - something like the following:

"the FBI did not have enough evidence to arrest him, which is why they deported him."

Monday, September 27, 2004


latest out of my head.

the weekend. saturday i took 2 walks, total time about 3 1/2 hours. both were more or less unplanned. afternoon way too hot. went to peace rally downtown. my impression: not very impressive. in terms of any effect. didn't stay long. attended meeting of small group of men who are interested in starting men's group.. all Baba lovers. may go, may not, but saw some old friends and met some new ones.

strange that after all these years i attended 2 of these things in one week. still don't know what they are for, going on instinct.

leaving i backed into drop off in the dark, got stuck, phoned for tow truck, it was saturday night etc. maybe i already wrote about this. had a pleasant time waiting for tow in the dark, feeling light breeze and listening to the night sounds.

sunday i packed 2 computers into truck and went to friends meeting. i was going to give them to george for garage sell they have once a year but forgot he was on retreat with a lot of group.

invited to salon by janice, very pleasant interlude on back porch, great potluck, good people, excellent break for me.

expecting big rains today and tomorrow, i'll just take it easy and hide under bed.

things more important than my daily meanderings: incipient fascism, semiotic dilemma of communicating to "us" that the junta has stolen the republican party, bush's war helps the terrorists bigtime, and the difficulty of talking to the "crowd".

if you talk to a human face to face that's one thing, if you talk to the entire population of the USA that's another: sound bites and icons is about all the tools you can use. in this context the meaning of meaning is changed, which accounts for the folks who think bush is the more capable leader. my question: if you were in the jungle, surrounded in the dark by snakes and alligators, and people who had survived this environment for 5000 years and who were bent on killing you, would you want to be led by bush or kerry?

Friday, September 24, 2004


early morning errand this morning. hauling boxes of books to book sale around the corner at UU church. sale starts in a couple of hours so i gotta roll.

of course last nite i was tossing books every which way into floor piles. made a number of interesting discoveries. one was a translation of the tao teh king by archie j. baum. i first ran across this book in psychedelic days, and still think it is the best translation i have encountered. what is weird is that he was a philosophy professor at u. of new mexico, not a poet. a few lines:


"if Nature is inexpressible, he who desires to know Nature as it is in itself will not try to express it in words

"to try to express the inexpressible leads one to make distinctions which are unreal."


"nature is the formless source of all forms, and yet it remains unaffected by its forms.

"thus it appears to us as mysterious.

"no matter how closely we scrutinize its coming toward us, we cannot discover a beginning.

"no matter how long we pursue it, we will never find its end."


"intelligence consists in acting according to nature.

"nature is something that cannot be seen or touched."


as i remember from 40 years ago you need to read this translation from beginning to end because it builds on itself, rather than being a series of enigmatic verses.

also found a piece of paper dating back to 2002 with a short verse i had scribbled:

a wink of the eye

a flash in the pan

there i was

here i am

god's odd moments in between

breath going south

if you know what i mean

might look good on a gravestone.


a funny day, saturday. put out about the last of 8x10 color prints. next i reduce them all to 4x6 postcard thingys. made 3 trips to UU church to dump books for them to sell. while there i bought a few, of course. still space is blooming here and there in the bunker. ran errands all afternoon, driving truck here and there.

[by the way, after a good night's sleep, i realized i posted this on friday. damn, it sure seemed like saturday.]

listened to air america most of the day. fascinating.

air america was also the name of CIA secret airline in the orient after WWII.

tomorrow i go to peace rally downtown. these days there is no chance of blowing a 50 amp fuse at these affairs. maybe i can wind surf.

got a call from steve t. who wants to start a men's group tomorrow. i told him i'd go, even tho i went to one tuesday.

watched a TV thing about freud and c. s. lewis the other night, part of it anyway, before i nodded out. one thing that struck me was lewis saying that agape was a question of volition, not feeling. in other words, whereas erotic love "happens" to us from time to time - the greeks called it madness - agape is a choice and you might not feel blissed out when you make it. just do it.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

yesterday was a total loss. after 2 hour morning walk up - and down - sunset mnt in the morning i was way more wasted than i would have liked. BG - that's blood glucose for the non-type 1 diabetes among you - way too low for the rest of the day which i mostly spent wondering around apartment trying to accomplish this and that not too succesfully.

this should be a new paragaph by the time you see it. now that i can post to this weblog there are a few formatting glitches.

had air america on the radio on most of the day. it shares with the right-wing radio talk shows way too many advertising spots and a sort of hysterical manic tone. but you do learn a lot.

case in point: talk with clark who was anti-terrerist czar under seven presidents. (doesn't sound right but i think that's what they said.) some of what was said was truly astounding, and you won't know a damn thing about it unless you read his book which i intend to.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004


i think i'm back anyway. won't go into the intricacies of what has kept this weblog off line for over a week, but i think and hope it is fixed. one thing i realized while fooling with this thing was that my technical expertise is not what it once was.

i am definitely puttering around at this point with using software & hardware. by the seat of my pants. Intuitively.

just messing around in other words. it has it's good side, creative novelty, surprises. bad side is when i have to remember how to do something. if my fingers don't remember it i have a problem. just the way i work it.

discovered the left's answer to rightwing talk shows yesterday. it's been on AM radio in these parts for 2 weeks. it's much better than i thought it would be when there was talk of this move last summer.

and it's a clear channel station.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

mmm... ok i sprinkled all the magic dust i have on this rig and will try one more time to post.

[microseconds later] that didn't work. maybe this will...

[microseconds later] ok i vacuumed all of the magic dust out of the bits and bytes. i'll try again.

[many many microseconds later] hmmmm....

Monday, September 20, 2004

last nite i dreamed i was young again. unusual because i don't remember many dreams these days. i dreamed about donna, an old love of mine: we were both young, engaged with the world, everything was possible. we were in love in that mysterious hard to talk about way, both mysteries to each other, both not caring that we were a mystery.

was the world ever this way? for real?


i'm still trying to post this stuff. it's not working



Saturday, September 18, 2004

what with floods and all, no water last week and no electricity quite often, i have not been able to fix whatever is keeping these posts to my site.

used the forced downtime when utilities were out, put it to good use. restrung chinese fiddle - er hu - tuned a bunch of things. cleaned things, added to throw away pile. started very casual watercolor, pouring washes. rearrainged furniture. looked at sky the color of copper. that is just a hint, a glow, of strange color.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

"What we need to search for and find, and what we need to hone and perfect into a magnificent, shining thing, is a new kind of politics. Not the politics of governance, but the politics of resistance. The politics of opposition. The politics of accountability. The politics of slowing things down. The politics of joining hands across the world and preventing certain destruction. In the present circumstances, I'd say that the only thing worth globalizing is dissent."
- Arundhati Roy

Monday, September 13, 2004

check this out:
New Scam Tactic Hits Online

how the democrats are losing the election

the republicans have leaped over the dems during the past 40 years in learning how to communicate to the crowd. they have done this by early on pumping millions into the verious neo-con foundations. these foundations, among other things, have made an ongoing study of public relations, brand-name advertising. they began this after goldwater and were pretty good at it by the time reagon was elected. they have excelled at the quick pitch and defining the language of political discourse during most of my lifetime.

today the republicans are using this modality better than ever. the party has also been hijacked. last nite i heard toni morrisn refer to this bunch as "almost a junta" on BBC. they are using the succesful techniques of the past but pushing past the limits into outrageous territory. one hope is that they will continue this trend to the point where the "silenced majority" will have had enough and revolt in the polling booth, but it hasn�t happened yet.

hitler used the "big lie". the present rulers of our nation have developed this into the repeated little lie. that is, understanding the nature of the sound bite, every day they will repeat one line, over and over, until they begin to do the same with a new line. note that these lines do not necessarily follow a logical order, or even agree with each other.

i guess the best example of this today is the "flip-flop" line. i believe it is about 6 weeks old. had it not grabbed hold, the junta would have gone on to another. but it did grab hold, and the dems are still holding focus groups, strategy sessions, and circulating memos about it.

in other words, the junta is using the tried and true semiotic media-based closure of discourse they have perfected over the years, and the dems are stuck to a bunch of tar-babies, kicking, twitching and trying to get loose.

the feeling today is that the election is the democrats to lose, and they are losing. what can they do to change this situation?

new policies, tax plans, well thought out solutions to the medical problems we have, even plans for the future of iraq will not change anything.

but a single well placed sound bite, bumper sticker, or phrase might.

for instance:


from the vietnam war to today i have continued to learn, and sometimes changed my mind. haven't you?

critique war strategy = no support for troops -->

the troops have been put in a thankless position by a stratigic plan that needs an overhaul

we are safer as a nation without a saddam -->

that might be true if we had used a more subtle combination of pressures to ease him out, but as it is a by-product of the way we did it is to insure more and more enemies.

homeland defense --> attacking iraq because of 9-11

is like attacking mexico after pearl harbor. it gives the real enemy time to regroup and carry on while our military is pinned down.

these responses could have been made in heartbeat. a war room of media savvy folks could handle it (clinton did this).

conclusion: let edwards loose. he has the experience of fielding a surprise semiotic attack, and can turn it back on itself very quickly. the only thing he will have to adjust is to be brief which is necessary for an effective sound bite.

there is a highly styalized type of public discourse which is dominating the discourse. it has more to do with selling soap than politics. everyone on the "darkside", from the top down, needs to immediately step outside the box of politicalspeak and talk straight and simple.

details, details. it all really gets down to this question: how do you talk, ie have personal relationship with, a crowd?

Sunday, September 12, 2004

yes, those of us who see guaranteed disaster if the bush junta continues in it's naive, xenophobic, "know-nothing" efforts to fool around in geographies they are basically ignorant about are pretty glum today.

Saturday, September 11, 2004


now the thing about this picture is that it has passed thru 6 hands over about 40 years. history is sort of scrambled (ain't it always?)

i would go into more detail but i am really suffering through these times. like germany in the late thirties on steroids and digitally enhanced. a lot of my acquaintances seem to be very glum. one thing is that the prospect of 4 more years has so many shadows.
but i think what is even more frustrating is the apparent inability of discourse that includes both worlds.

Wednesday, September 8, 2004


new record. i did picture above in 7.5 minutes.

i've been working on jeff's new life book pretty nonstop for awhile. i didn't know it was flooding outside. they're turning water off.

also know of 3 different gatherings plus innumerable conversations over the last week or so about:

how does one approach the election (outside) without crippling consciousness, awareness (inside)?

Monday, September 6, 2004


from a photo taken on my father's front deck. in arizona.

later today i am going to try and put up the outline of what would once have been called a "manifesto", detailing what is happening with this election. hint: it's never happened before.

Sunday, September 5, 2004


drew this while in the audience waiting for amy goodman to speak friday nite. i had not even heard of her. it was a surprise to me hearing her outline and describe the political and social events we are living thru but not fully conscious of.

she inspired me to step forward and be counted: we are living under a regime that is radically different than any before, and one whose agenda is more profit for the profitable, putting "us" into the category of wage-slaves, deluded and hypnotized by the brand name world.

stop worrying about not talking because of the new taboo against critiquing the state.
disregard the supposed identity of critiquing the war and disrepecting the troops (an old canard dating from the vietnam war).

the bush regime, the new oligarchs, has put a new twist into "the big lie" that hitler used to such great advantage. the regime uses instead public relations, marketing, and small lies repeated endlessly.

we are basically living now in a kremlin-like world, where the "news" is an arm of the rulers (corporate branded world) and must be deciphered like tea leaves. here's two more sources for "the rest of the story": Democracy in Action

Welcome to ZNet

Thursday, September 2, 2004


flip flop.

have you heard about flip-flop?

of course you have.

bread and circuses. group-think. multiple reflective amnesia from moment to moment.

does the moon still prowl at night?

the air is turning into jello, and there's no place left to go. pixelated backdrops, can a stage be circular or a state belong?

Tuesday, August 31, 2004


so you can't read it, who cares. my mornings metaphorical meta-doodle effort.

in my life these days there has been a flurry of questions of how to handle the anger at the republicans, in the context of a spiritual practice. me, i think it's a hard job but someone has to do it. krishna to rama, in it not of it.

Monday, August 30, 2004


drew it last nite, sprinkled magic dust on it this morning.

it's about 11 PM right now, and i wish i could doze off. Interesting gathering at laura's house last evening, not enough time to get to the bottom - or top - of anything, but interesting conversation.

it's of concern for me that in this world conversation and dialog is going the way of analogue, so you have to meet at a certain time and place, kind of like the early christians.

the temenmos, the greek idea of a border, inside of which the day to day world has a different quality.

bertold brecht, or somebody else, said "the worst has already happened." the worst has always already happened. of course in the world of duality so has the best.

don't worry, be happy. roll up your sleeves. accept death not just for you but the entire kosmos.don't do things to accomplish any goal. for that matter don't do things to create the new. just watch them pile up and smile. or get a shotgun. it really doesn't matter.

Sunday, August 29, 2004


back in work marathon mode. i think i will get pdf file of book out tomorrow or next day.

it's funny but when i go on these hypermanic jags i get a lot of additional artwork done too. like the above which is latest in postcards from nowhere series.

but what about (shudder) politics?

are you interested in it? do you have an idea of how the outcome might affect your life?

or is it just too much, too many sliding contexts, meaning everywhere and nowhere, the monkey mind on speed, orwell on steroids and sporting a wireless digicam, blogs hogging bandwidth, there's nothing left to say.

maybe it's time for instinct to take over. do what you do. anything else is something else's dream.

Saturday, August 28, 2004


did this one in a heartbeat, just now. i got up at 4 this morning to take bobby, my neighbor, to the airport.

except the alarm went off at three.

worked on layout for book, about the third day i've been at it.

was to go to shambala dinner tonight, but blood sugar was not cooperating.

working on an oil portrait.

as real as it gets.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

i finally got a handle on how the popular language of political discourse has been, and is, controlled by the neo-conservative bunch. right now we are seeing it in action once again, as weeks roll by and the public discourse of the election continues to take place in small semantic boxes put in place by the neo-conservatives. these boxes are tiny, and any "discussion" that takes place within them are losers for the democrats, no matter what tack they take.

the grand daddy of this strange phenomena is the word "liberal", which became a vehicle for negative feelings some years back. today we have kerry reporting for duty at the democrat convention and several weeks later wasting his time defending his tour of duty in vietnam.

i used to think there was some svengali at work for the neo-conservatives who was morphing language to a state in which discourse was impossible, and public relations, marketing, and branding was all that was left.

yesterday a friend emailed me an article by UC Berkeley professor George Lakoff who shows how conservatives use language to dominate politics. he tells how conservatives use language to dominate politics and sheds some light on the contraction of political discourse. guess what: turns out that money is at the bottom of this development. here's a few quotes:

"Conservatives have spent decades defining their ideas, carefully choosing the language with which to present them, and building an infrastructure to communicate them, says Lakoff.

"The work has paid off: by dictating the terms of national debate, conservatives have put progressives firmly on the defensive.

"Conservatives have spent decades defining their ideas, carefully choosing the language with which to present them, and building an infrastructure to communicate them, says Lakoff.

"...Language always comes with what is called "framing." Every word is defined
relative to a conceptual framework. If you have something like "revolt,"
that implies a population that is being ruled unfairly, or assumes it is
being ruled unfairly, and that they are throwing off their rulers, which
would be considered a good thing. That's a frame.

"If you then add the word "voter" in front of "revolt," you get a metaphorical meaning saying that the voters are the oppressed people, the governor is the oppressive ruler, that they have ousted him and this is a good thing and all things are good now. All of that comes up when you see a headline like "voter revolt" - something that most people read and never

"Why do conservatives appear to be so much better at framing?

"Because they've put billions of dollars into it. Over the last 30 years their think tanks have made a heavy investment in ideas and in language. In 1970, [Supreme Court Justice] Lewis Powell wrote a fateful memo to the National Chamber of Commerce saying that all of our best students are becoming anti-business because of the Vietnam War, and that we needed to do something about it. Powell's agenda included getting wealthy
coservatives to set up professorships, setting up institutes on and off campus where intellectuals would write books from a conservative business perspective, and setting up think tanks. He outlined the whole thing in 1970. They set up the Heritage Foundation in 1973, and the Manhattan Institute after that. [There are many others, including the American Enterprise Institute and the Hoover Institute at Stanford, which date from
the 1940s.]

"And now, as the New York Times Magazine quoted Paul Weyrich, who started the Heritage Foundation, they have 1,500 conservative radio talk show hosts. They have a huge, very good operation, and they understand their own moral system. They understand what unites conservatives, and they understand how to talk about it, and they are constantly updating their research on how best to express their ideas.

"The phrase "Tax relief" began coming out of the White House starting on
the very day of Bush's inauguration. It got picked up by the newspapers as
if it were a neutral term, which it is not. First, you have the frame for
"relief." For there to be relief, there has to be an affliction, an
afflicted party, somebody who administers the relief, and an act in which
you are relieved of the affliction. The reliever is the hero, and anybody
who tries to stop them is the bad guy intent on keeping the affliction
going. So, add "tax" to "relief" and you get a metaphor that taxation is
an affliction, and anybody against relieving this affliction is a villain."

the only way for the dems to break out of this box and escape the tarbaby of republican framed discourse is to jump up a level, stop replying to the innuendos and begin talking about about the framed discourse. and do it in small sound bites.

for instance: if kerry were to say "i did what i felt i had to do during the vietnam years, including serving in the war and later critiquing the policies that created it, not the soldiers fighting it. end of story", it might shut the whole thing down.

there is some hope. i've noticed a feeling floating around that indicates the public is tired of this type of controlled discourse - at last.

I still say let edwards loose. let him, without upstaging kerry, deflate this pseudo language by short quick comments that frame this framing process as an object of discussion, and pointing out the negative effects it creates.

Sunday, August 22, 2004


just spent a classic american sunday, didn't do anything but relax and putter. picture above i started last night during my first visit to the "gray eagle" to hear burrito deluxe.

what it is is a band made up of garth hudson, who looks like a hobbit fresh from the dewy forest, "sneaky pete", who last time i saw him had a cowboy hat on and was playing pedal steel with jerry garcia. he had the air of someone tentively crewling out of rehab. opening act was matt somebody who is from western north carolina and whose songs were dark, hillbilly, funny, but, as he sang "not bitter".

worked a little on the same two paintings i've been tiptoeing around for weeks. vastly improved both, now maybe i can finish them.

i guess kerry is still fumbling around with "flip flop", "sensitive", "war hero, huh?" and various other republican tar babies. why the dems have not learned how to not let the right wing dictate terms of discourse is beyond me.

Saturday, August 21, 2004


lost & found: this a goauche painting i did for a dust jacket - about '79 or '80.

curmudgeon stuff: have you noticed that since the different parts of the world have become aware of each other, how alike the cultural institutions have become? i'm thinking of, say picking up a package at the post office in athens 40 years ago and going into mcdonalds today. endless to and froing, everyone stultified to death.

Thursday, August 19, 2004


just about a perfect day. missed walking this morning but spent the rest of the day catching up on things, health, painting, printing, house-cleaning. i feel like i'm starting to be the light at the end of the tunnel.

[a slight time out.] just turned down going to hear someone play music, can't remember his name. also found out that sneaky pete (think "new riders of the purple sage" and "flying burritto bros.") and garth hudson (the band) are playing at the gray eagle sat so i will go for that. never been to the gray eagle. yet.

curmudgeon mode: one problem in today's life is that first institutions crowded out all human affinity groups, well almost, there are still the street people, the junkies, what the chinese called "the floating life", but mostly by my own middle age the institution was all.

now young and ambitious people want to be an institution, a brand, a commodity. leaves someone like me sidetracked, oblivion express, bring it on.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004


been an exciting few days. walk in the morning going nicely, replacing medications - stolen last week - going. finished a roll of film don't know when the first pictures would have been taken. hope it's the last one i take i'm going digital.

i've always wanted to say that.

saw collateral with j. this afternoon. i didn't know it was directed by michael mann, but guessed it right away. it's a strangely beautiful film, luminescent, gleams, LA all night long. much better than miami vice, highly overated in my opinion. the new film has enigmatic meanings swirling through. that's a pretty good action movie.

Monday, August 16, 2004

dog ate my homework

Sunday, August 15, 2004


things definitely out of hand. i should have emailed that thing i got on fri. the 13th to ten people because things, life, experience, are trending downward and outward, all with no concious effort on my part.

drew the above last night during a visit with a couple of friends.