Monday, November 28, 2005

hiked the desert preserve near scottsdale yesterday with fred jane and eric. nice day to do it, got a tad hot after noon. temp dropped around 10 degrees last night. eric got off on airplane this morning around six. i need to repack today and leave tomorrow for new mexico. finished taking antibiotics this morning. now i know a toothach is an infection, never had one before. maybe do some art galleries today.

still puzzling over the color on some of the pictures displayed on this site. i saved most of the jpgs in adobe 98 colorspace and am starting to think i should have used sRGB for windows people. how embarassing.

rather than fix them i think i'll just start a new blog next year after the smoke clears from xmas cacaphony. presently i am looking foward to locking myself up when i get home and painting.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

day after day after thanksgiving. hanging in there. looking foward to getting lost in new mexico.

it's fun to see the folks bundle up in fleecy winter wear while i'm wondering around in t-shirt.

finish with antibiotics today. maybe i'm fixed.

i'm using jane's dell pc with flat panel monitor. it looks and reads fine but my pictures are kind of ghastly. need to check this out when i get back to wherever i came from and i hope i don't need to change gamma settings on 10,000 pictures. below is one that doesn't look so bad.

what have i learned? a lot about dcs-v3 camera. goal: to be able to use it in the dark, kind of like field stripping a weapon. not there yet.

eric flys back tomorrow. i leave for NM the next day.

the longest i've been out of aville in sometime. anxious to get back to own bed. the good part is that i have built up quite a head of steam so to speak to paint. right now i plan on locking myself indoors for the resr of the winter and painting a picture every day. and a little piano practice of course.

what a calm and sane life.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

xgiving. pleasant day in phx. my dad is reading over my shoulder. expect to see oldest son eric in an hour or so. hope miss kitty is doing well in aville.

realize now that i was close to being very ill when i got to az with infected tooth. still on antibiotics.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

after a good night's sleep i remembered password to get webmail; i must say that there is a lot happening in the paris of the south, aville, my hometown so far.

been taking a photo or two, trying this and that with pencils. i left the book on anasazi chaco canyon at home, so i think i will spend a lot of time reading two manuals i brought, one for insulin pump, one for camera. i've fooled around with both long enough to need a mental upgrade.

tooth seems to be doing ok altho jaw feels like somebody clobbered me.

beautiful weather and dad seems to be doing super.

Friday, November 18, 2005

i' at a spiffy mall in prescott az. can't get webmail because i screwed up the password too many times. mandatory 24 hour wit before i can try again.

the big story so far is my teeth. when i was in chapel hill at doug's and nicole's i woke up about 3 in the morning with a bad pain, took aspirin and single malt scotch. next morning was better. pleasant visit with the edwards and the eli parsons, never did find nathan. natalie, all of 4 months old is a delight, very neat old soul. she seems to be having a good time getting used to this planet.

flight to phoenix was excellent, no problems. but while staying at fred and jane's toothache in the middle of the night convinced me to go to emergency room. got some codeine type pain pills - they helped a little - and took shuttle to prescott next day where dentist was waiting for me thanks to katy, dad's next door neighbor who works at dental office.

by this time i had no feeling in lower lip, and pain in jaw and neck.

dentist had a hell of a time getting tooth out, and i'm on vicodan and penicillin for ten days. when i got to my father's place i was having chills and hot flashes and some confusion as to exactly what was going on.

seem to be on the mend, will access email tomorrow if i've got password figured out.

remember: life is just a bowl of cherries, but you got to dig for them.

Monday, November 14, 2005

testing testing trying to post remotely. woke up yesterday unsure of leaving town or gettingh toothach fixed and juggling schedule. sat i was pole-axed by sudden tooth dysfunction. i awoke sunday feeling it was possible to be possible so here i am in chapel hill, all is well and i'm heading tinto town for last minute errandsd.

Sunday, November 13, 2005


Saturday, November 12, 2005


mmmm...sketchbook kipple.

today's departure delayed until tomorrow. all the loose ends i attempted to tie off yesterday became a giant knot.

developing a tooth ache. not a good sign for a trip to alien corn.

when i restart this blog on my return i think i'm going to skip visuals for awhile. i should be printing these things, not reducing to 72 dpi, tossing them up to the net and forgetting about them. plus the written word is stirring somewhere in my mind and i'm going to write again.

about what? doesn't matter much does it.

today's thought: thoughts without a thinker. view without a viewer.

i am picking up (as the psychics on AM radio say) a movement in the culture towards the non-dual mode, the pointless point of view, the non-attachment to results, the faith that even so the doing is worth doing for it's own sake and happens with or without "me".

but mostly with 10,000 "me"s, even though thought requires consciousness but consciousness does not require thought: it just includes it.

Friday, November 11, 2005

in a flurry and a hurry i'm trying to leave town tomorrow. for three weeks. have a lingering cold and an inevitable lot of last minute loose ends to tie up.

for some unknown reason i always - well lately always - have a difficult time getting ready to leave the ranch. it's probably not accurate to say that when i was younger i'd go anywhere at the drop of a hat, but that's how i dimly remember that time of my life.

now the world of 10,000 things is like a giant tarbaby i can't seem to extricted myself from.

anyway i'll be out west for 3 weeks, one of which should place me wondering about northern new mexico. the rest of the time i'll spend at various upscale spas, mud baths, sceances, and a seminar on "you can't have your question & answer it too". oh, and i'll be christmas shopping in scottsdale and santa fe for the most useless and beautiful gee-gaws i can find. probably write a novel or two while i'm at it.

so while this is not the last post before i hit the door it's close to it.

now if i could just find my fuzzy jammies with feet. i can't leave without that survival gear.

Thursday, November 10, 2005


first picture from new - latest - sketchbook. not too sure what this one means if any thing. probably worth a redo.

the election: things like this give it a worrysome aspect:

Schwarzenegger Hits Snag at Polling Place - Los Angeles Times
"Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger showed up to his Brentwood neighborhood polling station today to cast his ballot in the special election — and was told he had already voted.

"Elections officials said a Los Angeles County poll worker had entered Schwarzenegger's name into an electronic voting touch screen station in Pasadena on Oct. 25. The worker, who was not identified, was testing the voting machine in preparation for early voting that began the next day."

Wednesday, November 9, 2005


jackson building. my photoshop practice for this morning. on the monitor the graded sky bands which is the only downside of using jpg pro instead of photoshop to produce jpg. on the other hand it's a 35k file. now on to piano practice.

think i've got a friendly neighbor to take care of miss kitty while i'm gone. a real relief, i had visions of taking her with me on a long trip in a paper bag.

should be able to leave saturday morning if i don't drop a stitch between now and then. at "deconstructing the seeker" meeting monday evening the subject of deadlines came up. i have many deadlines to meet before saturday and it's funny how i resent them.

here are a few sentences from book i am reading, doing nothing: coming to the end of the spiritual search by steven harrison:

"the concerned man brings a chicken to the psychiatrist, saying, 'doctor, it is my brother, he thinks he is a chicken.'"

"...the mind is a self-created web of neuroses with the appearance of conflict, not unlike the brother's delusion that he is a chicken.

"the brother's delusion does not exist, because the brother does not exist. our conflict does not exist, because we do not exist."
"the seeker, after a long and difficult journey and many hardships, reaches the moutaintop where resides the guru in solitude. 'what, master, is the meaning of life?' the supplicant asks.

"'life, my son, is a bowl of cherries.' replies the guru.

"the seeker is outraged after all he has been through to reach the guru and lets the guru know what he thinks of his answer.

"the guru considers for a moment, and says, 'you mean it's not?'"

i like these anecdotes, though i admit that posting them here out of context makes the appear "far out" especially the "we do not exist" part. what exists is, and is now. humans have the habit, or predisposition, or something, that makes us experience a multitude of things, noe of which is now.

Tuesday, November 8, 2005

lately i seem to be thinking superfast or wondering off in a dream. it's getting hard to tell the differance.

Monday, November 7, 2005


craggy gardens saturday.
i have 5 days left to learn how to play the piano and get ready for trip west. maybe i should turn off the computer.

thanks to the syntax of things two CDs of mine are streaming from here. check it out.

Sunday, November 6, 2005


picture of jim walking either in or out of the mountains. he's on his way back to the compound, left early this morning. i'm on my way to a nap.

which i didn't take. visited mr. b., and then got really sidetracked with re-linking missing pictures from the archive. every now and then blogger gets very wierd... i'm doing some useful things while i try to re-plant archives.

...forget about the archives, i'm up against disappearing templates, arcane tags, and manifold brain fog.

Saturday, November 5, 2005


took this pic yesterday at dr. r's place, the pigeon hangs out at pritchard park. most pleasant visit. jim and i are headed for parkway.

later - made it up to the parkway. walked to craggy gardens. beautiful weather. i seem to be coming down with a bug, but enjoyed the air and friendliness of the folks who we met strolling here and there. grabbed a bunch of shots most of which seem usable.

during yesterday's walk thru the paris of the south picked up a book at the library about chaco canyon that i look forward to reading before i visit the place which i'll do hopefully with geoff s. in december. also got new blank notebook for pencil and ink, i finished two of them last week. looking at the floor right now i'd guess i've got maybe 12 or so done over the last couple of years.

coming week: stay in bed, drink chicken soup, get well for trip mid-november. pack. figure out some way to take care of kat while i'm gone. fix front storm window in case it ever gets cold again. try to make it to last piano class. get a little more memory for camera. loop the loop. forget stuff. watch a cloud or two. walk everyday and get nowhere. learn how to play guitar in open "g". get lost. get saved. remember the good old days and forget them.

more chicken soup please.

Thursday, November 3, 2005


what does this picture mean? nothing except it happened.

i have a dental appt this morning. my friend jim is due in the afternoon, taking one of his rare foray's out of his compound. my 10 year old 17 inch color monitor has started winking and blinking again. i spent most of yesterday organizing pictures, frames, paints, and way too many papers.

spent an hour or two in the evening trying to figure out what musical productions i have made or almost made. such chaos. did get rid of about one gig of pieces of tunes.

i wish i had something to say about the world, or maybe i don't wish that, in fact now that i've said it i'm sure i don't. did find a whole stash of more scribbles i'll have to deal with. for instance:

"strangers approach
&call out my name
the wind is howling
& nothings the same
the soul is in hiding
& God is asleep
i'm lost in the world
i keep trying to keep."

so i am living with a thousand unfinished images, tunes, songs, and poems. the eternal dilettante.

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

here are 3 poems from a book i've been working on.

This Wheel is Real

Driving down 40
Clutch going fast
Empty traffic silence
Better get some gas.

Overcast highway
My hands on the wheel
Rest area ready
Just how I feel.

Late afternoon light
Dark water’s in the air
Forget about my map
Its pouring rain somewhere.

Insides bounce around
Front seat full of dust
Past the still horizon
Minutes filled with rust.

No reason to hurry
No place left to go
Highway keeps on humming
"Told you so, told you so".

Roaring static of the road
Seat belts locked and loaded
Remind me of the looks I got
When my head exploded.

Invisible worlds
Pushed by the hood,
I follow the highway
Destination understood.

Come Again?

Your eyes notice value
The thing you are worth
Qualified madman
Get down to earth.

Payment is rendered
You now own the skies
Enjoy it for minutes
Time really flies.

When nobody’s business
Began my demise
I struggled with flowers
And unusual eyes.

While you were gone
I just couldn’t wait
The world moved on
Took me and my fate.

Ready Already?

Seven in the morning
People going to work
I’ve been up all night
Going berserk.

Animals ready
Let’s load up the zoo
You call me
And I’ll call you.

Made for a Wait

Crossing the street
In some dark town
The asphalt hums,
The eyes look down.

Indolent corners
Made for a wait,
Moments stuffed in boxes,
Telegrams too late.

Streets like dramas
Are full of some plot.
A flash of the jungle
And I’m glued to the spot.

He Got Old Quick

Hands of exhaustion,
Glimpses of Hell,
Don’t worry about me,
I’ll never tell!

Harvest injunction,
Demanding defeat
From others about you
Fast on their feet.

Years in the yard,
Feet wet in the snow,
I tried too hard
And couldn’t let go.

What became of us
Now is what we are
A minute too soon
An hour too far.

Coming back home
I stumble and lurch:
A mad man passing
In front of the church.

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

oh-oh. today's idiotgram seems to indicate travel to a destination. or maybe not. because in my heart of hearts i don't think there is a destination.

but there is a road.

my writer friends are slowly dragging me back to the written word. here's a cryptogram i wrote last evening sitting on the porch in west asheville waiting for some seekers to arrive to deconstruct seeking:

some words are heard both far and wide
same words sung on the other side
twilight syllables gleam like teeth
darkness opens and i fall asleep

in these woods there's only air
empty winds flow everywhere
abandoned footsteps left behind
invent a path: make up a mind.

someone leaves without a thought
cerebral flickers that are bought
and sold by travelers over there
somewhere where there is no where.

transparent shadows pace the night
there is no sleep but that's all right
day and night are both the same
but they both give me different names.