Tuesday, February 28, 2006

that slow flat winter depression. limbic disturbances. malaise. and now march is upon us, which when i lived high up in the mountains was definitely the hardest month of the year. the winter's were physically very tough there, and by march people began to snap.

there was one winter when march occasioned the suicide of two brothers in their 70's who had lived all their life at the bottom of the road. one of my neighbors, a farmer about a mile down the road was hauled off by the EMS or whatever they called it in those days after apparently drinking a bottle of rubbing alcohol. and the mail lady who live a couple of miles up the road had her husband committed to broughton after he chased her around the kitchen table with a knife. (he was back in 2 weeks.) they were staunch southern baptists and good folks.

there is one personal difference on my part to the end-of-winter doldrums. i just keep on working despite the ennui. paint scribble write, maybe a bit more slowly than i would like, but i don't spend much time staring at the wall.

Sunday, February 26, 2006


from an old photo i must have taken. . . somewhere, sometime.

not this winter, that's for sure.

happy birthday to my nephew jon in phoenix az.

Friday, February 24, 2006

thanx and a tip of the hat to tucker for this - long - piece. read it anyway. print it out. make the onscreen fonts gigantic. you know the drill.


Swami Calls for an Up-Wising
The Evolution Has Begun!

By Swami Beyondananda

For years now, we've been hearing "shift happens," and
wondering when, where and how. Now finally, it looks
as if the shift is about to hit the fan. This is good
news for all those shift fans who've been wondering if
the new age will arrive before old age does. Of
course, if you're looking for signs in the news, you
won't find them. At least, not yet. The news might as
well be called the "olds," because the world still
seems stuck in greedlock, ruled by fossilized fools
fueled by fossil fuels. But I have been receiving
encouraging intelligence reports that say indeed,
humans are becoming more intelligent. Yes, people
everywhere are wising up. And that's great, because we
could sure use an up-wising!

The evolution has begun. But before we see changes in
the old needy-greedy, we humans must change our
consciousness -- and the first step is becoming
conscious of how unconscious we've been. As the saying
goes, the truth shall upset you free, and last year
saw lots of disillusionment. But what better to free
us from the far more dangerous condition of
illusionment? If we want to stop the abuse of power,
the first step is to disabuse ourselves. So, here's
some good news: Despite a massive media impropaganda
machine that feeds the public "babblum" (strained
bullshit made digestible for a simple child's mind),
more and more Americans are reading between the lyins'
and peering behind the Irony Curtain.

In 2005, Americans had to face the sad realization
that the Bush Administration's "pro-life" stance
appears to be limited to the unborn and the
brain-dead. Despite being panned by critics
everywhere, the Iraqi Horror Picture Show continued
its run, as thousands and thousands of born fetuses -
ours and theirs -- lost their right to life. While we
may or may not have saved face by staying there, we
have most definitely lost ass. And we've been assured
we'll be stuck in that morass until -- well, until
there's no more ass to lose. Meanwhile, more and more
Americans reached another sad conclusion: We're not in
Iraq to keep the peace, we're there to keep the

The signs of up-wising are everywhere. Even the most
unpleasant stories are beginning to break through the
soundless barrier and defy the President's "don't ask,
don't tell" policy: "You promise not to ask us what
we're doing, and we promise not to tell you." Although
we've been inundated with "fear-gnomes" and ominously
warned we have to protect ourselves in this
dogma-eat-dogma world, a majority of Americans are no
longer comfortable with the notion that the only way
to defeat the "evil-doers" in the world is to out
evil-do them. Although our President has assured us
that "we don't torture," it is now common knowledge
that we simply send detainees to countries that do
torture when we want them to "testify under oaf."

As for those progressives who've been whining that the
President "never listens" to them, well it turns out
he's been listening all along. And thanks to the
so-called Patriot Act (which, I understand, is about
to be renamed the Eternal Insecurity Act), it looks
like he'll be able to listen in even more -- all in
the name of making us safe. But now even some
Republicans are beginning to see that there's a
difference between protection and the "protection
racket." And with the recent revelations about Tom
DeLay, Jack Abramoff and other gold collar criminals,
some of the more devout conservatives have come to
realize that the "family values" they voted for bear
an uncanny resemblance to Soprano Family values.

If there was any warm feeling in 2005, chalk it up to
climate change. Katrina hit, and in the government's
response we saw a future when at last all Americans
will be equal -- where everyone regardless of race or
creed will be treated like Black folks.

Alarming Policies Have Awakened Millions!

Fortunately this is the State of the Universe Address,
and from a universal perspective, things are humming
along quite nicely. It turns out that the Earth is the
talk of the Universe these days. In fact, the
odds-makers at the Intergalactic Enquirer say the odds
are actually in our favor: "We're betting on the human
race to reach critical mass before they get to
critical massacre." And we could beat the odds, if we
finally gave up our addiction to getting even and got
odd instead. It stands to reason. If each of us used
our unique oddness to improve the odds for everyone,
there would be no need for getting even.

Yes, the up-wising has begun, and intergalactic
observers are saying that we have none other than
George W. Bush to thank. How is that, you may ask?
Well, I am reminded of a story my guru Harry Cohen
Baba used to tell. A well-known minister died and
arrived at the Pearly Gates at the same time as a
cab-driver from New York. The cabbie was ushered in,
but the clergyman was left waiting outside. After
waiting and waiting and waiting, he finally called
over the attending angel. "Excuse me, but I'm a
renowned minister. How come you let that cab-driver
in, and I'm left waiting out here?"
"Well," the angel said, "when you preached, everyone
slept. But when he drove, everyone prayed."

For millennia, spiritual teachers have been calling on
us to go for the highest common denominator, but we've
always seemed to end up with the lowest common
dominator instead. And now, George W. Bush has done
what preachers, teachers and other far-sighted
visionaries have failed to do up until now: His
policies have been so alarming, that he has awakened a
slumbering body politic that slept through all
previous alarms. Where others have failed, he has
people all across the world praying, "God help us!"
And instead of waiting for an intervention from above
-- after all, we cannot expect to be fed intervenously
forever -- people are beginning to help themselves,
and even more importantly, help each other.

Sure, there are still plenty of Not-Sees out there who
insist on not seeing that we humans are all in the
same boat. The good news is, more and more Americans
are getting that sinking feeling that there's only one
Earthship, and ignoring a leak because it's "on the
other side of the boat," is a mistake of titanic

We Are the Leaders We've Been Waiting For

America, the world's only super-power, doesn't need a
revolution. We've already had one, thank you. What is
needed now -- and what has already begun -- is the
American Evolution where enough of us wake up and see
that those two political parties have been partying on
our dime, and we the people haven't been invited. Time
to go beyond choosing the lesser of two weasels. If we
want to evolve the dream of our Founding Fathers --
instead of devolve into the nightmare of Big Brother
-- we must become the leaders we've been waiting for.
I've said it before. The only force more powerful than
a super-power is a Super-Duper Power -- the power of
the people plus the power of love. And anyone who
doesn't believe we are a Super-Duper Power, well they
have been super-duped!

It's true, many people still feel that the affairs of
the world should be left to the bolder and badder
among us. But look what that leaves us with: Are you
satisfied choosing between Saddam Hussein and George
Who's-Not-Sane? Now I know those "God, guns and guts"
Old Testament Christians might have forgotten, but
Jesus did say that the meek shall inherit the earth.
In all undue immodesty, maybe it's time for us meek
folks to boldly step forth and accept our inheritance.

For just as 2000 years ago Jesus stood up to a class
that placed the rule of gold above the Golden Rule,
today we face the modern version of the Pharisees --
the Phallusees, I think they are called. They
cynically cloak themselves in religious robes, but the
only power they trust is the power of the stick. Well,
there's another old saying: It doesn't matter how big
your stick is, if you stick your stick where it
doesn't belong, you're stuck.

Another sign of the up-wising and coming evolution is
that people are growing dissatisfied with the
positionality of "my side vs. your side," and are
seeing the whole issue of sides from a new angle:
Maybe we're all on the same side. For example, this
argument between creationism and evolution is just
another way for dueling dualities to steal our energy.
I believe in both. I believe the Creator created us to
evolve, otherwise Jesus would have said, "Now don't do
a thing till I return." I have it on good authority
that the Creator is pulling for us: "Come on, you
children of God. Time to grow up and become adults of
God instead."

Time to Overgrow the System From the Grassroots Up

The time for revolution and overthrowing has past. Now
we need an evolution where we "overgrow" the current
dysfunctional system from the grassroots up. You are
probably familiar with the story of the Native
American grandfather who tells his grandson that there
are two wolves fighting inside all of us: The wolf of
fear and anger, and the wolf of love and peace.
"Which wolf will win?" asks the young boy.
"Whichever one we feed," replies the grandfather.

And so when people ask me to predict what will happen,
I tell them the only thing I can predict with
certainty is the uncertainty of any prediction. The
future's just too unpredictable these days. This is a
Universe of infinite possibilities, so it all depends
on which futures we invest in.

There is something far more empowerful than
predictions, and that is Tell-A-Vision. If you're fed
up with the current programming, my advice is turn off
your TV and tell a vision instead. That way, we will
have healing and functional visions to step into --
and that beats what we've been stepping into. So I
will tell my vision for 2006: This is the year of the
American Evolution, where all those who prefer the
Golden Rule to the rule of gold get past left and
right, and come front and center.

I see Americans of all political stripes, plaids and
polka dots (not to mention solids), choosing to face
the music and dance together. Sure, we'll have to
learn some new steps, but it's time for a new dance -
A-Bun-Dance. That is where we get up off our assets,
move our buns, and dance together in rhythm and flow.
And what better way to turn the funk into function,
and leave the junk at the junction?

I see us in a new reality show -- Extreme Planetary
Makeover -- where everyone can play and everyone can
win. Just think. Something more compelling than
reality TV .... it's called reality!

I know, I know. Only a crazy person would dare to
propose anything that sane. But maybe it's time to
declare the current institutionalized insanity
illegally insane, and set about building a sane asylum
big enough for all six and a half billion of us. As my
guru Harry Cohen Baba has said, "Life is like a good
deli. Even if something isn't on the menu, if enough
people order it they have to make it." So what kind of
new world order are we ordering up? Do we feed the
wolf of fear and buy into the "it's every man for
himself" story? Or do we nourish the wolf of love and
evolve into the "we're all in it together" story?

If we're going to be a Super-Duper Power, we have to
be super-duper powerful in activating the power of
love, and cultivating the power of joy. So laugh more.
Why not? We all know there's something funny going on.
The wall of lies cannot withstand the vibration of
laughter. All seriousness aside, only a farce field
that combines truth and laughter can bring down the
Irony Curtain once and for all.

Release the old story -- been there, done that -- and
speak the new story into the world. Dare to imagine
what we could be doing if we weren't spending so much
of our livelihood on weapons of deadlihood. Think
about it ... think tanks where they think about
something other than tanks. Young people living for
their country instead of dying for it. Health and
education fully funded, and the Air Force having to
run a bake sale so they can buy a new bomber.

Can we change the course of history? Can we shift our
karma into surpassing gear? I cannot say for sure, but
if we choose to give up that old Dodge and trade it in
for an Evolvo, that's a good first step. So ... let
the Evolution begin. We don't have to wait until the
first Big Shot is fired. If we create a powerful
enough field, the Big Shots will end up firing

May the FARCE -- as always -- be with us.

(c) Copyright 2006 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights
reserved. Find out more about the Swami at
Political humor, political satire, new age humor - Swami Beyondananda

Thursday, February 23, 2006


restored black and white photo of my father's father taken in 1906.

got a bumper sticker phrase i may use:
"be more timeless"

it's still a little wordy.

i remain in a creative rut. not in the usual sense of the phrase. i'm getting a lot done. paying a lot of attention to unfinished creative business, or maybe i should say abanded projects still taking up disk space.

i'm closing pictures, scans, animation, and surprisingly a whole lot of muzak, by that i mean finishing them and putting them out to pasture. very tedious, being doing a little each day. on the other hand i find things that i have forgotten that maybe need to be completed, like the photo above which is from a hundred year old black and white.

plus freeing up enough disk space to do. . . stuff.

other stuff: if it's not one stuff it's another stuff.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

i'm in the penultimate phase of laying out magnum opus whistling in the dark. above is one of the many neo-wingdings i've made to sprinkle thru the pages, along with other visuals.

received the following email yesterday:

"Hey there,
Just wanted to tell you that you are a googlewhack!
The words I used to find your googlewhack were - epicaricacy nether
Have fun!

Googlewhacking: The Search for The One True Googlewhack

i think this made me famous for a nano-second. infamous?

Sunday, February 19, 2006


Kat. my companion since around late last century, '92.

lots of cyber-antics yesterday. including off loading files to CD, ran into a problem where one file, maybe, glitches the write to CD process. will i take care of this problem? who knows.

probably today also, altho that remains to be seen.

i got a walk in around 5 in the evening despite the cold and raw weather.

Friday, February 17, 2006


from my inaugural walk yesterday. taken about 2 blocks from homebase. the photo is helpful to me because it reminds me that i am surrounded by beauty.

i forget this most of the time.

if you're feeling down about the shape of human life today, check this link out; always gratifying for a person like me to realize that others realize.

"The fight for the bottom line: Capitalism is a finished chapter in world history. Not politically, but economically. That is according to Arie de Geus, author of The Living Company, and former head of Shell's Group Planning unit. If today's companies want real success, their leaders must accept the production factor that has replaces capital as the most important - people."
Don't Stop thinking about tomorrow

Thursday, February 16, 2006


today's cryptoscope: looking out the back window of my 86 mazda yurt.

i got out for the first walk of the year around 5-6 this evening.

such a beautiful day. short walk. i'm changing my strategy: short walk every day instead of thinking about going up sunset mountain while i stay locked inside the world of painting, electronic graphics, final mixes of dozens of unfinished music.

so what else is new?

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


example of home-grown wingdings that i am making for forthcoming book whistling in the dark.

spent yesterday in usual mode, multiplexing oil paint, photoshop, flash and constructing a Styrofoam castle. really.

today, among other things i'm going to take a walk downtown if it's the last thing i do. if it is you probably won't see much more of this blog.

it's funny: i can talk to the worldwide net and myself at the same time. i think i need to work a little on listening to both.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


today's cybergram is from a shot i took while visiting him awhile back. we went on a looooooog walk.

gearing up for run to grocery store. i've gotten into some mindset where i'd rather stay home and putter than go anywhere. a little lopsided. i'm debating whether to sign up for any classes for old and in the way at unca. i guess i might continue on with piano.

today besides paint i'll scan photos from old "harry's" book. it'll be a challenge, they are xeroxes.

anything else?

politics: [shudder]:
if something is neither provable nor non-provable, it has been considered conjecture in modern times. now, because of a great many surprising twists and turns in the culture, "facts", particularly in the political arena, are incapable of being known as true or false.

a disturbing trend. thanks and a tip of the hat to karl rowe.

Monday, February 13, 2006


found shot in my computer hovel.

i mean a photographic image i made in my computer hovel.

i heard senator biden on one of the sunday talking head exhibits. he was saying - or i heard - that the only area where the dems score lower in the polls than the junta was "national security", where the republicans still maintain their "all bizness" image and can run a war like a PR campaign, effectively.

what to do about this?

i am going to write biden and suggest:

the republicans in their decadent organizational phase are not capable of effectively running any large enterprise. lack of capability runs thru the last 5 years, communications down, overriding the military and not listening to the, or the CIA or the american people. the initiation of bush's war included not only lying to the american citizenry, but willful, simple-minded ignorance of where they were going and who lived there.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

snow this morning

bob brown died last week.
The Independent: News & Triangles: Features: Bob Brown, activist and inspiration, dies at 72

i hope his passing was gentle. he was part of a world that i encountered for the first time when i left high school and went to chapel hill. for me it was an exhilarating and puzzling time, plopped into an ambiance that seemed more real than any i had experienced before.

Saturday, February 11, 2006


beday card from grandkidz corbin and lyly. it was nice to hear from them.

i don't think i have ever in my life been so snugged in. a combination of season, light, and inner activity just seems to keep rolling and as a consequence:

don't get around much anymore.

big snow didn't make it here.

it may never make it here.

Thursday, February 9, 2006

bodega bay

bodega bay, northern california. my son eric emailed me this after he and his buddies spent what i suspect was a superbowl guys weekend in a rented beach mansion. of course i had to pretty it up, kind of an obsession with me.

here it snowed last night, actually leaving some on the ground.

which is ok with me, i got nowhere to go and a lot of paperwork to catch up with.

blogger seems to have misplaced it's posting preview. and it's spell check. hope they reappear.

replaced the pic below with the pict below. didn't much like it, not sure i like it now.

but it doesn't matter much.

Wednesday, February 8, 2006


cyberdoodle of the day. hey, i'm fine, it's probably something about the human condition.

trip to the doc's today, everything A-OK.

dr. R. paid a surprise visit this afternoon. a real pleasure.

working on an oil pastel on the back of a large antiwar sign. somekind of slippery, white corrugated cardboard. i just went into it with turpinoid.

i've been making final mixes of lots of half-finished muzak. mainly so i can throw out the source files and free up some badly needed room on hard drive.

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

i made several trips this afternoon: drove to the bank, library, home depot, and targets. i've been putting off these errands for weeks. the zeitgeist in these spaces was very topical, capture it in a movie and folks would immediately think "2006" or maybe "1996", but it is unique to our world now.

lost in the deep woods of the merchants of desire.


yep it's my birthday. in the "passed", i distanced myself from my birthday because i never felt part of the chronological sequence. my train had jumped the tracks.

today i feel exactly my age.

bush's war:
Are We Really At War?
maybe not "...because Al Qaeda is a free floating nihilism, not a nation, or even a network. "

Monday, February 6, 2006


photo from jemez mountains i believe.

yes i saw the rolling stones.

they are a rolling monument.

is the world a ghetto? or is it disneyland?


it's disneyland. just stumbled across this link:
Odeo: modern peasant - 01

Sunday, February 5, 2006

working this photo i learned way more than you might guess. i guess.

took it while driving 240 around the north side of downtown. didn't get much. played with it and ran into the famous take out the telephone wires dilemma which i've never had to do in a careful way on high resolution print.

and some other stuff but that was 30 minutes ago so i forget.

blowing ever so little snow outside.

sunday has become clean the house day.

Saturday, February 4, 2006


saw it in my backyard last nite? or was it the living room?

been listening to coasttocoastAM too much.


it's almost 4 in the afternoon. i've successfully stalled all day on grocery shopping. think i'll do it now before it snows.

did it. yum.

now here is a quote from a mystery i am reading:

"the quality of light, the expression on her face,, the whole atmosphere of the dream, tell me it was a communication from her of some kind, though i cannot decipher its meaning. she and i occasionally discussed buddhism. she was a keen meditator herself, and our backgrounds were so similar we often speculated that we had known each other in previous lifetimes, perhaps a great many.. . . only when karma is very favorable do such soul mates succeed in having a full-blooded relationship; after all, that would be the next best thing to enlightenment itself. more often we look out for each other at a distance, like guardian angels."

from bangkok tattoo by john burdett.
Amazon.com: Bangkok Tattoo: Books: John Burdett:
"Burdett does an impressive job of depicting an often romanticized society from the inside out."

Friday, February 3, 2006


from my driver's license i renewed yesterday. no problem passing vision test. i'm good until 2011.

and 2012 is the year that it all flips according to various emerging opinions based on the mayan calendar, the toltek 4 agreements, the harmonic resurgence, and peale's how to make friends and influence people.

by that time my truck will be. . . let's see. . . a quarter century old. so maybe i'll park it and myself and enjoy the celestial searchlights that accompany these epic and startling kosmik changes.

at 11 this morning i get my eyes checked, find out if retinas will last or slowly disintergrate like a painting thrown out in the rain. before that, in other words in 30 minutes i'll hit the grocery store. then maybe (shiver) the mall. i found a coupon from lenscrafters yesterday and phoned them about it. if i bring it by they will knock off some of the price on glasses i got last week.

i'm finishing one oil and starting another, so i suspect a roll coming. i remember david of myrtle beach saying he was doing 5 at a time and that has stuck in my mind as a good way for a maniac to stay out of trouble.

Thursday, February 2, 2006


ummm... my living room on an off day.

ive been reading wisdom of the ennegram by riso and hudson. about the ennegrammatic approach to personality typology. ran across this sentence:

that which is eternal in us experiences the world through our personal experience.

what is maybe eternal in us it seems to me is consciousness, experience, identity. the wilberian kosmos consists of consciousness all the way up and all the way down.

the experience of being "me" is universal and somehow useful to the eternal. remember: the real is that which does not go away, so reality is eternal, outside time.

"me", i'm stuck in time.

but there is a connection between the real and "me". the real experiences my experience, but the reverse is not true.

summary: i see my foot but i am not my foot. something sees "me" but is not me. that something is not only unknown to me, it is unknowable.

the absolute mystery.

Wednesday, February 1, 2006


beautiful day. nothing visual around the house or in my intentions to put up. oops, found a drawing i did over the holidaze. i have no idea who she is or why she is here, but i do have a clue: she's on the subway.

[little did i know the brouhaha this simple statement would result in. emails have been pouring in from far and wide stating in no uncertain terms that she is on an airplane.

ok she's on a southwest jet headed for guam.]

working on 2 watercolors and one oil. also a movie for my old friend in NM but lack of software and suitable hardware is making this project a loooong time coming. i may never get it done.

below i'll put up a page or two from book of pomes i'm working on when the time comes.