Friday, September 30, 2005

Thursday, September 29, 2005


just in time for lunch i finished today's ideogram. it's going to be a good day, what's left of it.

for those of you with broad mind & broadband, you might want to download mp3 of peter fenner talking about this and that. good stuff.:
Radiant Mind | Buddhi

slept thru the night. what an unusual delight.

haven't gone into it here, but in the recent past, sleepless, i have been turning on bedside radio and listened to the night people. am and shortwave have the damnedest things floating along the radio waves. the other night for a couple of hours i happened onto a long show from the church of the sub-genius. this whatever-it-is has popped up in my life several times in different places. the black and white graphics they - it? - turned out and are probably still turning out were great, complicated charts, clip art looking, real dada. they are doing the same with audio. i'll see if i can't run the audio down for yr listening enjoyment. [later: i couldn't even find the "old" graphics. but i think audio streams are out there somewhere.]

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

wednesday is the day i have a morning and afternoon course with the center for creative retirement at unca. tai chi in morning and color theory in the afternoon. so it's been a busy day, during which i squeezed in some work on the picture above. but my mouse died. so i've been driving back and forth, rushing into the house and trying different combinations of mice, which is why the picture is unfinished. i just now got things settled on the mouse front and it's 6 in the evening. maybe i'll finish it, if not: it's finished.

watched part 2 of no direction home last night. lot of good stuff but i guess i liked part 1 better. it had a very clear line of bob trying out and developing various timing, breathing, singing, words and was fascinating to watch. and the black and white footage illustrating this was beautiful, the close ups of bob's face were beautiful.

part 2 on the other hand i think leaned too heavily on the electric band performing in the teeth of open hostility. altho it was fascinating to watch. the interviews with al kooper were great, as is his story, going back to "blonde on blond". bob nieuwirth had some very heavy statements about "it". by the way i got a daedulus music catalog in the maik and noticed a release of nieuwirth playing with a cuban that sounds very interesting.

the concert footage was often over the tipping point, and was totally synchrnious out of control. and it was sure good to hear a young mike bloomfield, one of the very best.

on the other hand i wasn't much interested in the hotel footage from the english tour done pennebaker. it blew me away when it first came out but now seems more like watching a bunch of very stoned and drunk 25 year olds trapped in a room. i guess you have to be there. now.

by far the best thing i've seen over the air in many years, and timely too. in the present context of the criminal overworld there was a lot said in this film.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


watercolor barely dry. resorted to gouach out of desperation.

yesterday was "D" day, the first half of scorcese's no direction home. i don't know what the buzz is about it but i enjoyed it. straight talk from the old man. he's deconstructing the cultural icon he is perceived as, and doing it right out in front of the world.

of course his efforts resulted in a new construction, face, motif, meme, whatever you want to call it.

i liked the context of the film, the happenings in the culture when we were young. what a way to live.

something he said about "a language he hadn't heard" appealed to me. and concert footage taken from the stage with mr. d. on the keyboards during the move into electricity was brief but. . . well, electric i guess.
Guardian Unlimited | Arts special reports | Last night's TV:
"it's a mesmerising performance, electric. Electric in every way of course, and that's the problem for the die-hard folkies. They boo and shout 'Switch it off'. The fools."

Monday, September 26, 2005


it's 11:40 and this is all i've come up with. beautiful soft rainy morning, subdued light.

i put latest page from ongoing poetry-riff-picture book up here. (.pdf)

Sunday, September 25, 2005


this mornings cyberdoodle. i felt like i had to make up for yesterday's.

the Baba folks are heading out for sandy mush this afternoon and i believe i'll go too. part of madison county i've always wondered about.

it's another image day around here. got nothing much to say about nothing much.

a lot of housework to do. still trying to update music and image collections found somewhere around here.

did you know a new meme is lurking around on the nocturnal AM radio waves? has to do with top-secret military project to control the weather.

Flecktones Message Forums - Chemtrails Anyone?:
"Well I think we can step out from under the realm of conspiricy theories on this now. Our own congress has had bills introduced which openly claim that there are operational weather modification programs out there right now."

i'm a skeptic, i'll stick with mark twain.

Saturday, September 24, 2005


not a pretty picture. let's call it a character study?

Friday, September 23, 2005


it's hard for me to believe how long it took to do the above painting. it was like the tarbaby: i couldn't get loose from the thing, returning over and over again to gaze, wonder, and then screw it up all over again.

of course one of the open secrets of creation is knowing when to stop. but another is the occasional frustrating marathon. i still recall one saturday in tempe arizona trying to something with an early DOS system involving vi, a unix text editor. all day lost in the labyrinth of a constellation of glitches. my take is that from time to time these frustrating all consuming times pay off later, but i wasn't prepared for this kind of activity yesterday.

so today i'll do what i was going to do yesterday, as soon as i find my list. when i do, i'll cross off the first item, finding the list. then, with that small success, i'll lose it again.

Thursday, September 22, 2005


another early morning image. after using photoshop since version one, i'm still finding vast worlds of things to do with it. each one opens to more worlds. if all software was built so well and deep it would be a better world.

took first tai chi class with don pedi. i really like his approach. also first color theory class which promises much.

going to see the penguin parade (or some such title) with bobby at 1. daylight matinee, what depravity.

i am on some medical lists that i get via email. here is a bit of one i found amusing about some drug trial:
"A surprising effect was linear weight loss in the exenatide-treated group, possibly as a result of nausea."

Wednesday, September 21, 2005


photo of back yard. i think it may be the only "straight" photo i've ever put up. that is not twinked, twinkled and slightly warped with photoshop. i'm going to enlarge it in grayscale and transfer it to canvas.

why is it so difficult for most of us to have fun?

especially the growing hordes of anhedonists?

is it

a - we're unenlightened.

b - we are of the conditioned mind, or at least feel that way.

c - we're developmentally stunted, a la maslow, piaget, winnicott, freud.

d - we're not individuated.

e - we're borederline personalities

f - there are too many free radicals running amok in the bodymind.

g - cudgled into submissiveness by societies pliers.

h - don't get it.

i - do get it.

j - kali yuga express.

k - doesn't matter.

too many of us only laugh when the tv is on.

(not me, i'm right where i'm standing and i get a good laugh out of that at least once a week.)

today i have 2 classes, 9:30-11:30, 2:30-4:30. if i manage to make both for 8 weeks it'll be a new personal best for me.

what does a blogger do when he or she has nothing to say? blog away anyway.

why? i don't know. after a few years it becomes a habit. me, i start my day with this "thaing" and don't really get going until it's out of the way. often i default to the language of images which in some cases means a couple of photoshop hours. more often i let my fingers do the talking.

official take a morning walk starts this morning, it's 7AM, still cool and overdue.

i've been listening to bob dylan for the last week. it amazes me that he is still such a polerizing figure. such a long public productive life is bound to get stuck at some stage in the mind of many. there was a snide piece in mountain xpress a couple of weeks ago comparing him unfavorably to a younger volk singer who was still at the barricades from time to time. i'm glad the new guy is good, but the comparison is meaningless. bob the protest singer went up in smoke decades ago. today's bob has a lot of bobs behind him, most of whom have an eerie grasp on what life on the planet is or was.

he seems to be taking care of the endgame now, scorsese film, the book chronicle. a neat freak, herding his "legacy" into final landing place just like a lame duck president but with dylan i feel that it is important for the evolution of the kosmos that he not be forgotten.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


yet another flower photo. these are all taken near my domicile and i guess i should be thankful they are my neighbors.

one of the reasons this blog looks so "antiquated" is because it is antiquated. check this new site out by uptown ruler
Free Radio America to see slick.

my friend Ray Kassray kass has what sounds like a big retrospective show opening in NYC soon.

today's agenda: put garbage out, take a walk whether i feel like it or not, vacuum truck, change oil, buy cd-rom disks and covers, drop by art supply house to get a few things for color theory class that starts tomorrow finish new template for blog, more changeable sidebars and rollovers for links at top, put up about 300 pictures and scrub down watercolor i overworked in a few places.

wash the dishes.

Monday, September 19, 2005


worked most of the weekend on new template for this page. dreamweaver is a dream, but it does have it's quirks. took the above photo on one of my morning walks which i'm trying hard to resuscitate now that the weather is just starting to cool down a little.

beefing up the image archive and animation page, not up yet but i'm in too deep to stop now - the story of my life - so maybe by the end of the week i'll have all of the new goodies uploaded.

start 3 new classes this week, tai-chi, jung and color theory.. hope they hold my interest. one of the things i like about these classes (center for creative retirement, unca) is that if there is too little happening in them, i can just stop going. kind of like school should be.

today i'm going to install an older OCR app and send several dental treatment plans to friends katie and pat (hello katie and pat). change oil in truck. and work on a watercolor that i'm more or less doing just to see if i can. it's been awhile.

i'm still a million miles away from the political, just can't engage. i feel the near future will turn into the personal and mundane while the institutional slowly disappears like the chesire cat. it's that grin that i fret about.

if absolute power corrupts absolutely, and i guess it does, not only humans but institutions are affected, and there is not one today that is not so corrupt in one way or another that it can be helpful to the world's inhabitants. the only thing i see to do is live a life that somehow increases consciousness, or, to put it another way, live a conscious life. and that is more than enough to keep a body busy.

Sunday, September 18, 2005


not an unusual day. vacuumed, made the above image from a jpg my son eric sent me, lake tahoe? naaaa. . . sierra navadas maybe.

talked with bobby who was fresh back from a workshop experience with dr. allen combs at southerdharma. b. said it was great.

been fooling around w/ leftover music fragments and think i have enough for 2 CDs. what a surprise.

started a watercolor this morning, a simple one. what a surprise.

i'm moving the tv into the bed/studio room. bad fung-suey in front room. i can watch it at night when i'm not sleeping. sound off of course. maybe a fan. shortwave drifting in and out.

i'd really rather read a good book.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Friday, September 16, 2005


neighbor's giant plant. i don't know what it is but it is big. a sign of things to come in the sub-tropical smokey mountains?

in an hour i take first begining piano lesson. hope my right wrist can take it. hope i can take it. [note: i made the class and it wore me out. as the psuedo-prez says, "it was hard work."]

i was talking to friend geoff the other day and stumbled onto an ancient riff i used to think about, but couldn't quite remember it. i think it went like this:

"all men are created equal." it seems to me that there has been an incremental creep in the meaning of this statement. there is a tendancy today to interpret this as "all men are identical". the women's movement, civil rights, and other issues seem to fall into this semantic double cross from time to time. today, with society's emphasis on defining the human as the ego and nothing more, there seems to be a strong pull towards this mis-interpretation, making the statistical average the norm.

the statistical average height of the human race is a number. but if you lined up all humans living today and measured them, you might find that not one is of average height. each of us is unique. there is no norm, except for abstract thought where it has some use.

the human has always had the task of experiencing his or her's real self, whatever that may be. not including the eccentric, the unique, the far ends of the bell curve, is in my opinion resposible for a mess of problems that plague society today.

2+2=4. but 2+2 is not identical with 4.

another possibly related topic: during my lifetime there has always been a pull away from the megalopolis on the part of myself and many friends. even though worldwide more and more people are moving to the urban beehives and away from the rural. now some folks in silicone valley are wondering about it.

"...the economic opportunities in Silicon Valley still outweigh the social costs.
But for how long?
That is the question raised by a report being issued next week by the Silicon Valley Leadership Group. When it comes to quality-of-life issues like housing costs, transportation and education, the report concludes that Silicon Valley ranks dead last compared with the other seven largest high-tech regions." | 09/16/2005 | Industry report ranks region last among eight high-tech areas in quality of life:

Thursday, September 15, 2005


today is the birthday of my youngest son nathan. i hope you have a good day nathan, a good year, and a good life. you deserve it.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


cyber-graffiti floating around the web. thanks bill.

is it in bad taste? yeah i suppose so. like the bind technology has created when grabbed and used by the powerheads.

why is it amusing? the people of america have not - yet - lost the ability to see the absurd we are surrounded by. "the other gulf war" is another example.

remember: the world is owned. you may own a piece. or you and the bank.

but the whole globe is possessed... by what? the illuminati? the carlton group? the bohemian club?

or is it the pathological spirit of possession, domination and control?

the answer, of course, is blowing in the wind.

for the detail-oriented check this very interesting interview out (thanks tharpa): ::::: The 9/11 Truth Movement:
"...all those stories drawn from mainstream sources that contradicted the official account, I decided I needed to look into it more carefully, and the more I looked, the worse it got."

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


two hours at dentist this morning, came home and lay down. slept. still sleeping. there is not going to be a hell of a lot happening at this site until i feel like mice elf (thanks sly), or any elf for that matter, again.

Monday, September 12, 2005


photo i took at tom and cathy's friday night potluck for the muhlig's who were up from hillsboro looking to move here. their house burned to the ground a few weeks ago. photo was taken in low light, no tripod, and of course i had to tweak it.

what it is really is an ongoing thing i've fallen into: take pictures while i learn digital camera. load onto computer anything i might be able to work with. and see what is possible and what is not. the above photo for instance was almost totally dark, black, very little information, and i got the above out of it which is not entirely successful but the process was enlightening, so to speak.

sending files for book this morning, and then jump into all of the things i have been putting off while i was in deadline fever.

i feel good this morning, wide awake and fresh. i think a good night's sleep did it and am thankful because i was sinking lower and lower this weekend.

talked to old friend geoff in santa fe yesterday, putting together trip to chaco canyon while i am in arizona late november. i very much look forward to this for too many reasons to list here.

have an appointment with dentist tuesday. i may be headed towards false teeth city.

i'll finish off today's post with another aphorism picked at random from a collection i've been reading. a commentary on my intellectual stamina that it's about all i can read for pleasure these days. anyway here it is:

"machinery is aggressive. the weaver becomes a web,, the machinist a machine. if you do not use the tools, they use you."
emerson, 'works and days', society and solitude, 1870

Sunday, September 11, 2005


my morning's icon. i'm not totally happy with the results but i have no shame so you see it above.

got this included in an email from friend jerry:

"It is good that the desire for enlightenment seems far away, because
the desire for enlightenment is the greatest barrier in attaining it.

It is one of the eternal questions for the seekers of truth. On the one hand the masters go on saying, "Attain enlightenment," and on the other hand they go on saying, "Don't desire it." And it has been a great puzzle for the poor disciple. The master is saying both things: desire it, and don't desire it. Desire it because it is the only thing desirable; don't desire it because desire becomes a barrier.

Not to create that puzzle for you, my way of working has been
different. Just being with you, talking or not talking, just giving my whole heart to you and creating a situation in which you can taste something of enlightenment... even that small taste of enlightenment will be enough for you to stop here and now in this moment. You will forget all desires, enlightenment included.

If a situation can be created in which you are so blissful, so
contented, that just for a moment there is no desire in your mind, you have learned a great lesson – that if this state of no-desire can continue every moment, you need not bother about enlightenment: it will come to you. You have not to go to it. It is not an object sitting somewhere that you have to desire and find and work hard and go to it. It is simply your own state when there is no desire.

This desirelessness is the most blissful state possible, and
enlightenment is another name for it. Knowing it even for one moment is enough, because you are never given by life two moments together; it is always one moment. And if you know the secret, the alchemy of
transforming this moment, you know the whole secret of transforming
life, because the next moment will also be the same. You can do to it what you have done before; you can continue in desirelessness.
Being in my presence... I am using it as a device to avoid any confusion and puzzle in your mind.

I can give you the taste, and then the taste will take care of you.
First, the desire for enlightenment will look so far away, and by and by you will forget all about it because you will be in it; it will be within you. And certainly in the beginning it looks like a beautiful dream, because we are accustomed to reality and its ugliness. We know beauty only in dreams.

So whenever something like this happens to you even while you are fully awake, it feels as if it is a dream. Reality cannot be so nourishing, so tremendously beautiful, so magnificent: reality cannot have this magic. But I tell you, reality is more magical than any dream. It is more beautiful than any dream; it is more poetic than the greatest poetries of the world.

Te reality that we know is not the true reality; it is the reality
seen through an ugly mind which projects itself on reality. We don't
see the real; we always see it colored with our own prejudices, ideas, our whole mind. And even that we see only while running. We never relax. We are always constantly on the run, knowing not where we are going. It is just that something seems to be missing, and we are trying to find it everywhere, in all directions. And we will not find it anywhere, because this mind will always be between you and the real, distorting the real.

If you are receptive in my presence, if you are loving, your mind
leaves you for a moment – it has to leave you. Something more important than your mind is happening. That's what love means. You can even sacrifice yourself – in trust you sacrifice the mind, and the moment the mind is put aside and you see eye to eye with reality, it is so beautiful, indescribably beautiful. And certainly in those moments you will feel that you don't even want to be enlightened. If this rality can go on and on forever, then what more can enlightenment give you?

And you are right, because this is the beginning of enlightenment. You have got just a glimpse, and even the glimpse makes you drop the desire for enlightenment – and dropping the desire makes enlightenment easily possible. It simply happens. One day suddenly you wake up in the morning and you are not the same person, and with your change the whole existence has changed. And then it is not a question of doing something to keep it; it remains with you.

In fact, even if you want to drop it, you cannot drop it. You cannot go back; you can only go forward.

And one day, that day also comes in your life when enlightenment
becomes so natural to you – just like breathing, just like the
heartbeat, just like the blood running through your veins – that you
don't even feel it. And the blood is going really fast, round and round from feet to head, but we don't feel it; we are born with it, we are accustomed to it.

When enlightenment becomes just a natural phenomenon, then the last
mystery opens its door: one goes even beyond enlightenment. Going
beyond enlightenment means one becomes just ordinary, part of this vast universe – without any claim, without any superiority, without any ego. One simply dissolves in the ocean of reality, just like a dewdrop in the morning sun slipping from the lotus leaf into the ocean. That is the last... Then there is nothing else left to happen; you have become the ocean.

Enlightenment still keeps something of you... very fragile, but there is still some idea of "I." And because of enlightenment, not knowingly, you are superior and you feel superior. That's why the last step, when even that smallest part of "I" also dissolves... now you are neither superior nor inferior: you are not.

Existence is.

Buddha calls it nirvana. He has chosen the best word for it."

Osho, taken from The Path of the Mystic, Chapter #2, ©

Saturday, September 10, 2005


another pic i rescued from the "lost archives". this one dates back a few years to when i first started combining watercolor with anything electronic or otherwise i could get my hands on.

worked all day yesterday on cleaning up and collecting new life files to send to myrtle beach. i was aiming for 12 today, the last UPS pick up time. i'm not going to make it, so they will leave monday morning.

i've been missing the wonderful weather and think i'll get up to the parkway next week.

first class at unca center for creative retirement begins friday, i'm taking 4 classes: beginning piano, color theory, tai chi, and jung.

my attention span seems to have been used up - temporarily i hope - and i got totally lost driving to tom & cathy's night before last. it was an eerie sensation. but a beautiful aliatory cruise. luckily a get a retry tonight.

caught the leher news on pbs last night and was interested in what dave brooks had to say. i rarely agree with him on anything, but he talked about across the board institutional failure re katrina. this is my current meta theory about the hurricane reaction debacle. the institution as a method of organizing people to get things done has, like everything else in our lifetime, evolved and now IMHO become a cartoon. the organizing principle of institutions is self aggrandizement. another way to say it is survival, profit, based on not pretending to be, but actually becoming ignorant of the human domain. which includes doing something meaningful for reasons other than profit.

since i don't have much else to say today, a random sample of latest book i'm reading, the oxford book of aphorisms chosen by john gross:

"heaven knows what would become of our sociality if we never visited people we speak ill of: we should live, like egyptian hermits, in crowded solitude."
george eliot, scenes of clerical life, 1858

Friday, September 9, 2005


among other things i have been going thru past posts and collecting images that were posted. i plan to enlarge image archives to include some of these, many of which i'd forgotten about. above is a good example. there are a lot of them and they're not on image archive page yet. i'll let you know when they are up.

working on new life book again, this time to deliver workable files jeff and susan can continue to work in myrtle beach and india. afraid it will be mon or tuesday before i can ship disks but we'll see how today goes.

vox populi: everyone is upset finally with bush. and his far flung cohorts: the ownership class. by that i do not mean people that own something, but folks who own the media, business, all institutions, and most of all, you.

it will be interesting to see how the noise machine deals with this. personally i do not think if bush physically disappeared today it would make much difference. he has his own owners, and they would just replace him with the junta's latest model. the problem is systemic, historical and not personal. it is the loss of a common language for the both the oligarchy and the rest of us.

one possible solution, not the best but a distinct dark horse, is for the republican base (not the politicians) to feel more like humans than numbers and cut him loose and take back their party.

or, if the trend continues, the power machine, well-oiled of course, might just decide to hell with it and spring a surprise that i'm sure is well-planned out and hidden somewhere: dispense with the elections. maybe have a fixed game show instead.

far out, huh?

Thursday, September 8, 2005

katrina - i may have the hurricane's name spelled wrong - has understandably kicked up a firestorm about bush's invisible coup d'etat and the manner it which it functions. the airwaves are full of the consequent buzz-words from all direction: "blame-game" goes a long way to invalidating any criticism of response to the catastrophe.

reasonable people are upset, but in the face of bush's noise machine may find that it is impossible to discuss the post-catastrophic response catastrophe.

points to ponder:

1 - the response was not an aberration caused by mother nature. it was and is perfectly congruent with everything else "bushy". cronyism, deafness to the outside world which includes the entire globe with the exception of the "yes men" who huddle in the white house. it is another example of the unamerican take over of the republican party by the criminal overworld, and the real world chaos that results.

2 - the response by "the people", some of whom are well-trained and well-experienced disaster relief teams, has been stopped cold. last night on the radio i heard story after story of fully loaded expeditions headed south who were turned back by the guv'mnt. while it is understandable that a modicum of control is desirable in all efforts to help, the exclusion of "we the people" is worse than unfortunate, it is situation normal for the oligarchs. remember during the last election if you were not a credentialed and well behaved and rehearsed republican, you could not attend an election speech by the bush team.

3 - "the race card" is another troubling development. middle america got a peek into the invisible - in bush's world - 3rd world that has become deligitimized but exists in this country. there are thugs, bandits, and politicians and police on the take in N.O., always have been. but the "looting" is small potatoes compared to the corporate looting that is taking place all over the world, ie iraq.

4 - the bedrock discrepancy between the populace and all of the institutions including government is highlighted by this fiasco and has much to reveal about the core problem of our present gum'nt.

it is my belief that institutions, all of them, have devolved into sitcom land. the current mode of meetings, memos, power-point presentations and the like are regarded by the members of any institution as the right way to go about things. but the sitcom attributes of this mode are well known among the just plain folks. turf battles, sycophants, cover your ass and all of the bureaucratic spaghetti we know so well. these folks are scared of ordinary people because they don't know any. the resulting isolation from the human domain can only cause bad uninformed decisions.

9/11, the attack, was carried out by small flexible groups. the response was yet another institutional reorganization into homeland defense. anyone who has survived in this closed world knows that a vast reorganization of formerly separate institutions doesn't work. while we have meetings, the enemy sits back and patiently lets us fall on our face.

the fact that for the first time in our history we have declared war against a noun, not a nation-state, comes from the same hubris and ignorance of the owners of our nation-state. the fully conditioned institutionalized - CEOs, presidents, the super-enabled rich - are ignorant in the most basic sense of the word of the domain of just-plain folks, whether here or in iraq. we are in the middle of that ignorance's result.

folks who inhabit the day to day mundane world know how to navigate within it. folks who have walled themselves off from it don't have a clue.

my point is that as long as this absolute split between the ownership world and the folks on the ground persists, naive misjudgements and consequent critical mistakes will continue.

the solution, it seems to me, is for the republican establishment, the "base", many of whom are scared to death of the bush machine, stand up and retake their party. all power-mongers should be dropped by parachute into the darkness of the great american night. more or less like normal people have been. the reality of suffering and displacement would no longer be excluded from that class, nothing but waking up would result. and the junta would be history.

Wednesday, September 7, 2005


totally sleepless night. and i feel it. some kind of astrological malaise. i must be in retrograde again. picked a digital photo at random and you see it above. something wierd was going on in front yard.

reading an interesting book:the eden project: a jungian perspective on relationship by James Hollis . it's for a class i'll be taking soon at unca. nothing i would have chosen to read.

but it's very good, and not so much man-woman "relationship" but more like object relations, the manifest world of duality. especially good on organizations, a timely subject, and the difference between society and community.

Monday, September 5, 2005


tried something a little too wierd on this photo. oh well. one of the oddities of this site is that i post works in progress, and don't forget it's only a 17k file.

Sunday, September 4, 2005


nature shot. took awhile before he would let me pet him.

i've been working on a photoshop piece for 3 days. all day today. it brings up that delicate subject of balance. i'm way too involved with it.

but it's familiar territory. i've been tied to this whippin post before. i'll stumble into a way to make it happen. it must be a case of the compulsive becoming obsessive. it's not the best way to play, but i guess that's part of the game.

but it does, as they say, keep me off the streets.

Saturday, September 3, 2005


pix from a walk i took this week.

yesterday i kept noodling at what is the problem?

looking at it from the particular to the beyond manifest.

i think it is something like this: conciousness, or the experience of being human, changes.

we can affect what it changes to as well as it affects what we experience.

right now now is particularly critical.

there is a split between the domain of power and the domain of human experience.

the domain of power is untouchable (but humans need to try to affect anyway).

the domain of consciousness, that is, living a human life, is touchable. if enough folks look the Other, the Stranger, in the eye and can hear what the stranger is saying, the present phony civil authority might morph into something that awknowledges human experience.

therefore no war in iraq.

for a nano=second.

Friday, September 2, 2005


visited steve and rachael today and watched a little CNN. from time to time it's a treat for me to watch the memes fly out, circle, and transform themselves to other memes. lotta meme action.

seems as if out here today is:

the 12 N.O. cops who resigned yesterday did so maybe because their payoff arrangements vanished.

the folks who were sent to the whatever you call it stadium where there was no food, water, medicine or authority were sent there to die. it could be looked at as an instant concentration camp. but not by me, i'm with you.

this nation has more homeless every year (i made that up. bet it's true). they are essentially invisible, pariahs, and are not given the same assumption of humanity we pay lip service to with familiar looking creatures. the new third world we saw on television were as good as homless already.

as ed schultz said yesterday, the job is to take the people to the resources, not vice-versa. is pushing some sort of arrangement where these folks stay as guests of households. you know, a house with people, perhaps a family, like we used to think everyone lived in. do you have a spare couch for a total stranger?

the resonance of the pictures from N.O. and iraq: ???

the sluggishness of the institution, any institution, compared with the human soul, no matter how battle-weary.

the old, old, maybe ancient but never as extreme as now separate domains of private property and human being.

so what can a poor boy do? make a bumper sticker.

Thursday, September 1, 2005

to me it is apparent that the oligarchy, the ruling class, the ownership class as george carlin calls them, are out to lunch. george bush the first did not know how to buy a gallon of milk at a grocery store cash register. they don't physically pick up the phone when it rings. they don't drive vehicles, just ride. they don't wait in lines.

but they are "helpless like a rich man's child..."

the real world is a flow chart to these psuedo-humans. and what flows is filthy lucre, not the force that through the green fuse drives. not energy, prana, or even a little feeling.

unfortunately, with the speed-up of time (don't tell me you haven't noticed), the development of thug into idiot has become accelerated.

all of this to say: WE HAVE NO LEADER. or leaders. as terrifying as katerna was, the incompetence of the feds or anyone else used to looking at the world from behind a podium is even more scary.

up against the wall, humanoids. go away. leave us alone.

maybe there is one alternative; drop every one of the oligarchs into a strange, big sprawling city at 3 in the morning with 50 cents in his - or her - pocket. for a year. with no access to power. those that survive can join the human rabble, the mob, where there is more true human feeling, empathy and compassion then in all of the mansions of the world.