Sunday, December 31, 2006

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another day, another image, another lost year.

the "lost year" bit is not as forlorn as it sounds. in many ways 2006 was lost while we were living it.

i lean towards the belief that it is all the same, which means, for instance that a certain new years eve during another life, when i was young and hip and smart, and pulling into grand central station about 5 in the morning new years day, strolling through passed out people some in formal wear, top hats, whatever you call that stuff, into the city of women i knew who knew me, is as lost as last year.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

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today's psychograf indicates that the discussion i heard last nite on the savitch show about why saddam's execution should be on pay-per-view says more about the world we have stumbled into than the execution itself.

Friday, December 29, 2006

yesterday was another day i totally spent in front of computer monitor, finishing revisions to witd (book at top of right sidebar - new and improved) and obsessivly learning live pro 6 which is an eye opener. by the time it was time to go to drinking liberally i was so wiped out i couldn't see staright so i went to bed instead.

in the middle of the night, in that wierd twilight i have come to experience instead of sleep, i heard bits and pieces of coast2coastAM which featured a couple of hours of art bell talking with Graham Hancock, who i have never heard of before. his new book is superstition and the discourse was a pleasant change from talk about ufos and ghosts.

maybe pleasant is not the right word because this was a no holds barred very serious discussion. the book apparently is about today's world: nation state control resulting in the catastrophe we feel around the corner. and the unmanifest world of spirit which has been banished from "reality" of late. some interesting points. one was the author's contention that the creative revolution of 30,000 years ago was probably sparked by plants, for instance mushrooms of the psychoactive kind. a whole lot about terence mckinna. much about why the only hope ishuman conciousness taking a great leap foward or else, and why this can only be done in the personal domain, not the statist brand name scam cililization has become.

below is a pretty fair retort to the email fowarded to me yesterday. i don't know the writer of the origional email nor the reply.




By now you've all seen the Democrats' latest campaign slogan:
>
> * "A New Direction For America -- Vote DEMOCRATIC!" *
>
> Let's analyze this:
>
> The stock market is at a new all-time high and America's 401K's are
> back. A new direction from there means what?
>

The stock market has been on the rise consistently and constantly since
1984, and that reflects changes in regulation and an increase in credit
facilities. Its only major drop since then was in 2001-2004 which one
could blame on the Republicans in office but truly we all know it's
because of the impacts of 9/11. IN ANY CASE, THE STOCK MARKET MOVES THE
WAY INVESTORS CHOOSE, NOT THE GOVERNMENT. FOR THE LAST 23 YEARS THAT
HAS BEEN UP.


>
> Unemployment is at 25 year lows. A new direction from there means what?
>

The same forces that cause an up market (see first answer) mean that
those companies hire people, which means that (no surprise here)
unemployment IS at a 25 year low BECAUSE it continues to drop annually
without regard to who is in office. It's driven by there being JOBS
which are a direct result of a successful economy which in the last two
decades is a function of increased credit facilities so companies can
spend money they don't have developing products and services they sell
to people who don't have money.

>
> Oil prices are plummeting. A new direction from there means what?
>

Oil prices are going up. They are AT AN ALL TIME HIGH and expected to
rise depending on how the Iran situation is handled. A new direction
from going up is "going down" but again, this is YET ANOTHER FACTOR
which is hardly influenced by which Democrat is in Congress.

>
> Taxes are at 20 year lows. A new direction from there means what?
>

Who makes up this stuff? Taxes are not at 20 year lows or any other
lows. They are at the same levels since the last big raise -- during
George HW Bush's reign. (He was a "conservative".) Republicans had the
opportunity to lower or eliminate estate and other taxes and didn't.
Taxes have not changed. Sorry.

>
> Federal tax revenues are at all-time highs. A new direction from there
> means what?
>

Federal Tax Revenues are a direct function of the REALLY HIGH TAX RATES
and the LOW RATE OF UNEMPLOYMENT. You see, if you have LOTS OF PEOPLE
WORKING and you charge them A LOT OF TAXES your Federal tax revenues are
at a high. To suggest that somehow tax rates got lowered and yet tax
revenues are at an all time high is to continue to make up nonfacts. Sorry.

>
> The Federal deficit is down almost 50%, just as predicted over last
> year. A new direction from there means what?
>

The Federal defecit is at an all time high led by over $200B spent on
the Iraq conflict. It's not "just as predicted last year" or in any
other time. It's incredibly high. The national debt is at an all time
high as well.

>
> Home valuations are up 200% over the past 3.5 years. A new direction
> from there means what?
>

We already talked about unemployment being low and the market being up.
These factors cause inflation. Inflation is what makes prices go up.
THIS IS why the Fed raised interest rates 7+ times in the last year. To
compensate, CORRECT, and FIX the crap that is happenning in our economy.

This point "Home valuations" is a nice way to spin "Half as many people
can now afford a home."

>
> Inflation is in check, hovering at 20 year lows. A new direction from
> there means what?
>

Nope. It's not. I'm too tired to explain why so just see raw data at
http://inflationdata.com/inflation/Inflation_Rate/Inflation_trends.asp

>
> Not a single terrorist attack on US soil since 9/11/01. A new direction
> from there means what?
>

This is a non sequitur. It's like saying "Everyone breaths AIR, A new
direction from there means what?" Nobody's suggesting creating
Terrorist attacks on US soil or stopping the breathing of air. The
original statement when taken in context means "We'll do a new direction
from all the BAD STUFF the Republicans represent... like corrupt gay
page-butt-fucking pork-barrel-politics $200B Iraq-loving
no-Osama-finding losers." BTW, more American Boys have been killed in
Iraq (thanks, Republicans) than in the 9/11 attack.

> Osama bin Laden is living under a rock in a dark cave, having not
> surfaced in years, if he's alive at all, while 95% of Al Queda's top
> dogs are either dead or in custody, cooperating with US Intel. A new
> direction from there means what?
>

Uh, Osama HAS SURFACED and made SEVERAL appearances, SEVERAL videotapes,
and SEVERAL audiotapes. His "dark cave" can't be all that dark because
his white robes are whiter than most Americans' bleached T-shirrts. Al
Qaeda has no "U" in it, and they're not cooperating with US Intel ( a
chip manufacturer) or US intel (short form of US military intelligence
apparatus)-- according to the CIA they've had no new intel on Al Qaeda
in over two years. Quote: "The trail is cold." A new direction from
there means getting some good intel.

>
> Several major terrorist attacks already thwarted by US and British
> Intel, including the recent planned attack involving 10 Jumbo Jets being
> exploded in mid-air over major US cities in order to celebrate the
> anniversary of the 9/11/01 attacks A new direction from there means
> what?
>

Again, a non-sequitur. Nobody has said that we all stop at red lights
and go at green lights and WE'LL DO A NEW DIRECTION so that gets
flipped. Nobody said any regime would encourage more terrorism. This
is a poor and immature way to attempt to make a point without having one.

>
> Just as Bush had planned and foretold us of on a number of occasions,
> Iraq was to be made "ground zero" for the war on terrorism -- and just
>

Yes, unfortunately Osama is in Afghanistan, and his recently captured
aide is in Afghanistan, and the Al Qaeda guys are in Afghanistan, so
it's great that Bush makes Iraq "ground zero" because that's what he's
accomplished there -- zero.

>
> as Bush said they would, terrorist cells from all over the region are
> alighting the shadows of their hiding places and flooding into Iraq in
> order to get their faces blown off by US Marines rather than boarding
> planes and heading to the United States to wage war on us here.
>

Perhaps someone doesn't understand global politics. There are so many
things wrong with one:
1. Bush didn't say they would
2. The word "alighting" doesn't mean what you think it means
3. The US Marines are the ones getting their faces blown off -- some
right on Al Jazeera
4. This isn't INSTEAD of boarding places to head to the US, this is in
addition to plotting against the US

>
> A new
> direction from there means what?
>

Hopefully an end to these biased, immature, anti-analytical false-logic
emails that make an ass of the sender and appeal to the Rush and Savitch
audiences but don't actually contain facts of anything useful. An
America divided is not an America United, and it's this kind of CRAP
that is divisive and stupid.

>
> Moreover, bear in mind that all of the above occurred in the face of the
> 1999 tech crash,
>

There was no 1999 tech crash. There was a mid 2000 devaulation of
Internet stocks led by Merryll Lynch analyst Joseph Abbie Hoffman. This
has no relevance to ANYTHING since the 20 year trends and 25 year trends
and the Inflation trends all show a dip but then the continue what
THEY'VE ALWAYS BEEN DOING.

>
> the epidemic of corporate scandals throughout the 90's,
>

Once again the author is confused. Which corporate scandals? Enron?
Not the 1990s. Worldcom and Bernie Ebbers? Not the 90s. The stuff
that led to Sarbanes-Oxley? Not the 90s. What was the point of the
bringing up of this "epidemic" that didn't exist, never occurred, and
the individual unrelated incidents were not in the 90s?

>
> and the 9/11/01 terrorist attacks on NYC years in the planning which
> collectively sucked 24 trillions dollars and 7.8 million jobs out of the
> US economy even before G.W. Bush had time to unpack his suitcases in the
> White House.
>

George bush was elected and took office in 2000. He was in office and
HAD RECEIVED WARNINGS about these events. Trying to deflect
responsibility for his stuff... well he proved AFTERWARDS his inabilty
to go after the terrorists (Afghanistan) and his obsession with
completing Dad's work in Iraq. Still ---
if it sucked 7.8 million jobs, how could the guy say in the beginning of
the note that unemployment is at an all time low? WHich is it?
if it sucked 24T dollars out of the economy why is there no such
reference in any publication, and how could this suckage occur AND YET
the market continues its trend and INFLATION continues its trend and
HOME VALUES continue their trend. Answer: the "facts" in the above
paragraph are pure hogwash.

>
> It's easy for the Democrats to attempt to discredit, disgrace and defame
> our commander in chief, George W. Bush -- that's what they do. What's
> not so easy for them to do is to refute irrefutable facts, no matter how
> they might try.
>

Right. You can't refute irrefutable facts. You can refute the bullshit
above.

>
> Do yourself and this country of ours a favor and don't be a mindless
> sheep or a blind liberal lap dog, bent on hate and blame-shifting simply
> in the name of hate and blame-shifting. Take heed of reality, use your
> head and cast your vote wisely in the upcoming elections. The stakes
> are far too high today, as America's very future, and yes, even its very
> survival is now at stake.
>

Do yourself a favor and don't be a mindless re-mailer of non-facts,
half-truths, twisted reduction-ad-absurdiums, as well as just plain lies.

Do yourself a favor. Don't be a DIVIDER, be a JOINER, and share this
message withthose people you "blessed" with your previous note.

>
> God bless America.
>

To he who sent this to you: Welcome to America. God does not bless
liars, hypocrites, and idiots. Try not to be one.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

DSC04459AZLEAF.jpg

foto from phoenix.

i got this forwarded to me this morning. it exemplifies the brand name conditioned logo thought that dominates political discourse today. what do you think?


"This is one that resonates. Please send it to everyone that you know.

By now you've all seen the Democrats' latest campaign slogan:

* "A New Direction For America -- Vote DEMOCRATIC!" *

Let's analyze this:

The stock market is at a new all-time high and America's 401K's are
back. A new direction from there means what?

Unemployment is at 25 year lows. A new direction from there means what?

Oil prices are plummeting. A new direction from there means what?

Taxes are at 20 year lows. A new direction from there means what?

Feeral tax revenues are at all-time highs. A new direction from there
means what?

The Federal deficit is down almost 50%, just as predicted over last
year. A new direction from there means what?

Home valuations are up 200% over the past 3.5 years. A new direction
from there means what?

Inflation is in check, hovering at 20 year lows. A new direction from
there means what?

Not a single terrorist attack on US soil since 9/11/01. A new direction
from there means what?

Osama bin Laden is living under a rock in a dark cave, having not
surfaced in years, if he's alive at all, while 95% of Al Queda's top
dogs are either dead or in custody, cooperating with US Intel. A new
direction from there means what?

Several major terrorist attacks already thwarted by US and British
Intel, including the recent planned attack involving 10 Jumbo Jets being
exploded in mid-air over major US cities in order to celebrate the
anniversary of the 9/11/01 attacks A new direction from there means
what?

Just as Bush had planned and foretold us of on a number of occasions,
Iraq was to be made "ground zero" for the war on terrorism -- and just
as Bush said they would, terrorist cells from all over the region are
alighting the shadows of their hiding places and flooding into Iraq in
order to get their faces blown off by US Marines rather than boarding
planes and heading to the United States to wage war on us here. A new
direction from there means what?

Moreover, bear in mind that all of the above occurred in the face of the
1999 tech crash, the epidemic of corporate scandals throughout the 90's,
and the 9/11/01 terrorist attacks on NYC years in the planning which
collectively sucked 24 trillions dollars and 7.8 million jobs out of the
US economy even before G.W. Bush had time to unpack his suitcases in the White House.

It's easy for the Democrats to attempt to discredit, disgrace and defame
our commander in chief, George W. Bush -- that's what they do. What's
not so easy for them to do is to refute irrefutable facts, no matter how they might try.

Do yourself and this country of ours a favor and don't be a mindless
sheep or a blind liberal lap dog, bent on hate and blame-shifting simply
in the name of hate and blame-shifting. Take heed of reality, use your
head and cast your vote wisely in the upcoming elections. The stakes
are far too high today, as America's very future, and yes, even its very survival is now at stake.

God bless America

Monday, December 25, 2006

DSC05576natscreen.jpg

my grandaughter natalie looking down the line. what do you suppose she sees?

i visited my posts from christmas es past.

from 2001:

woven wonder
delightful heart
simple enough: only start
complex beauty
accelerates pain
like the sky jewel
accepts the rain
it is nothing
converse with care
mind images dancing
written in air


2002:


well i'm not running and i'm not hiding but it's not christmas anymore. i guess cause it's the day after in 30 minutes.

no resolutions - i already (didn't) do them.

i guess i guess that i will pay more attention to focus in the next year, or maybe focus on attention more.

That's if nothing comes up to distract me, like the world and stuff.

which world? why, all of them. so far.

2003:

day after xmas. posting so vast throngs of modernpeasants out there - or here - know i'm all right and it's all good.

beautiful drive down the mountains yesterday, saw everything with new eyes so to speak.

spent yesterday and last night at eli & melissa's, good company, everything moves slow and clear enough to be just what it is, and it is a blessing. good times.

2004:



i'll be under my bed till the dust clears.




2005:



the last day of the year. i get flashes of ancestors huddled in caves dreaming while the icepack outside decides to fade away. hibernation heebie-jeebies.

i don't think I've posted the image above before, but it is a rubbing taken from les oiseux qui rit neanderthal cave complex high in the mountains between france and spain.

but that's another story.

here is another one. lately it has been running in and out of my mind from time to time so i read it this morning:

September 1, 1939

I sit in one of the dives
On Fifty-second Street
Uncertain and afraid
As the clever hopes expire
Of a low dishonest decade:
Waves of anger and fear
Circulate over the bright
And darkened lands of the earth,
Obsessing our private lives;
The unmentionable odour of death
Offends the September night.
Accurate scholarship can
Unearth the whole offence
From Luther until now
That has driven a culture mad,
Find what occurred at Linz
What huge imago made
A psychopathic god:
I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return.

Exiled Thucydides knew
All that a speech can say
About Democracy,
And what dictators do,
The elderly rubbish they talk
To an apathetic grave;
Analysed all in his book,
The enlightenment driven away,
The habit-forming pain,
Mismanagement and grief:
We must suffer them all again.

Into this neutral air
Where blind skyskrapers use
Their full height to proclaim
The strength of Collective Man,
Each language pours its vain
Competitive excuse:
But who can live for long
In an euphoric dream;
Out of the mirror they stare,
Imperialism's face
And the international wrong.

Faces along the bar
Cling to their average day:
The lights must never go out,
The music must always play,
All the conventions conspire
To make this fort assume
The furniture of home;
Lest we should see where we are,
Lost in a haunted wood,
Children afraid of the night
Who have never been happy or good.

The windiest militant trash
Important Persons shout
Is not so crude as our wish:
What mad Nijinsky wrote
About Diaghilev
Is true of the normal heart;
For the error bred in the bone
Of each woman and each man
Craves what it cannot have,
Not universal love
But to be loved alone.

From the conservative dark
Into the ethical life
The dense commuters come,
Repeating their morning vow;
'I will be true to the wife,
I'll concentrate more on my work,'
And helpless governors wake
To resume their compulsory game:
Who can release them now,
Who can reach the deaf,
Who can speak for the dumb?

All I have is a voice
To undo the folded lie,
The romantic lie in the brain
Of the sensual man-in-the-street
And the lie of Authority
Whose buildings grope the sky:
There is no such thing as the State
And no one exists alone;
Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police;
We must love one another or die.

Defenceless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light
Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages:
May I, composed like them
Of Eros and of dust,
Beleaguered by the same
Negation and despair,
Show an affirming flame.

W.H. Auden

Sunday, December 24, 2006

nicole got off, heading east. should arrive about five.

another beautiful day. we took a short walk to the store.

a flurry of unfocus this morning as i rushed to print this and that for nicole to take with her, presents for my children and grandchildren.

long ago, when i was exiled to arizona, i either made a concious deciscion (which i doubt) or found myself giving xmas presents that i had made, not bought. i've been doing this for a longtime now, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

so this christmas seems very easy, very light weight. tomorrow i think i'll drive up to the parkway.

jigsaw.jpg

dou you, as i, feel that in a few days a release will happen? something to do with the circle of the year, the solstice, and, to use a phrase once familiar to many, the ruins of circular time.

Friday, December 22, 2006

x5x10.jpg

Thursday, December 21, 2006

DSC05804tomm.jpg

solstice? winter?

don't know but i remain fascinated by this image which i keep playing with.

a few days before xmas and i have yet to turn on heat. i guess i did use it a couple of evenings awhile back, but not for some time now.

so is the weather changing? of course. that's what it does.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

K2.jpg

a kerouac doodle. totally out of ideas today. thank goodness.

if i could play the guitar like hooker, the piano like bud powell or teddy wilson, paint like kandinski, and sit like ramana maharishi, what deserted train station would i be stranded at around midnight? how many trains would arrive suddenly? would somebody be selling oranges out of a basket when they arrive?

would waves of insect chorus cascade thru the 100 watt bulb illumination?

and would maps be freely available and if so, why?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

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yesterday: cleared out closets, turned one into storage space for large useless objects, like midi keyboard hard case, boxes of photos etc. Rearranged computer room, recabled everything placing cables out of way, taped labels on in and outs. archived many photos, sent a few more xmas cards, dropped laundry off in leicester, stopped at pharmacy to pick up too many meds. today calls for another trip to leicester to pick up laundry, stop at staples for 2 color ink cartridges, finish shuffling objects, clean kitchen and bath, continue watercolor i started last night.

isn't life exciting?

Sunday, December 17, 2006

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weird photo taken in the dark. i am going to turn this blog into a "one a day" foto/ art/ music blog so look out for changes.

i'm feeling more and more at home with solitude. time for a change? at home with that too.

the body is our only home. and the soul contains the body.

this from book i mentioned yesterday.

i could not publish this post - blogger acting funny i don't know why - so i'm adding to it. it's now early monday morning. had a huge day yesterday moving large physical objects around, sorting thru data disks, gouping labeling etc. today i have to continue. i figure it's a four day job. working, you understand, slowly and unsteadily as is my present custom.

meanwhile in and out of new music set-up, unsnarling cables etc.

visited t and kim briefly, let the dust settle here.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

dec15wc06.jpg

hmmm... finished this watercolor last night. too blue on my monitor.

ready for giant cleanup tomorrow.

i have been tied up for the last ten days or so with a new configuration of electronic modules, all winking and blinking at me as if crying out "fix me! make me work!", which hasn't quite happened yet.

the way it looks to me there is a certain time that arrives when you can organize what you've done or assist creative novelty into the world and oneself and let it organize itself.

Friday, December 15, 2006

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another cyberdoodle, this one taken on the last leg home from the exotic west. it was taken in NC on hwy 40 heading east towards aville. interesting how it seems to drag the western sunset along with it.

the book i'm reading now - in short brief bursts, which seems to be the way i have come to read - marshall macluhan redux - is Anam Cara -- A Book of Celtic Wisdom (with a dot over the "c") by john o'donohue. i like it very much, despite the blurb on the cover by deepak chopra, mostly because of the frequent sentences that float by reflecting some sort of deep resonance with... what? something that has meaning, but no meaning i can describe. a few examples grabbed at random:

"the year is a circle."

"the body is your only home in the universe."

"in the human face, the anonymity of the universe becomes intimate."

"part of the wisdom of spiritual soulful self-presence is to be able to let certain aspects of your life alone. this is the art of spiritual noninterference."

"... silence is one of the great victims of modern culture. we live in an intense and visually aggressive age; everything is drawn outwards toward the sensation of image... with the continued netting of everything, chosen images can immediately attain universality."

Thursday, December 14, 2006

DSC05455E.jpg

yesterday was a thought provoking one. going thru my mail i found something that resulted in a quick visit to the county social services. something affecting medicare. when i got there i was in a different world than the branded secular commercial world we "live" in. nobody in the building was "pretty" or healthy in the manner of the neon world.

but there was quiet conversation and no problem with any "negative" attitudes.

got home and completely enmeshed in reconfiguring what is turning out to be a multi-media production rig. step by step, got it up and running by 7pm.


time to go to "drinking liberally" asheville style.

arrived about 8. lots folks crowding bar, nonone i knew. so young, so colorful and bright. i walked to another place where i thought DL homebase might have been changed to during my absence. same deal, so i drove back home.

was i angry? no. it was a good if pointless outing. perhaps i should say "good because pointless.

anyway, back in my domestic module i booted up computer and noticed it was wednesday, not thursday. i was a day early.

so i'll go tonight: hope i'm not a day late.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

stamp.jpg

taken out front door night before last.

got a lot done yesterday but i don't exactly remember what.

as someone once said, my nightlife is killing my daylife.

but for entirely different reasons.

my need for white noise when i sleep has been a constant for most of my life and been supplied at times by 1) an ocean; 2) wind in the pines AKA high lonesome; 3) a.m. radioland turned down low; 4) fan.

lately it's been the radio, and it has taken on an isolated dark tone. pieces of our world unraveling:

no fish in the ocean in 40 years
no ice in the artic summers
intersection of critters: west nile, aids, malaria, other surprises
syntax replaced by proximity
neon light replacing the stars
organizations of all kinds becoming paradies of themselves
meaningless sex a la mode
daily running amuck; ie someone with a weapon in a public space

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

bark.jpg


listened to a coast2coast rerun last night. subject: the contemporary proliferation of evil. a metaphysical question. opinions, thoughtful and wacky.

back in the days when the web or something like it was dimly visible over the horizon, there was a feeling that information and communication would be instantly available to all; now that now is here, it is interesting to take note of what words are becoming. who would have thought emails would sling all over the cyberworld words like these that i recieved yesterday?

"garibaldi taken palindromic paintbrush scab algaecide dream special devil . , slip detriment lenten barber jackpot rebelled coriander washout homosexual winifred injustice bate cytosine corey sheave durance signpost severalty graven meritorious carbonic . may in ridiculous pond convair alike ginkgo archival botch augustan imperil divisor steam merriment bridgewater shrank gastronomy glassine it."

shades of william burroughs.

Monday, December 11, 2006


whatever. pic taken from hospital roomette window where fiend is temporarily lodged. talked to nicole yesterday who is coming up for brief visit to old collage reunion friends. is it next weekend?

MORE


found a thing out. festina lente, a saying i am fond of, and a possible cure for many of today's dilemmas, was used by manutius, as the "colophon" for the first book publishing house.

Festina lente (said Aldus Manutius)

did i find this out by industrially combing the web for information?

no, i found it out by eating breakfast. one of my many habits is to browse (not read) a book while i eat and i grabbed a copy of the discoverers by boorstein.

browsing and puttering are my modes.

Saturday, December 9, 2006

DSC05602E.jpg


seems like i'm out of everything daily maintenance-wise: stamps, glasses, furry hat for cold, gas cap, prefrontal cortex, you know, the usual. then again i know they are not lost, i just can't put my hands on them.

picture above: one treatment of granddaughter lily whirling like a dervish. probably will skip source of these psychodoodles in the future because thery are just words that interfere with just image. still the early morning image i pull out of a hat each morning is the only healthy addiction i have at present so it's a present.

Friday, December 8, 2006

DSC05558E.jpg

yet another travelogue pic, this one from eli & melissa's yard in chatham county.

no or very little sleep last night which is not that unusual. what is unusual is i was up and active until 3 AM. fooling with routers and organizing paints. started a watercolor which is going to be my main preoccupation for awhile.

i'm not planning, just doing.

but what i really want to talk about is billie holiday and bob dylan. they both have something in common besides being discovered by john hammond sr.

there is a piece of vintage film i have seen several times. filmed in late 30's? black and white footage of lady day singing with a small group, believe ben webster is on sax.

billie's face is the center of interest. flickers of dreams light up her face as with eyes closed she "plays" with the group. the slightest subtle changes illuminate what she is doing, all in all ultracommunication with the players and the music. the subtlety and restraint makes her contribution that much more intense.



this might not be the footage i remember - or think i remember - but it is the same session, i recall gerry mulligan and webster, but not the flash you see of lester young. if i can find the footage i have in mind i'll put it up, but this ain't bad.

dylan's last cd modern times deluxe features a bonus dvd (first one i ever owned). the last of 4 cuts is a video of him and band playing cold irons bound. the intensity, grace, focus and total collaboration with the music and band is unmistakable even though offhand and possibly too microscopic to observe, altho i think it hits me in the face as billie's footage does.

both of these recorded moments are in another league from "music videos". they are as close to manifesting the soul or spirit as any footage i have ever witnessed, and i use the term advisedly.

Thursday, December 7, 2006

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photo taken in the middle of the sonoran desert. honest.

idiogrammatically it reads duck not in a row.

i am really slopping around now, bouncing from one task to another and accomplishing not much.

so today must be, has to be, there is no other option: kleenup day.

during which i hope to find: missing library book; steel slide for dobro; many pages scattered here and there of notes about something or another; strips and lancet device for glucose meter; laundry - coming (clean) and going (wash) - and small bag of false teeth accoutrements.

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

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yet another photo from phoenix. along a canal, water.

doctor's appt at 12 today. lots of loose ends to do, bills, banks, library.

i came back with notion to spend no more than 30 minutes a day recording and mixing audio and painting the rest of the day. so far, mostly because i totally took apart audio recodring software and hardware, it's been the reverse. but i am

getting it together.

ran across this just a moment ago from t's blog. i am assuming rod brezney wrote it. whoever did, amen.

"
PRAYER FOR YOU

by Rob Brezsney

This is a perfect moment. It's a perfect moment because I have been
inspired to say a gigantic prayer. I've been roused to unleash a divinely
greedy, apocalyptically healing prayer for each and every one of you—
even those of you who don't believe in the power of prayer.

And so I am starting to pray right now to the God of Gods … the God
beyond all Gods … the Girlfriend of God … the Teacher of God … the
Goddess who invented God.


DEAR GODDESS, you who never kill but only change:

I pray that my exuberant, suave, and accidental words will move you to
shower ferocious blessings down on everyone who reads this benediction.

I pray that you will give them what they don't even know they need—not
just the boons they think they want but everything they've always been
afraid to even imagine or ask for.


DEAR GODDESS, you wealthy anarchist burning heaven to the ground:

Many of the divine chameleons out there don't even know that their souls
will live forever.

So please use your brash magic to help them see that they are all wildly
creative geniuses too big for their own personalities.

Guide them to realize that they are all completely different from what
they've been led to believe about themselves, and more exciting than
they can possibly imagine.

Make it illegal, immoral, irrelevant, unpatriotic, and totally tasteless for
them to be in love with anyone or anything that's no good for them.


O GODDESS, you who give us so much love and pain mixed together that
our morality is always on the verge of collapsing:

I beg you to cast a boisterous love spell that will nullify all the dumb
ideas, bad decisions, and nasty conditioning that have ever cursed the
wise and sexy virtuosos out there.

Remove, banish, annihilate, and laugh into oblivion any jinx that has clung
to them, no matter how long they've suffered from it, and even if they
have become accustomed or addicted to its ugly companionship.

Please conjure an aura of protection around them so that they will receive
an early warning if they are ever about to act in such a way as to bring
another hex or plague into their lives in the future.


DEAR GODDESS, sweet Goddess, you sly universal virus with no freaking
opinion:

Please help all the personal growth addicts out there to become
disciplined enough to go crazy in the name of creation, not destruction.

Teach them the difference between oppressive self-control and liberating
self-control.

Awaken in them the power to do the half-right thing when it is impossible
to do the totally right thing.

Arouse the Wild Woman within them—even if they're men.


DEAR GODDESS, you pregnant slut who scorns all mediocre longing:

I pray that you will inspire all the compassionate rascals communing with
this prayer to kick their own asses and wash their own brains.

Provoke them to throw away or give away all the things they own that
encourage them to believe that they are better than anyone else.

Show them how much fun it is to brag about what they cannot do and do
not have.

Give them bigger, better, more original sins and wilder, wetter, more
interesting problems.

Most of all, Goddess, brainwash them with your freedom so that they
never love their own pain more than anyone else's pain.


O GODDESS, you wildly disciplined, radically curious, shockingly friendly,
fanatically balanced, mysteriously truthful, teasingly healing, lyrically
logical master of rowdy bliss:

Cultivate in yourself a fervent yearning for the intimate companionship of
these budding messiahs. Play with them every day. Answer their
questions. Listen to their stories. Inspire them to love you so much they
lose all their hatred forever.


DEAR GODDESS, you psychedelic mushroom cloud at the center of all our
brains:

Bless the insanely poised creators out there with lucid dreams while they
are wide awake. Provide them with their own spin doctors, and vacuum
cleaners for their magic carpets, and solar-powered sex toys that work
even in the dark.

Give them a knack for avoiding other people's hells, and a thousand masks
that all represent their true feelings, and secret admirers who are not
psychotic stalkers.

Arrange for a racehorse to be named after them, or an underground river,
or a thousand-year-old storm on Saturn.

Teach them to be their own prophets and pray to themselves and right
their own wrongs and sing their own songs and be their own wives and
save their own lives.


DEAR GODDESS, you riotously tender, hauntingly reassuring, orgiastically
sacred feeling that is even now running through all of our soft, warm
animal bodies:

I pray that you provide all the original sinners out there with a license to
bend and even break all rules, laws, and traditions that keep them apart
from the things they love.

Show them how to purge the wishy-washy wishes that distract them from
their daring, dramatic, divine desires.

And teach them that they can have anything they want if they'll only ask
for it in an unselfish way.


And now dear God of Gods, God beyond all Gods, Girlfriend of God,
Teacher of God, Goddess who invented God, I bring this prayer to a close,
trusting that in these mysterious moments you have begun to change
everyone out there in the exact way they've needed to change in order to
become the gorgeous geniuses they were born to be. Amen. Awomen.


P.S. Goddess: And please also give them each an emerald green
parachute, ruby slippers, a canoe covered with jewels, a black-market
orchid and a bouquet of organic broccoli, a donkey clown piƱata full of
crickets, a protective gargoyle lifted from the Chartres Cathedral, a guitar
string actually played by Jimi Hendrix, a strawberry chocolate cake baked
in the shape of a question mark, a human DNA map drawn up by the
Human Genome Project, fistfuls of sparklers, a bottle of holy water from
the River Jordan, photos of lightning on a giant poster, a refrigerator
magnet cast in the likeness of the Dalai Lama, and the key of life
accidentally placed insid e a box of Cracker Jack."
cross-posted from http://eyesinthepine.zaadz.com/blog".

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

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the night journey. taken sat while driving home. enhanced by pshop.

dark, huh?

been installing and organizing apps and files on computers. and clearing the decks of domestic logjam. have much to do today, beginning significantly enough with putting out the garbage which i have to do right now before the weekly roar of the truck approaches.

the next few weeks will take a lot of balance on my part. not my strong suit.

Monday, December 4, 2006


yet another image from my last voyage out west. met him at a cowboy bar in barstow ca. he stole my boots.

Sunday, December 3, 2006


back. from. long. trip.

i'll write about it in a few days.

because i'm just not into verbal discrirtion nowdays.

but it was a good trip, renewel of ancient friendships, the slow tilt of the kosmos showing on every face, and the invisible luminosity of grace peeking thru.

meanwhile a picture i took on the last leg back, sat twilight of hwy 40.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

dad is on his way to prescott, fred is helping neice anne find a cat, i'm struggling with windoze. going to try a kwik watercolor to give to kendra, nephew jon's new wife, for her birthday tommorow.

everyone but me went to see borat yesterday. universal thumbs down. i stayed here and took fotos in the dark.

plan: fly to nc monday and take a deep breathe.

Friday, November 24, 2006

yesterday was pleasant holiday for me, stuck close to sister jane's, traditional holiday fare, struggled all day with elevated blood sugar, finally changed out everything on pump and got straight about bed time (9 pm for this old soul i mean man).

for the first time in my life i am maybe appreciatting the weather in phoenix. beautiful skies. before, when i would be here in the cool months it always felt tepid, i missed the snap of cold weather.

funny thing: since i have been here i have begun dreaming again. i have not experienced any dreams for fifteen years or so, don't know why, maybe meds, but i kind of miss them. i was a great dreamer in my youth and still remember some of the big dreams i had.

in prescott last week i slowly realized i was dreaming - at night - again. last night i dreamed my daughter nicole had become a rock and roll diva and i was in and out of strange subcultural crowds looking for her.

how nice to have a surprise cruise thru the kosmos each night.

going for hike in an hour, lasts an hour and a half, never sure how i'll do on these outings, but one thing for sure: i'll keep walking until i stop.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

it's thxgiving day in arizona and i'm pecking away on my sister's pc. spent a week or so with my dad in prescott which is a mile high in the mountains and enjoyed it. for some reason i found it much easier to take daily 30 - 60 minute walk there than aville which is a great town to stroll in but one in which for some strange reason i feel hemmed in by the houses. maybe a little of the desert rat in me emerging.

i read the arizona weekly tabloid last night, equivaent to mountain xpress in aville. but very different. new times. i had a friend once long ago when i was exiled to phoenix who was the art editor. anyway reading it from my present perspective as curmudgeon hick, it was so trashy i couldn't stand it. every page either woman with few clothes or scads of electronic gee-gaws for sale or both.

it got me to thinking: during my so called adult life i've lived a lot of places, and only two were cities that i appreciatted: athens greece (but not in the summer) and denver colorado (but not today). maybe throw in boulder in the 60's.

now that there are so few places left that are not cities of one sort or another, what to do?

when i figure it out i won't let you know. but don't worry: i won't figure it or anything else out.

got one watercolor done last week and a bunch of photos. finally read the manual and discovered some capabilities that i was unaware of.

so iv'e got 4 days left in phoenix before i fly home monday. might paint, like to take some hikes i never took when i lived here, maybe upload a picture or two. thinking about my annual xmas card which i will not have long to do when i get back. there is a piano here so i'll squeeze in some playing, i've been pretty good about 30 - 60 minutes practice the last year.

what a relief to blog again. i guess i'm addicted.

more later.

Friday, November 17, 2006

i guess my post of a couple of days ago took. it's friday, i'm getting a few things organized, painting a picture and taking lots of digital photos. i brought along some manuals i have never had the time or energy to read, one for camera, one for insulin pump, and one for emergency cell fone i bought after truck stranded me outside of aville a couple of months ago. going to wonder down to whisky row in a few minutes to look at a gallery eric and i missed the other day. otherwise just sort of... slowing up - or down - which is a good thing. a rock for t is looking for me but it hasn't found me yet. i'll be leaving for phoenix wednesday, turkey day at mi hermosa, maybe a trip to tuscon to see aunt rosemary, maybe a trip to imax theatre. oh, and i'm reading absolute friends by john la carre, published in 2005. not his best work, in fact it's pretty weird. course i'm only halfway through it. later.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

in prescott az at the library. the rehersal dinner for wedding was friday evening at a place called hermosa inn - or something similar - an adobe ranch in paradise vally which really felt very far away from the megalopolis called phoenix. paradise valley is an up up upscale area and known for very few lights, so it has the dark night air i appreciate so much.

the wedding of my nephew jon and kendra was sat. at the phoenix country club, another old institution, exclusive etc. outdoor ceremony. the reception followed, maybe 200 folks, very pleasant and fun, talked to a lot of folks some i knew, some knew me, and all were painless. old and young.

i especially was surprised and pleased to find so many of the folks were differant, diverse, many different points of view but no ideologues; underneath ran a strong currant of tolerence for the "other".

daughter nicole flew out early sunday morning. her twin brother eric, myself and my dad then drove to prescott. eric's old friend - and mine - john ate lunch with us and we hung out in general. eric drove to the airport tuesday, my dad rode with him - he had an appt with the VA for hearing aid tweak, rode shuttle back.

i had a very fatiguing day yesterday, doing nothing much, travel etc caught up w/ me.

came to library to check email but can't remember login for webmail so i'll try again tomorrow.

meanwhile taking photos and think i'll begin a watercolor today.;

Friday, November 10, 2006

in phx, will leave in an hour for rehersal dinner. haven't even begun to figure out election results but jd hayworth - ex asheville sportscaster and blowhard - is hanging on for recount or some difficult mathematical activity.

i remain convinced that the real struggle for a political governance that includes human/soul value begins now. pay attention.

Monday, November 6, 2006

fihing .jpg

i'll post when i can while away. i'll start trip on election day, highway 40 here i come and there i go.

Sunday, November 5, 2006

ikk.jpg

i've got until 2 tomorrow to get "it" together for an extended trip west. the miraculous will occur and i'll be ready to go by then. or not. whatever, i will go.

mose allison has an open rehearsal today at 4, i'm going to make a point to drift down to the diana wortham theatre, lean back, and take a time out. i guess mose is mostly unknown in the millenial world. i first saw him somewhere in washington dc during late 50's early 60's. i think he was playing grand piano solo at that time.

flash forward 40 years. he played in some small semi-upscale restaurant in tempe az. a co-worker of mine, older than myself, took learning how to play the electric bass seriously, and was taking lessons from a local musician. at this time mose was trucking around some portable digital keyboard and, like chuck berry, played with a local pickup group where ever he went, and the local bass player was always his pick when he came to town. it was great. mose played up a storm and played a lot of his new stuff, which was very ironic in tone, the words sung were very wry. the bass player said he was really difficult to follow, no set list, arrows and scribbles on a napkin was all he had to go by. mose himself looked and played great. he had quit all bad habits and was down to one glass of wine a day, no smoking, and took a mile run on the beach every day.

old and in the way? no way. i hope to see him at the rehearsal. good karma.

Saturday, November 4, 2006

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last night. shot of the moon taken from t's deck. i was fooling around w/ "nightframing - night shot" feature of sony dscv3. calls for long exposure and i didn't use tripod. weird stuff.

i'm hanging in there tho have had better days.

i looked at this site the other day on someone's pc and saw slippage in tbales, misalignment and other signs of amatuer coding. i may simlplify and re group when and if i get time in december. another thing that has been bugging me is that the imagr archive is full of pictures that i used in past posts. so they are small in size. i'll have to rescan, relive, and otherwise refool around with them so when you click on the thumbnail you get a decent sized image.

anything else i'd like to say? go democrats, throw the rascals out, get involved with the political process as it strands itself on a very small island, transend and include the process. the solution to the problem of the broken institution of politics lies outside that domain, but attention must be paid to play, as well as it's source, the dream of reality.

(to be continued.)

Friday, November 3, 2006

greenpiece.jpg

water lilies it ain't. my compulsory fooling around this morning, even tho i am very pushed to do too many things and get on may way west. this is from failed experiment yesterday for wedding gift, i figured out a whole new way of looking and that activity is done.

last night i checked in with asheville drinking liberally and then went to a grass root's progressive organization which took place in year old indian restraint here in aville, mela's, great stuff, good food, 3 local candidates on the bill, nice folks. it's enough to make you feel good about the bad. grass roots is the only way i see that the terrible will not happen, because it is essentially outside political hopeless domain. not an institution but people.

of course any affinity group, where personal knowledge is the key, is pulled towards the institutional by societal forces today - not to mention the necessity of dealing with institutions - but these folks (us) must somehow keep the inner core personal if anything is to change for the better.

Revealed: U.S. Soldier Killed Herself After Objecting to Interrogation Techniques
"The true stories of how American troops, killed in Iraq, actually died keep spilling out this week. Now we learn, thanks to a reporter's FOIA request, that one of the first women to die in Iraq shot and killed herself after objecting to harsh 'interrogation techniques.' "

Thursday, November 2, 2006

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the thing about this photo is that i took it on a twilight walk up sunset mountain. the light had faded into a low glow and i played around with sony "nightframing" and "nightshot". i'm amazed i got anything. a little artifact-y and i probably unsharp masked a bit more than was necessary.

so what else is new? everything, of course. otherwise it would still be yesterday. of course, if it were, everything would still be new.

woke up at 5 and realized the wedding gift i had been working on for my nephew and fiance wasn't working. so i spent until 1:30 working on another, interrupted by doctor appointment. i'll know tomorrow if new present is presentable.

meanwhile i'm in the middle of packing for a long trip and the old attention condition has got me dithering in a thousand directions it's quite amazing that it will all come together in time if i don't get in the way of the process.

got truck back if i didn't already mention it, $175 worth, runs like a top.

i had some art supplies due and finally phoned them, glad i did, they had somehow dropped a stitch. so thy are being sent to my dad's house. i had no choice.

gotta go, clean and pack for the rest of the day, check in with communists at drinking liberally at 7.

as they say around these parts, "baaa..." (bye for now).

Wednesday, November 1, 2006

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photo i took last evening in front of domicile.

very busy next few days preparing for departure. got my truck back from jason yesterday, runs 100% better. i am a little skeptical about burning off the carbon topside which he did with some sort of additive, cleaned valves, valve cover etc. i've always avoided additives. so i have a little more time to investigate purchasing new wheels. i've decided on a hummer. i know the gas mileage is low, but it might come in handy when the roads disappear.

thinking seriously of installing OS X on my g3 running 500 megahertz g4 zif chip. if you are my friend please stop me.

packing for weeks away is tricky for me, i really resist the whole thing. i take lots of meds, whole back up for insulin pump, and now stuff for false teeth. check and double check all this stuff because without it i can run into real unpleasantness. kit includes manuals, replacement parts. i just got replacement for blood glucose meter yesterday, working fine, have to send old meter back today, along with pictures i owe folks.

i'm assembling small portable watercolor bundle also because 3 weeks is a long time to go without splashing around pigments.

after i dropped off truck i walked 2 miles back to home, very pleasant, no problem. Instituting daily 30 minute walk right now. i walk and talk better when the weather is cool, cold, or frozen.

when the election occurs i'll be in arizona, a very different neck of the woods. i already voted, straight democratic ticket. not because they will save the country, the past 6 years they have blown it for the same reasons bush has blown it: too isolated, too rich, too greedy. members of the oligarchy which wouldn't be so bad if the oligarchy was allowed to wonder around in the world most of us inhabit, but they are not allowed to do this. somehow it contaminates them and their fellow oligarchics can smell it.

i voted the way i did because it might serve as a small bump on the road the corporate owners of our world are traveling. a small delay. which can then with luck be used to derail the whole anachronistic bubble. so if the dems win - and there are no republikan tricks - take a deep breath and get ready to engage, be involved, transcend and include, put yourself on the line, you have been robbed of your birthright, your time, and most likely your soul is in hiding, hunkering down. and as adverse to confrontation as i am, living on an earth owned by greedheads is non-optional for me and you too i bet whether you know it or not.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

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mmm...

vote straight democratic ticket.

it will slow down just a tad the draconian oligharchy waiting in the wings. and just a little time might allow some clarity of thought and vision on the part of the human race, without which ain't nothin good gonna happen. and it won't happen quick.

Monday, October 30, 2006

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i am a little off kilter lately. wear and tear. more in good time...

let's see. can i post?

oh yes. but is my post displayed?

if you don't see this the answer is no. if you do see it i suppose i should make some observation or string some words together, but hey, one step at a time.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

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this morning's glyph seems to me to indicate that i should post "06 election manifesto"> so maybe i will. if i can write it.

yesterday morning i did volunteer shift for phone bank of local volunteer this was a stretch for me because i have this funny thing about phones. as far as sampling the ambiance it was pleasant and interesting to be among such well-informed folks, they (we) have it together and good attitudes besides.

i found out that i was included in the footage CNN ran at 5 last tuesday, "broken promises". i think i was one of the extras, wasn't interviewed which is probably just as well.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

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a piece of watercolor i've been trying to salvage. it is not a metaphore, but if it was i'd be tempted to say a piece of life i've been trying to... etc.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

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yesterday i voted, shopped for food, ran a few errands, picked up a load of books at library and missed the showing of CNN hour long feature at 8 pm which may have featured some footage taken a few weeks back at Asheville drinking liberally.

one of the books i came home with is
female chauvinist pigs: women and the rise of raunch culture. i never heard of it before, it was published last year. i am hoping it is a clear exposition of a disturbing trend - to me - that i have been trying not to notice.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

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another glimpse from the parkway last week.

yesterday was a continual bounce from painting a watercolor, bigger than usual, and as usual a landscape i made up as i went. altho i enjoy working this way, there is no doubt that the conventional wisdom that planning and composition is necessary for this medium. maybe next time I'll try it.

now for more of my confused, blurry attempt to describe today's electoral gestalt:

discourse of every kind is changing. icons and signs are replacing conversation, and nowhere is this more apparent than politics. (except entertainment, sports, consumer brands, and the lottery).

so the elections have become soap operas, signs shuffling around in dramatic charades. what is debased, dysfunctional and sad is that any conversation is on hold while the circus is in town. (you remember: "bread and circuses">). my wish is that human discourse of old, as imperfect as it was, could play a part.

i was lucky enough to have dropped in on AM radioland sunday evening to hear matt drudge and ann coulter. drudge in my book is ok, alto - or maybe because - he has a strange sense of trends, ratings, style that modern culture deals in.

however ann colter seems to speak only spin. each question is answered with a cartoonish discription of the situation, not an answer. if i can remember one of these interchanges i will report it here. in the meantime i am spending the rest of the day putting some long delayed errands behind me.

Monday, October 23, 2006

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above another from the parkway. must get up there - or somwhere - tomorrow. i need lots of ammunition i mean material to work on these coming cold dark days.

at this point in my life i am talking about the winter, not the political, cultural, technical, corporate landscape. the world of brands and institutions continues to expand and be the only commonality among us humans, and if the dems win it will not change that. but it may be a small crack in the wall of "there's me, and i'm not sure whether they are real or not".

Sunday, October 22, 2006

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today's picture a day keeps the doctor away. a real waste of time, this one. i spent way too much time doing it. but you never know in this realm. my positioni is do it for reasons that cannot be defined, limited, rationalized or otherwise put in some box. accept doing it. the results always rumble into the passed anyway.

so i've got to cut the 2nd installment of "what is really going on in the coming election".

the points to be made go something like this: in the days when the earth was cold, patent medicine wagons plundered the praries. jump forward 150 years and the "public relations" domain has developed from this to the form we grew up with.

today it has continued to develop into "a whole nother thang". think about the name: "public relations". where did this come from? what does it mean?

"public" has morphed down thru history. start with the classical greek "citizen" right thru john q. public, then the consumer, then the audience. point is each includes a larger more diverse/complex crowd. "relations" of the unprecedented numbers (including communication - speech) changes. we are in a new world. voting makes no sense because in it's present context it becomes an economic spectacle, a charade of dramatic typoi, ghost stories around the fire, the assumed basic "good" that must be experienced by all, the world. like christianity, islam, communism, and every other idiology.

what is the nature of ideology (and how do you spell it)? what does it have to do with our present dire straits?

wait a minute, i have to get out of here.

more.

later.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

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today's obligatory glimpse. last week on parkway south of aville.

i find myself wanting to write about the election. it, or something like it, is headed our way. but the only way to - almost - make sense of it is to include the larger context. and it's a bit too large for me to tackle.

so here is short version of my vision of our voting:

i assume:

that things have changed and are changing so fast behind the veil of our "news" knowledge that to stick to just that, "news", "current events", would be just like shuffling deck chairs on the titanic, only it would be shuffling manufactured, you might even get away with saying "and imposed", signs of this and that, black hats, white hats, smart, stupid, and arching above all these types, "winners" and "losers".

and we get enough of that kind of noise.

so is there a bigger picture?
of course.
can we see it?
mmmmmaybe not yet.

the context of the election is change. wait a minute, don't stop reading (or in my case writing) because by change i mean to say for every "now" the world is different than it was because "now" is new. so every election takes place on a different world.

changed because the input/output of human consciousness has had to adapt, in order to survive. and the returns are not in yet.

what sri auribindo called "the frontal persona" has become the sole experience of consciousness to an overwhelming degree.

take a political candidate. the institution of the market means communicating with 250 million citizens (i'm guessing at the number). an institution can't do that without the technical profit driven delivery machine - media - in which he or she, the icon, cannot use the "personal" mode, you know, like talking at the kitchen table with humans you have history with.

with the false darwinian of "loser loses", campaigns have become gigantic dramas, charades, like two old men at the public square a hundred years ago playing checkers; you could watch, stroll around sit down. background reality.

not the constant and increasing need for the persona to respond, respond, respond. no down time. no time away from the noise machine to let the deeper but unknown source of our existence to waft its way up.

====>to be continued)<=====

Thursday, October 19, 2006

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this morning's limbic-graph is as usual a puzzle to me. is it art? is it wallpaper? is it the product of someone with too much time on his hands?

the answer to the last question is no.

how does one express oneself today? who is expressing what? more to the point, to whom?

"today" because the who and the whom are in flux, object and subject have lost their place and are wiggling all over the map. metaconfusion. this is good.

but it will be better when the new kosmos settles down to give conciousness a break. in the meanwhile be as confused as you can be, because that will condense the confusion duration and we can come out on the other side, where we are just plain old confused like our ancestors.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

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received this in email at jamwave.com. from my son eli who is known as "signal boss" over thataway. if you are interested in music check his site out:
http://jamwave.com/signalboss

i spent the last 24 hours in bed, just a touch of illness. dreams, hallucinations and so forth. the usual. not the first time in my life, probably not the last.

Monday, October 16, 2006

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photo taken from parkway yesterday. i learned a lot on the fly, mostly puttering so to speak with white balance. this one is a time exposure taken after i drove off from a spot without tripod, so the camera was on a flat rock.

a very strange day.

a really strange day.

but not really.

like any other day.

finally put rollovers up top.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

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this morning's meditation. light at the end of the tunnel?

at 1 i'm going to moveon.org gaggle, phone banks and movie iraq for sale.

this must be one of those new lows that i hear about. can you imagine? they flutter like malavolent spirits in and out of our embunkered world. i got this after i got back from parkway, didn't make moveon movie. more in a bit.

----------------------------------bandits on your doorstep--------------------------
Dear Customer,

As the Internet and information technology enable us to expand our services, we are committed to maintaining the trust customers have placed in us for protecting the privacy and security of information we have about you. In order to protect your information against unauthorized access, identity theft and account fraud we earnestly ask you to update your profile.

If you received this notice and you are not the authorized account holder, please be aware that it is in violation of our policy to represent oneself as another Alliance Online Bank user. Such action may also be in violation of local, national, and/or international law. Alliance Online Bank is committed to assist law enforcement with any inquiries related to attempts to misappropriate personal information with the intent to commit fraud or theft. Information will be provided at the request of law enforcement agencies to ensure that perpetrators are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

To confirm your On-Line Safety Account Information please click the link below.

https://www.allianceonline.net.my/cgi-bin/welcome.cgi?
Please note:

If we don't receive your account verification within 72 hours from you, we will further lock down your account until we will be able to contact you by e-mail or phone.
2006 Alliance Bank. All rights reserved.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

byzlady.jpg

this one is a real mess i guess. it was a very active watercolor oil pastel india ink thing. i guess i took a lot of agression out on it. oh well, that is a part of as honest as i can be in this digital domain.

an absolutely gorgeous however you spell it day. i was going up to parkway today but time slipped away so early tomorrow i'll try again.

this morning i got taken by the spirit that has been pushing me into study of watercolor palettes, by that i mean actual pigments used together. it has been eye opening so to speak, the imformation at handprint.com is staggering, and even more importantly, useful to even an intuitive like myself.

Friday, October 13, 2006

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another one from nowhere. from a foto i took on yesterday's walk.

a review of my latest (first & last?) book:
Whistling in the Dark: Poems & Pictures -- book review
a word here and there i would have adjusted, but the reviewer and i pretty much agree on what the book is about.

ken nordine's site is working much better than last time i checked. a master of sound and silence. and he's been doing this stuff for years.
Ken Nordine's Word Jazz - "Where Did You Go" Podcast

Thursday, October 12, 2006

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pencil sketch i did awhile back. i think this is looking out of my dentist's waiting room.

i'm going hitek here. see if clicking here works. if it does you will hear one of the best responses to telemarketeers ever. my nephew jon emailed it to me.[it's not doing anything right now, but maybe the server will catch up so i'm leaving the link.]

i finished a lot of paperwork this morning. i surely resist this, no matter what attitude i try with it. it is like there is a negitive force field around the stack of envelopes that somehow, as i walk towards it ready to deal, spaces me out and i find myself otherwise engaged. i get it done, but it sure takes a long time doing it this way.

my goal is to clean kitchen, truck. today. if i get it done i'nm taking a weeklong retreat that just keeps retreating.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

BlogAsheville: "It's Peanut Butter Charlie Time"

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i am such a creature of habit. the day just does not start until i post something. above is a small pencil sketch. i think i did it a long time ago in a doctor's office. one of the few sketches i didn't make up but looked at something and tried to draw.

more political stuff & nonsense:

it occurs to me creative novelty is loose in our world. it always is of course. the next minute will be a surprise or else it's the same minute it was and time stops.

but the novelty can be and is at present moment a bad surprise. Institutional world of logos and brands squeezing the life out of "democracy" while usa positions itself as it's source and takes the stance that it is compulsory that the world adapt it. similar to communist era when ussr had obligation to spread it's way of life. similar to christianity when it was obligatory to spread the word.

it is as if the one world must be monolithic, of a kind. whoever has the upper hand, whatever may be in that hand, is compelled to paint the world that color. the entire world.

as far as america's situation, we are under rogue regime just about by definition. remember robber barons? we are now owned by their successors, bandits in $2000 suits. i saw an ad for tv show about lawyers yesterday. they were on the march, facing camera, striding towards it, a bunch of them, methodically and with great determination. it reminded my of the seven samurai, or the renaissance italian mercenaries, determined, smart, movers and shakers. serious.

conditoned bandits i'd say, no idea of where they are or what they are. i heard recently that 5 of the 7 wealthiest counties in usa surround washington. conspicuous consumption has morphed into obligatory style of the powerful. i may be wrong but there is some factoid floating around about the square footage of homes built last year. like everything else in the winner take all (loser take nothing) culture, the preponderance of square footage, (we used to call it living space), is included in huge structures, what is left is spread among the owned wage slaves. and they are the fortunate, the housed as opposed to the houseless. ( i refuse to use the homeless word).