Monday, February 28, 2005


today's thought:

there is no wasted time

because there's no time to waste.

Sunday, February 27, 2005



pencil drawing i did yesterday at men's meeting. did a lousy job of scanning, will redo later today.

[later today]

i like it better now.

speaking of lousy, it has recently bubbled up in my mind that monitor calibration is so out of whack i don't have any idea of how my pictures look on your monitor. when i was in arizona january i noticed that on my sister's PC they were all washed out. i'll be looking into this. another glitch that raised it's ugly head is archives have disappeared.

so i suppose i'll be spending a few days in front of the monitor lost in snarls of code and scripts. but not today.

interesting men's meeting yesterday. i like these things, but then i like to talk with people about things more real than the weather.

speaking of which big blow expected here but i don't expect it to be much.

had amost pleasant interlude with new friend - i hope - today. thank you.

this will be a pleasant surprise for a lot of folks. thanks tuck.

The Last Page of the Internet

Saturday, February 26, 2005


pencil sketch.

i must have done it God knows when but i'm doing it again.

promises to be a fine day. yesterday i got into one of those endless marathons, multiplexing all over the place. painting, scripting, printing, and figuring out chords for a piano blues. what fun!

of course it reminded me of the old days when i would find myself thinking "i didn't ask to be lashed to this cross".

broke out of it at 6pm and busted out the front door for a walk up sunset mountain, and it did set. walked back in the dark and was late to the miller's birthday party for Meher Baba, which as usual was warm and a real treat.

various folks entertained, and it made me think that there might have been a time when a social gathering included entertainment performed by the people present, not a dvd.

this morning i'm going to make a birthday card for my nephew jonathon using flash, which should be an interesting exercise because I don't have much time and am still figuring out how to use it.

interesting bit of comment on what and how we read:
"Given the quality of the writing in the blogs I have seen, I doubt that many of the Blog People are in the habit of sustained reading of complex texts. It is entirely possible that their intellectual needs are met by an accumulation of random facts and paragraphs."
Library Journal - Revenge of the Blog People!

other thoughts: once you come to the end of your rope, it's an opportunity (and a necessity) to let go of it.

Friday, February 25, 2005


the light
is strange this morning, bright, brilliant. it reminds me of when i was a child, early spring, an icy brilliance.

tried to see a play wed. nite, but fell asleep and met friend janice too late to go, blood sugar bottoming out. pleasant interlude anyway.

finishing an oil on top of oil pastel, which is a no-no. we'll see what happens.

it's one of those mornings i have little to say. i've reached the end of language.

even so i talked to sam's youngest son whose name i cannot spell. he told me sam is making good progress with physical and speech therapy.

me, i feel like staying in bed today and watching the light crawl across the ceiling.

Thursday, February 24, 2005


hours and hours trying to fix blog archive. insanity.

fascist journalism

"With the Bushies, if you're their friend, anything goes. If you're their critic, nothing goes. They're waging a jihad against journalists - buying them off so they'll promote administration programs, trying to put them in jail for doing their jobs and replacing them with ringers."

The New York Times > Opinion > Op-Ed Columnist: Bush's Barberini Faun

is there something not quite "right" about the desktop revolution?

The New Republic Online: The Revolution Will Not Be Computerized

i'm making some changes to this site, so be patient with any surprises. thanks

[edit made much later: what a can of worms i opened.]

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

corporate pathology


sometimes it's a waste of time to use time. i've been fooling with this watercolor on and off for a long time & now here i am typing. it's late in the day and i've got to get out and take a walk.

on my last trip to the library, i grabbed a few books that looked like they might be worth reading. an old habit.

one has turned out to be a must-read,the corporation: the pathological pursuit of power.

The Corporation - A film by Mark Achbar, Jennifer Abbott, and Joel Bakan (also been made into a film.)

(i just remebered that i had discussed this book and moviie awhile back: see
*[ Modern Peasant ]*)

have you ever read a book that corroborated things you have been mumbling about for years? that's what this book is like for me. it's all there, and when i get time tomorrow i'll pull some quotes from it. it sheds more light on the world we inhabit than anything i've read in a long time.

scattered quotes from book:

"for in a world where anything can be owned, manipulated, and exploited, everything and everybody will eventually be."

"...the corporation is an institution - a unique structure and set of imperatives that direct the actions of people within it.

...the corporations legally defined mandate is to pusue, relentlessly and without exception, it's own self-interest, regardless of the harmful consequences it might cause to others."

"there is, however, one instance when social responsibility can be tolerated, according to [milton] friedman - when it is insincere."
"today, corporations use 'branding' to create unique and attractive personalities for themselves."

some of you may remember when this blog had as it's credo "in a world where you can own anything, you can be owned."

it is also interesting that alfred bester's sci-fi classic the stars my distinction was set in a future where warring dynasties, such as the house of at&t, the house of chrysler, the house of RCA, ran things and squabbled for power.

Monday, February 21, 2005



biz card i've been puttering with. pretty garish, huh? maybe i'll tone it down. right now i'm taking 86 mazda truck in to replace belt i lost friday. more later.

it's later right now. i got lucky with the truck, took about 20 minutes and $35. it was pouring rain, and while it was being worked on i crossed a busy street to do a little quick shopping at the drug store.

a nice thing happened while i was waiting for the lights to change. car pulled up, late model, kid in the special thing they sit in nowadays in the back seat. guy sitting in shotgun said "need an umbrella?" and handed me one. it all took about two seconds, and the traffic took the car away.

i was sorry to hear about dr. thompson's death. i knew him briefly when i worked for the aspen illustrated news around 69-70. the paper used local talent for writing and photography and whenever he dropped an article off i would immediately take it down the street to a lawyer who would leaf thru it, marking up in red phrases like "nazi greedhead" which would be edited out.

i have to say that he was always level headed, calm, cool, and very lucid. in many ways a real southern gentleman. the item below gives some sense of him - and the culture - during that time and place:

"In 1970 Thompson ran for sheriff in Pitkin County, Colorado, losing by a handful of votes after campaigning for drugs to be decriminalised and Aspen to be renamed Fat City. Since his Republican opponent had a crew cut, Thompson shaved his head entirely and peppered his speeches with the phrase 'my long-haired opponent'."

Times Online - World

it will be interesting to see how the news of his death plays out. probably the usual nonsense, but there is a small chance that a meme (see Meme - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) will spread throughout the culture with some substance and a touch of what we used to call "reality" before the junta locked up everyone's mind.

Sunday, February 20, 2005



retouched picture of my daughter nicole. original was partly torn and beat up. must have been taken around around '78.

friday night driving backs from town my truck threw a belt, fortunately only 2 miles to drive, made it through the dark crowded streets of aville with engine roaring and lights going dim.

so i spent yesterday at home, very pleasant day working on postcard and notecard sets i hope to have out around here by summer.

stumbled on a chromatic tuner that is part of band in the box v.8 that works like a charm so tuned guitar in open d, like ways 2 lap steels. but best of all was chinese erhu which after maybe a year i finally found the scale of d finger stops (no fret board on this baby).

spent a lot of overdue time cleaning and archiving material on hard drives. need to continue this until i have a little more breathing space.

refused to throw away water color disaster i've been working on: hosed it down and brought it back to a point where maybe i can complete it.

just walked into the kitchen for one more cup of coffee and flipped the tv on while i was at it. sunday talk show, the koreans have nuclear weapons etc. brings to mind 2 statements:

"if it can be done technologically it will be done." somebody's law, i forget whose.

"if you build it they will come." translation: if saturday night specials and nuclear devices are manufactured by anyone, they will be manufactured by everyone.

Chronicles v.1 by Bob Dylan


Just finished reading this book, and I was mightily impressed.

Among the many divisions the people in this world are divided into are: those who remember Dylan as an icon of the 60's and those who have kept up with his work the last few years and think his present work is as meaningful as ever, maybe more so. he's no nostalgia act, that's for sure.

The book is a surprise in many ways. For one thing I think it is impossible to have an accurate preconception of it. It's another creative surprise from the man.

The tone is down to earth, matter of fact. Startling clarity of moments lived. The texture and mood of odd times and places comes through with a sharp clear cut immediacy. Maybe it is because the massive noise machine of the mediated culture seems incapable of touching these things, and he uses his weight to slip these moments through to us.

In many ways the voice used in the book reminds me of Jack London, Damon Runyon, even rex stout, but with a twist. The 30's and 40's are implicit, not because of some fake agenda but because that's the world he was born into. (Me too).

Read this thing, it is a healthy antidote to the franchised brand name culture that blasts away at us 24/7.

Saturday, February 19, 2005


trying a little something new here. click here to see if it works.

yesterday i attended digital photography SIG at UNCA center for creative retirement. as you might expect - i mean how many people today get to retire creatively? - most of the group seemed to be well off retired folks with loads of expensive equipment.

everybody seemed interested in straight photos, and some were impressive indeed.

i talked to one guru who recommended sony or canon.

in the evening i attended informal performance of "the divine magees", two young ladies, no sound equipment, guitar and viola, good harmonies, at malaprop's book shop.

Friday, February 18, 2005


Can Terrorists Build the Bomb? - Popular Science: "But of more than a dozen nuclear-arms experts I interviewed, almost all agreed that assembling a crude nuclear bomb, though extremely difficult, is by no means impossible. "


"true creativity often starts where language ends."

author koestler (1905 - 1983)

i'm not saying a word.

but you might want to try this:


politics, blogs, and jail?

"Number one lesson is that what happens on the internet can and will bite you on the ass in real life. We've seen it time and time again with internet affairs and sordid emails - now, you'd better watch where you put your political commentating toes."

Blogger gets night visit from US Secret Service

Thursday, February 17, 2005


"Last fall, intruders used stolen identities to open several dozen accounts at ChoicePoint to purchase data such as Social Security numbers and credit reports about thousands of consumers, some of whom have since become victims of identity theft."
Wired News: The Fight Over Cyber Oversight


"'Companies are not charities,' Schneier said. 'They don't do this stuff out of the goodness of their heart. They do it because the marketplace demands it, they do it because liability demands it, they do it because regulation demands it, they do it because competition demands it. Something has to demand it.'

Along those lines, he said, 'The marketplace will only go so far.'"

Clarke rips Microsoft over security


"A company that sells personal data on consumers said Wednesday that it's alerting 145,000 Americans -- including 35,000 Californians -- that they might be vulnerable to identity theft after a crime ring paid for their credit reports, Social Security numbers and other sensitive information. | 02/16/2005 | 145,000 Americans' identity data stolen:


it's going to hell anyway. read these links below.

one step forward, hunker down, think about childhood, play

"people are strange" on cross harp, crawl on the floor towards the refrigerator, take a nap, imagine that, and then go to work. if you do all of this in the digital domain, you may end up as a cyberless person, in which case i would recommend whittling voodoo sticks out of rubylith.

heard a new phrase today: "celibate couples". if it's a meme, look for it soon on at halftime shows around the globe. maybe disneyland where it belongs.

now i am going to lay down for several hours and pretend i'm asleep.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005


today's picture definitely got lost on it's way to somewhere.

i realize that i've been on a run lately. hours, days, weeks non-stop on marginal projects. guess i'll enjoy it while it lasts.

"corruption is even corrupt."

a thought written down in chronicle by dylan.

today is (starting now, about 3:30) for stepping away from work and cleaning the house, paying the bills, grocery shopping. yeah, i do that stuff too.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

the darkness is like solitude.

"sol", the sun.

"why is it this way?" is often asked.

i read an article in old Time magizine in the doctor's office today. it was about a minor movement in the scientific world that asks what are the chances that the kosmos evolved to sustain life, ie conciousness.

i thought it was not a question. because we are always here now, or is it now here?

anyway, now is prior to all "was's". so any kosmos - including the one we call "the kosmos" - was once our beginning, but only because now it is Now.

Monday, February 14, 2005


didn't have much to say when i posted this yesterday. still don't.

glad everyone else does.

here is an item that reminds me of philip k. dick and some of his motifs:,br>
"But for Dr Nelson, talk of such psychic machines - with the potential to detect global catastrophes or terrorist outrages - is of far less importance than the implications of his work in terms of the human race."

RedNova News - Can This Black Box See Into the Future?

Sunday, February 13, 2005


can't sleep. one of those - thankfully - now rare nights tapping keys. picture above is about all that has manifested during this unusual but not forgotten phase.

i gotta get regular.

Saturday, February 12, 2005


supposed to be a pencil sketch above, if you don't see it neither do i. i'll fix it later.

went to the game night at NPR - that's no pairs required - i think - i always want to pronounce it no repairs required.

played something i never quite got but it was fun.

today folks are hiking 7 miles, i passed. as soon as i finish this routine i will take a walk up sunset mountain. from the light in here it looks like cold and bright out.

i've got a large watercolor ready to go, stretched and taped. i am curious how new lighting arrangement might change things.

How To Start Your Very Own Blog In Fifty-One Easy Steps! ||

"Interested in the blogging scene? Confused how to go about setting up your very own blog? Follow these fifty-one easy steps and you'll be a l33t blogger in no time!"

and just wait till microsoff gets ahold of this stuff:

Magnet Therapy, Depression, Alternative therapies, mind-body medicine, integrative therapies
"Electromagnetic brain stimulation of varying types has been used with success in the treatment of depression"

magnetic stimulation therapy for depression in place of electro shock
"An experimental therapy that uses magnetic stimulation to treat severe depression could prove to be a viable option for patients who otherwise would resort to electric shock therapy, University of Florida researchers report."

Friday, February 11, 2005

this is what i've been fooling with last couple of days. i did it to fit in old frame i still have constructed out of reminants of booths in harry's delicatessen, chapel hill, another world. am not real happy with result, but there it is.

spent yesterday out and about, nonoptional errands. got a full spectrum light that makes all the difference in the world painting. and a telephone that will throw me into 2005. no it's not a cell phone. also 50 feet of twisted pair phone cord which will work a lot better than old one which was shredded.

this morning another run to town, then think i'll work on poetry book which i'll self publish. gotta make a statement.
and kleen the kitchen.

latest from house of cards:

Trojan Targets Microsoft's AntiSpyware Beta:
"Malicious programmers are already sharpening their claws on Microsoft Corp.'s anti-spyware software, even before the application's official release."

Thursday, February 10, 2005


picture is from watercolor i did for christmas card.

yesterday's post continued:

in every society there is an ownership class who run things. this class is usually so overwhelmingly embedded in the culture that they are invisible. it is like the fish in water who can detect other manifest objects but are unaware of the water. for instance the european middle classes was largely unaware of the church when the church was running their life. how could be? the church was equivalent to reality at that point. and reality is considered unquestionable by the inhabitants.

just as today, reality includes the need to work. a job to survive. in order to survive, it is unquestionable that you need a "job".

in the middle ages, only when the nation-states evolved to become the ownership class did the church become "visible" to the culture as an institution that could be seen and criticized, and the political nation-state became unquestioned "reality". in the same way, with the rise of "wage slavery" as the dominant reality, the former dominant, the nation state, is slipping into the visible realm, with much scrutiny paid to them, while the commercial interests own us, dictate what we do, smell like, look like, where we are and when we are there. this is perceived as "reality", "a man has to eat and sweat to eat".

so what i am saying is that today we are morphing into a society where our livlihood is dictated by jobs, which includes character qualities like what you do when you are not "at work". emotional fascism.

the sooner the culture lives this, the sooner it will go away.

Wednesday, February 9, 2005

sam has been moved to thom's rehab, good sign. hope to see him there tomorrow.

i've got stuff to do all over town so it promises to be a hustle day in the paris of the south.

finished a ho-hummer today, watercolor, guach, colored pencil and oil pastel. it sounds like what it looks like.

funny things happened today. first i heard about bloggers being fired from their jobs. a new dilemma? need to express vs need to survive?

reminded me of the incident in clark's book where he hears one general tell another who is going to talk with rumsfield "if you want to be heard, be ready to hand in your stars".

considering the mortgage, the children, the cost of middle-class day to day, isn't this the same dilemma? express or survive.

then tonight on PBS leher news an interview with russian who just wrote a book on democracy and why it is good. he was talking about living under stalin. you could survive or express yourself but not both.

the conversation i had when i was shown the difference between the word "artist" (expression) and "addict" (etymologically from "does not talk, express").

so my prediction. more and more folks are going to lose their foothold in the work world because of something they said. or sang. or painted. or wrote.

Monday, February 7, 2005


this is sort of a ... watercolor that i messed with this morning.i had - still have - too much on my list of "things" to do. but today is a karmically ritualistic sort of time, so i decided to let things go like i do every other day. so i've been at the watercolors and computer all day.

click here to see why it's Be Day for me.

nice evening at the reilly's last night, good to see and hear old friends, new friends.

Sunday, February 6, 2005


pencil drawing started in arizona.

hike yesterday was good, no apparent ware and tear apparent.

finishing von franze's psyche & matter. random sample:

"we have a direct consciousness of ourselves consisting of a certain amount of direct information. this is not our body, but our "i". but if we look at another being or object we can in fact not see it because we see only it's body., it's outer appearance, which we call matter, and not it's "inwardness" which is it's true nature. the corporeal existence is only an illusion, or a by-product of our sense-perception. we have two modes of acquiring information: by observation and by participation. "

too much to type. but brings wilbers left side and right side quadrants into the picture for sure. sunny day. i'm going for a walk.

Saturday, February 5, 2005


remember this guy? me neither.

saw ray last night. very jarring movie. i hadn't expected 50's noir. extreme moments.

went for 7? mile hike with old folks this morning. nice crowd, nice weather. just about the right number of steps - 1299? - for me.

check this review out to see how misinformed a review can be. it reads like a parady, the author obviously doesn't know squat about macs. everything in the review is inaccurate. he or she seems to think that a mac is a PC:
Mac Mini: The Emperor's New Computer:
"To see how much industry support the Mac platform has these days, I did a google to see if there were Mac versions of any of my favorite applications; unfortunately I ended up disappointed every time. There are very few first-person shooters for OSX. There is no Mac version of WeatherBug to check the temperature anywhere in the world. Nor is there a Mac version of helpful web and email enhancers like Hotbar. Or any equivalent of the DealHelper software I use to keep track of my passwords. My Office 2003 CD would not install, despite claims I had heard from Mac fanboys that OS X is compatible with Office. "

lucius has resurfaced, thanks jim c.

Lucius Shepard interviewed - infinity plus non-fiction: "Lowlife Baroque
An Interview with Lucius Shepard
by Nick Gevers"

Friday, February 4, 2005


fresh egg, just done this morning in an effort to WAKE UP.

sun is out and so am i, going to be out and about today, the first time since re-entery to carolina mountains.

meanwhile here is a statement we all should ponder:

* >> version 34.0, JULY.2002 >> MAX PODSTOLSKI
"It is only a limitation in thinking, a fixed idea, to presume that art must either be socially visible or not exist at all."

and here is an item that indicates maybe there is a dab of sanity left in this world

Study: Internet Explorer continues to lose market share - Computerworld
"Microsoft Corp.'s share of the browser market has continued to slip, according to a new study, indicating continued momentum for users switching to Internet Explorer alternatives."

Thursday, February 3, 2005


had to squeeze in the image above because this blog has come to support the "image a day" school.

supposed to be a snow and ice day in aville but i don't think it will amount to much - famous last words.

yesterday evening i finally brought out crock pot and pans and cooked stew and beans. made a hell of a mess but it's never too late to start. right?

set up oils and attempted to finish painting i was fooling with before trip to arizona. it's pretty much a failure so i'm just applying paint to see what works and doesn't.

slowly researching digital cameras, looking for a good buy. 5MB seems the minimum, since i'd like to print large at 300ppi.

inadvertently watched most of state of the union speech. the long shots were most discouraging: a millionaire's club, no doubt about it. like a kid's birthday party, an omnipresent air of self-congratulation. i say lock the doors and keep them all inside, hobnobing and hornswaggling, and forget about them.

i noticed that bush spoke twice, i think, about "renewing institutions". i agree with him that the institutions no longer work, but instead of renewing they need discarding and replacing with something else besides institutions. some way to organize folks based on anything but profit and self gain. doing things because they benefit others might be a good start.

i ate lunch years ago with ayn rand. i guess she was at the top of her game then. she considered altruism, compassion, obsolete. i considered her obsolete. the winner-take-all ethos needs to become a bad memory. as soon as we all do things because 1) they are fun and 2) help others is the only way to go. i think most people who have lived most of their life already would agree. utopian? sure, why not; it beats dystopia.

Tuesday, February 1, 2005


back from trip to arizona. i left right when the balmy weather we had since the holidays went away, and got to the west when the floods and rains were going away. i can't help it if i'm lucky.

stayed mostly at my dad's in prescott, and a little time with sister jane and family in phoenix. the pencil drawing above was done on the shuttle that runs back and forth between the two cities.

son eric and angela flew in for short break, it was delightful to see them both, they seemed so calm & competent. dad was 86 or 87 and doing quite well. like me he may shortchange the social world in favor of being by himself, but makes the effort to get out and about.

i made up my mind about which projects to pursue this year. must make my statement.

one of them is a redo of this blog. among other things i found out that the color pictures really look bad on PC monitor, so while i'm fooling with the gamma settings i'll rip the whole thing up and rearrange.

things i noticed while out of my cage:

the word "pessimistic" is getting a very bad rap. comes with living within the cult of optimism.

this "leading edge of the baby boom" is going to be stranger than people think. we may revert to the fine old roman institution of voluntary departure from this world. wait and see.

the world of brand-names not only has us surrounded, it prohibits the existence of any other world.

and finally, this from the savage god by alvarez which i just finished:

"when norman mailer calls the modern, statistical democracies of the west "totalitarian'" he is not implying that the artist is bound and muzzled and circumscribed as he would be in a dictatorship - a vision not even the most strenuous paranoia could justify. but he is implying that mass democracy, mass morality and the mass media thrive independently of the individual, who joins them only at the cost of at least a partial perversion of his instincts and insights. he pays for his social ease with what used to be called his soul - his discriminations, his uniqueness, his psychic energy, his self. add to that the ubiquitous sense of violence erupting at the edges of his perception: local wars, riots, demonstrations and political assassinations, each seen, as it were, out of the corner of his eye as just another news feature on the television screen. add, finally, the submerged but never quite avoidable knowledge of the possibility of ultimate violence, known hopefully as the balance of terror. the result is totalitarianism not as a political phenomenon but as a state of mind."