late summer. the dog days are fading. i don't know how many more summers i can take, but i'll takem all.

so i was writing about the coming "big thing", the branded spectacular, iran.

it is apparent to me that bush's war is going exactly according to plan. a long war. nebulous enemy. corporate prescence in the middle east.

except for the grumbling and mumbling of the growing dispossessed, and that seems to be a minor detail taken care of by endless wordplay.

just as bush's war was on the table way before he stole the election (not bush really it was the whole kit and cabel stole it, from the supreme court on down thru the oligarchy), so the iranian phase is not only in place but happening right now. when some spectacular move manifests it might even keep the dems from winning the presidency. not that it matters a whole lot, they seem to have done nothing since bush stole the election, nothing before they captured congress, not much since. topic for another day, but can you say economic pressure, personal blackmail, threats and dirty tricks?

anyway iran will be a whole different thing. probably the most pro-american populice in the middle east. they don't speak arabic but farsi. if the CIA hadn't replaced their government with the shah in the early 50s they would not have dealt with reagon, agreeing to release the hostiges on the day of his inaugeration, but then again they got weapons for this.

today is my youngest son's birthday. nathan: it seems like yesterday when i was barreling down the mountain in a dodge longbed headed for the hospital where he was born about 15 minutes after we got there. i am very proud of him, he has been thru a lot, and i emphasize the past tense: thru, not stuck in some in some zone he could remain in for life.

more political rants later today.

talking points (use only in case of emergency)

1. the world is becoming more uniform. local flavors everywhere of bandit rule, pirates, mercenarys, death camps, the disappeared, the economic wage slavery, the dispossesed wondering around humming "gimmeee shelter".

2.since reagon, maybe much further back, the "guv'ment", behind many closed doors, has morphed from govt "for the people by the people" to govt for and by profit and corporations. 500 families run most of the board of director's of the fortune 500.

3. the consumer culture, and the continuous transfer of wealth it entails, has become by constantly one upping itself, a sort of cartoon, a meme, a joke. most humans now look a little perplexed at govt instead of as in the past considering themseves enclosed within it, part of it and protected.

4. specifically, us americans find ourselves separated and fragmented, communities gone, implicit threat of excommunication by the state for speaking out and consequent loss of economic viability. surrvaillance, data mining, the cell phone acting as a microphone piped to god knows what, road rage, justice a set of choreographed moves, a highly stylized domain with no room for the human being, hanging by your fingernails paycheck to paycheck, all in the glitter of false gold at twlight.

5 about iraq and the 2008 political election con...

taken on a walk along the swannanoa river, part of warren wilson collage which is a much underated institution.

last friday evening at r&d's. i was so exhausted that instead of going to town as we had talked about, i was for sitting in rocking chair and mumbling about this and that.

about to go outside this morning and finish caulking cammper. raintight. i think i've got a raised platform for sleeping in mind that will work. requires trip to big box building supplies and maybe target's.

other events that may occur today: trip to greenlife for carrots and vegetables and first attempt to "juice" vegetables.

finish fooling w/ images. this project has forced me to organize and find the good ones. and the software that processes them, while slick, is not real user-friendly.

was about to go to t's yesterday afternoon when i was hit with the perfect storm of fatigue. perfect 2 hour nap followed, i was wide awake when i awoke - not a commmon occurence - and continued to work on past dark. zowee.

ornimental doodad done early this morning. hyperfocused nearly the whole day yesterday. the present image archive is coming along but a lot of the images are placeholders, and i am dropping back to the print files which are larger and sharper. they should all be in place by the end of the weekend.

after about a year trying to come up with a bumper sticker that says it all i came up with a bumper sticker that says not all but as close to it as i can come. as an extreme intuitive i'm satisfied.

after this post i'm going to take a walk. my resistance to this is not easy to overcome, don't know why but it is.

i'll spend the day cleaning up image archive, making it super spiffy or whatever. slept like a log last nite, probably because after a sleepless night the night before i worked solid thru yesterday, sealing camper against rain and bringing 2 current projects to penultimate stage. i'm laying off piano and dobro practice for a few days, tendonitus (no spell checker) has kicked in.

one of those nights when sleep was scarce. i'm a little punchy at the moment. a couple more non-optional maintenance tasks and i may go back to bed.

i have taken the first jump into process of site transformation into gallery of sight and sound. click on "image archive" above - the circle upper left - and let me know if it works.

you'll need flash which i hope you have. the flash player on mac OS 9 doesn't play, but who uses it nowdays but me?

beautiful morning. maybe the endless summer is really over. i hope to have image gallery updated and a whole lot spiffier by the end of the day.

petrified kat. found during quasi-stroll.

looks like i'm stranded during labor day break. so i will back up and redo this site once and for all. or retreat into catatonia.

so this might be my last daily post i hope. if it were, what would i say?

the kulture is past the tipping point. all institutions world wide, the western model having spread everywhere, are corrupt and in place to serve greed, power, and blind control. we are all in great danger because of this. the ax could fall any day.

a good idea, human creation of workable forms of organizing effort, has degenerated into the criminal overworld, sleek, glossy and untouchable. this is a new development not encountered by the human denizen before.

it is also natural in that things, all things, change and develop into the novel and new. the unanticipated, the unexpected.

the reaction to this varies. denial, hypocrasy, head in the sand, rightous and helpless indignation, nihilism, hedonism, depression, running amuck.

toxic life, complete with bar-b-ques and powerball gizmos.

some retreat; some plunge over the tipping point. the rule of law morphs into elaborate rituals of nonsense. some attempt to use the instruments of the past to wake up. fear, felt or unfelt, rules.

digression: i wonder how much force and blackmail, the threat of death, is up and running in the small circles of power that assume they rule events. ie, are there any left in power in govt., corporate rulers who are in reality slaves to fear, who would like to break out but afraid of the consequences to thier lkife and livlihood? the takeover by the oligarchs must bother some who hang on by a thread to personal integraty but fear for thier existence and the existence of their families should they "rock the boat."

i am serious as a heart attack. rock the boat and you are kicked off. don't and the boat sinks.

remain in your cave quietly while giants roam the countryside pillaging. go out of the door and drive by power extinguishes another human.

the other day i ran across the statement that all tyrants seem to have the knack for manipulating symbols. i think "signs" is the more accurate word, but maybe not.

anyway to hell with it, let's get on with it. this too will morph.

good day yesterday got a lot of sadly neglected living maintainence chores halfway done. working on putting up pix that have appeared on these pages but are in no archive. too many twists and turns to the process to go into here. i think i have most of it working except for a "return to modern peasant" back button. i have chosen, natch, not the simplest way to do this. plan to add flas and mp3s. for now, see if it works.

happy birthday sister jane.

i'm revamping this site so you may see or not see anything here for the next week or so.

first order of business: the daily images i create to post to this thing have not been viewable in any archive since april. now they are, go here to see or re-see them. this is just one of many steps.

one thing about modern times is that those of us who fool around with making things that run on computers or the web are faced with no endpoint: we have to just keep rolling. they say no piece of art is ever finished, and neither is any piece of code, process, image etc meant to be seen on a computer monitor. after awhile it either becomes second nature to keep on keeping on or in frustration say to hell with the whole thing. neither position is satisfactory, but a whole lot about the nature of personal life, experience and time can be gleaned from this situation.

since i can't seem to upload pictures anymore, don't have the energy to figure out why, and have very little to say, it seems like a good time to pull the plug on this blog. it will be turned into a display for images, music and animation, but give me a little time. i'm going to take a nap first.

photo taken yesterday in the shady cool gloom of douglas waterfall. it may have been the hottest day of the year (again) but the air was clear, streams of cool flowing all about. what a relief.

got tired of that so i did this. i am going to stick w/ flash for awhile. had a great day in the woods, waterfall, maybe 30 minute drive, ditto walk. cool and shady. lots of pictures i haven't looked at yet.

comment of the day:
need feet on the street

piece of a watercolor that has been hanging on my wall for a long time. something called for me to "finish" it, you're looking at a close up of the result.

up early, a little of thisnthat. posting the above because you should hear it. recorded i think at carnagie hall when bob was around,,, 23 years old?

the good, the true, the beautiful (plato).

yow. i drew a small pencil drawing yesterday and it turned into german expessionist springtime while i wasn't looking.

foto taken last sunday.


since i am moving so slow, i'll find something to post here.

foto of great feast that took place at nicole's.

i'm back at the bunker. i only lost 2 things during trip, thermorest mattress and stainless steel thermos, both important and essential accoutrements of the homeless lifestyle. they are both at nicole's so i'll recover.

spent several days with children and grand children, glad to say all becoming their various selves nicely. but i tell you what, it is a crowd of individuals, a big crowd, real individuals, and i was definitely outnumbered, couldn't get a word in edgewise. which is ok because at this point i have little to say. except i lovem all.

i'm out here, back in a week.

photo taken somewhere in the last week.

what do you do if you live in a nation-state that has experienced a military coup? become a freedom fighter.

what do you do if you live in a nation-state that has experienced an invisible coup?
become an invisible freedom fighter.

memory of trip back from cousin moriah's. but i think she spells it "myria".

ponders to point at:

will there be an "election" in 2008?

will any of the present contenders be on either ticket?

or will a man on a white horse come galloping in from the brandname world?

have we invaded iran yet? (the most pro western population in the near east)

if you followed the money involved in the iraqi war, what would you find?

if someone said that "our" federal and state governments had been hijacked by criminals, would that be hyperbole or understatement?

what would you do if such a hypothetical were the case RIGHT NOW?

my blogger set up is falling apart. no spell checker.

woke up in the cool of early morning and feel great. no fighting through the confusion of crazed metabolism. finished oil above yesterday and immediately began reworking watercolor that has been hanging on wall for a long time. it is on watercolor canvas and i don't think i sealed it with sparay fixitive so re-work should work.

i'm the only person left living in carolyn's 2 apt quadplexes. very quiet. just me and rabbit friend who i see each evening. even when i drive truck in back of brick structures he stays put. i think he may consider himsel invisible by not moving, but on the other hand when i talk to him he loosens up and nibbles like rabbits do.

i've been chipping away at excess foam i used to seal water leaks on camper. a long slow tasks whic suits me fine in the evening hours when the heat slips away.

the coming week will be busy. my oldest children, eric and nicole (twins) will be passing thru friday on their way to cullowhee for high school reunion. the plan is for them to stop over sunday on their way back to chapel hill. i'll drive down early monday. it will be good, no even better than good, to visit all four of children at the same time for a few days. at my age and situation i can't help but note the subliminal song in the back of my head. "this may be the last time, i don't know..."
i take note but do not take it - or anything else - literally.

living in this minicomplex by myself is pleasant. i am reminded of the part in "bladerunner" where the action takes place at the toymaker's, a vast dark empty reminent of the past that he occupies. absolutely no resemblence except fo the emptiness. when i get the inrention i'll troll the net to find out who owns the place and what is going on, but i really am not all that interested. i'm as ready as i'll ever be for the next phase which will be, of course, a total surprise unlike any mental picture i could summon up of "the future".

pleasant visit w/ tom d. this afternoon.

things slipping in & out of my head like "personal experience", "identity", the real as what lasts, its locus between two dreams - subject and object.

me, i'm tired.

heading out tomorrow for cosin myria's.

nice long walk in the woods yesterday w/ richard. i think it was the hottest day of the year so far, but a short drive up the mountain and walking a trail off the parkway it wasn't hot at all. i think richard is onto something. he uses this sort of getaway for a short visit, maybe read a book, sit. more like the walks i used to take at big ridge, hit the door, go outside, and stroll.

picture above i took while "up there". this is the first picture i loaded, worked on, and uploaded from imac. i'll have to work on process to make smaller jpg's which i pretty much have down on os 9.

finished foaming the seal on camper shell last night. it better work. now for cleanup which is going to be tricky, working on very narrow space between truck cab and camper.

took this in the madness of bele chere crowd.

remember - i do - when the citizens of the USA were depicted as john q. milquetoast? a little meek guy with the world for a head, a mustach and a cap. usually with a question mark over his head and a slightly confused expression.

this has something, though not everything, to do with the notion of "personal identity".

then came, let's see, "consumer". then came "audience". then came "perfomer".

each change hammering away at the idea of who i am. part of the personality reacts to these changes even if the thinking mind is unaware of them. right now "personhood" is being deconstructed, and all of us identify, easy or not, with some smaller group then the nation-state. and yet the world of the nation-state rolls on, with caracatures out of sitcoms driving.

foto from last weekend. one of so many i've taken walking up sunset mountain.

big changes here. about to finish (?) upgrading camper so it doesn't leak. took a load of trash to landfill. gave away all 100Mb zip disks plus SCSI drive to young man from w. asheville who wants to use disks in keyboard sampler, a good use for them.

now have password on imac, have not yet succeeded in sharing files. working on gigantic flash/quicktime light show. have no idea what i'm doing. still searching for slide show app so i can regroup images, add all since april which presently you cannot find.

then, with all processes intact, i will produce cartoon visionary sound and light coda on dvd, my statement. i first thought of calling it on the road, but instead it will be named off the road. a dyslexic look at the cultural conundrum of living with dreams in a dream.

then i'm going to pull blog on blog. turn the sight into "stuff".

electricity disappeared for about 5 hours yesterday. it seems to have mangled preview function on a couple of os 9 apps.

so the evening was dark, moody, and dead quiet.

i can't hear out of right ear. must fix.

but i have to put garbage out right now.

i have no idea what it is. done yesterday morning.

it's about 10PM & i just got back from my first half-hour walk, i mean the first of a series that will last the rest of my life.

ninian visited today, it rained, we did get a walk in up sunset mountain. played a little music.

didn't go to Bele Chere yet. plan is to catch it tomorrow morning. i just want to visit the art vendors, see what's up.

this post is going to straighten out archives. or not.

{later} not.

in the slave new world of rebranding, if it's not one thing...

my son eli communing with the spirit of linville gorge.

if i can get thru the day you will find news, opinion, urban myth, and other assorted items of the day right here.

mainly about the Criminal Overworld.

treasure map found near toe river. i didn't pick it up, i may be crazy but i'm no fool.

lately i've been overwhelmed. by everything. i think it is probably a passing phase. but then isn't everything?

the archives to this site stop around april. i must have blundered over some numerical limit.

this means you can't see the pictures i've done on a daily basis since then.

some of the best i've done IMHO. so my next step is to redo the image gallery to include them and while i'm at it add a lot of color prints i've been turning out.

otherwise out of it, isolated, solitary, in a dream (wasn't that the name of a bix biederbeck hit?).

modified pencil drawing i did a few days ago camping out at toe river. besides hauling stuff back and forth across the creek, i did absolutely nothing but one pencil drawing, the results of which you see above.

ever thought about "toxic institutions"? i have. why are they toxic? they developed into a form where the negitive aspects of this manner of organizing human effort have shoved out the positive. what are some of these aspects? power without judgement, turf battles, back stabbing, gossip, refusal to listen, group non-think. like your worst memories of high school.

what could in a sunny fair world replace institutions? govt., education, hospitals, corporations?

just because i don't know the answer to the question does not mean there is no question.

all i can see to do is on a personal level nourish and practice the frail sprouts of compassion and fairness that struggle to grow under the towering canopy of sleaze, greed, and situation comedy we all know so well. create space for the conciously personal and ignore the crumbling institutions.

remember the 60's? "turn on etc."?

now it's time to "turn off your tv".

pictire taken awhile back thru window of yancey county fortress of solitude, hideaway of "the nail". i am aiming to get there today and spend awhile.

when i get back i'm re-doing this site, music, pictures, animation, maybe a quasi-blog tucked away somewhere.

today's pic, drawn from a hat and played with. it's hard work as the bushoid says.

haven't heard from son eli, whether this weekend we'll meet somewhere to camp in the mountains. my fall back is yancey county sunday for 2 or 3 days. finished sealing camper with foam. lots of foam. i lost the little spray nozzle so had to go into tight places w/ can upside down and made a mess, although i hope it's a water tight mess.

went to DDL last evening, hadn't been in awhile, what a pleasant group of folks, all busy doing "creative" stuff. attended prescreening of 25 minute documentary by jaime whose last name i forget. great title which i also forget, but right up my alley, something about "fast slow". the arc of the story line was pretty clear, and it definitely left one wanting to see and hear more (a giant plus). some of the captioning and fade to black transitions seemed inconsistant and one abrupt cut where it played like something had been chopped out of interview were the only nits i noticed.

watercolor i finished yesterday. went pretty fast.

what doesn't?

have large used canvas primed and sanded. i'll start some kind of landscape tomorrow.

yesterday - or maybe the day before - i happened to be working with the radio down low in the other roon tuned to wncw playing the matt mattan talk show. don't know much about him, don't listen to his show, but he comes across as right of center. anyway he went off on a long diatribe talking about why fox would call the war bush's war.

this delighted me and made me realize what a powerful cultural influence this blog is, since i suggested calling the war bush's war a couple of years ago.

interesting item on would be car thieves who were stopped cold by manual gear and clutch:

"'The kid was just sitting in the car trying to start it but he had no idea what to do. '"

so if you are over 20 and baffled by the tech world, remember it works both ways.

nicolas jon, newly arrived on the planet. first son of my nephew jon and kindra. i'd like to talk to him in about 70 years, just to see if either one of us has much to say at that point.

fortunately i'll probably get the chance before then.

mr. d. playing "things have changed". don't know how it will fit on page but let's try it. i'm learning this song on keyboards, watch this space.

meanwhile my nephew jon and kindra are new parents, brand new baby boy, mom dad and baby all doing super. congratulations to all.

i keep cranking these out. not sure why. i begin each day by building one. maybe i am not yet fully awake and forgotten dreams are at work. maybe it's like morning yoga. post-nocturnal graffitti.

i have a bunch of color prints to make, and would be far more usefully busy were i to attend to these. and i do, but slowly, while the daily mostly low-res images i throw up here are effortless.

the days of summer waft towards dogdays: the mornings are shadowless, no sharp light. toned down. street is empty, few cars parked, no traffic automotive or otherwise. my favorite kind of day, brooding, slow, moody.

it's the celtic in me, drawn towards the mist, the damp, the low spots, springs, hollows, ponds, branches. unknown yet familiar topography of half-light.

perhaps a taste of the formless. i was told many years ago that it would not be so good for me to remain in the formless for very long.

if that is true and i have no idea whether it is or not, i am saved by the hard edges of the day's non-optional activites, too many to list here. i might even get some of them done before dusk.

this one flipped out of nowhere this morning.
it might stick around.

pleasant visit with jim yesterday afternoon. conversation can be so real when it's not pre-fabricated by manners or strictures or structures of the day.

this is scan of watercolor i finished last week. a quickie. finished w/ oil pastels.

pretty clear that it is the result of the urge to "make a mark". like small children do. or the inhabitants of the paleolithic era.

and like these examples, i reckon the ego's part in this desire is present, but does not account for the urge. there can come a time when, deaf, dumb and blind, the ego gives up and hands over the controls to some unkown but felt presence. result: an ochre handprint 150 feet below the earth's surface, in a cave where there is no light.

in a non-human animal, you might call it "instinct".

change of scene: denver circa '68. a bar called "clancey's". i am sitting at the bar listening to a young woman ask an older guy whose paintings hang on the wall how he came to paint.

after a short pause and a puff on a cigerette he said "... well you start as a baby pushing baby-shit around."

crowd watching fireworks from vance square or whatever the main intersection is called in asheville. how i got there is long story but it was a good if quiet crowd.

this morning's effort.

uneasy sleep last night. fell out about six in the evening, couldn't stay awake. around 3 i came too, finally got up at six.

you know i could post from today until i leave the planet the memories of the day before: paid bills, listened to bobby d., looked for my hat. like that.

or thoughts and questions of the day, like why don't i have any questions.

is the question still a question if it has an answer?

you can't have your question and answer it too.

does a dream have a beginning and an end?

what about an endless series of dreams?

neil young: "i am just a dreamer, and you are just a dream". is the reverse equally meaningful/meaningless?:
"i am just a dream, and you are just a dreamer".

who is he talking to? who am i talking to?

is there conciousness without unconciousness? what about form, why does it pull me in and push me away? is the experience of human life part of the changing kosmos or apart?

both.

both what?

exile on main street.

today's virtual blink is from a pleasant visit i had w/ r and d yesterday after running the guantlet of tasks in town. drawing and some photo.

where have all the flowers gone?

the trucks all went thataway, including this magnificent example i drove longer than i will ever drive one again, barring a very unlikely series of events. (tip of the hat to jim for foto);

the great house cleaning, i mean leaning, is about done. i'm down to wondering thru rooms and depositing small loose objects in a basket to dispose of.

maybe i'll find a couple of pocket knives that have vanished.

it has come to my attention that email address on this page is dysfunctional. by the time you read or don't read this it should work.

today's idiotgram. seems a little chaotic. that makes it "spot on".

got a call from karamia this morning. hadn't heard from her in a long time but as iusual she had her own take on the oil painting i put up a few days ago. she liked it, but next time if there is one i better put a little "coral" down. this would put me in the proper stage of development as imagined by don beck.

started a small watercolor last night which didn't work at all. time to get out the oil pastels.

dozed thru the night last night, in and out of coast2coast. art was excited because the release of an affadavit by someone who worked in the military in roswell in '48 and specified that it was not to be released until after his death finally convinced him that we have been visited. he called it the biggest news story in history.

got microphone going again running under windows XP. there was a "mute" checkbox checked about 20 menus down in the spighetti. puttering with movie i'm making w/ vegas, in learning mode, started all over again this morning. washed dishes. mopped floors too.

breakthroughs left and right. i'll spend the afternoon packing and organizing supplies for travel (to anywhere). medications, dental stuff, diabetic stuff in triplicate: i want it all stashed and ready to go.


in case i ever get out the front door.

today was kind of .... inert. solid state. nothing moved.

i'm thinking down is as good as up when it comes to time. really. one calls and needs the other.

and i'm asking why the links on this site appear in different colors on different systems.

woke up confused at five. listened to this very interesting interview by studs terkel of b. dylan in
1963.

those of us who spent time in the world of jazz may remember the term "moldy figs" applied in the 40's and 50's to the audiences that liked the older, pre-bop kind of music. i suppose the same could be thought to characterize the listeners today who think of bob embalmed in the 60's.

disregarding for the moment his recent work, as good or better than his classic days, take a listen to the above interview. despite the less than stellar audio quality, the hair on the back of my neck rose listening to "bob dyan's dream". he was probably 22-23. there are tens or hundreds of thousands of folks who can relate to this dream.

roaring back tp thye world of factoids, check what is in thye pharmaceutical pipeling today:
surprise.

yesterday was a gold star day: i finished oil i have been puttering with which you see above. i started this a few weeks ago. rushed outside and took a foto of it which worked out well. usually i wait 6 months for an oil to dry and scan it. anyway i had fun with this one. i looked at an early painting by kandinsky to start and then never looked at it again. as is my habit i'll start another today, a large watercolor representing i have no idea what. i will maybe when i finish.

spent the rest of the day moving, sorting stuff and got a good deal done. by tonight i should be finished. following the nail's dictum that to find misplaced stuff clean up i found a bunch of missing objects, in fact all of them except jaegermeister hat. they are in a large box and amount to a lot of objects. all necessary to my manner of surviving,

began loading truck with camping gear. by end of day my intention is to have house cleaned vacuumed dusted and windows cleaned. truck loaded with goodwill objects.

now what about my inner life, the important domain, development of psyche? not much to say but it's ok, maybe even excellent. maybe there is nothing to say about it.

listening to tom hartman on air america in the other room i heard some good stuff. one was that edwards wanted to go after the contested election and i presume and hope some of the earlier republican twisted nonsense that has proven to work wonders over the past 30 years. i imagine that the campaign manager had something to do with it to. one of the enigmas of that election was the demogratis silence in response to so many tricks of the trade. edwards could have squashed then in a couple of sound bytes.

so i went to tom's site and discovered he is also an educater interested in ADHD who is a proponent of a genetic theory of the disorder, something along the lines that it helped one to survive in the hunter-gatherer culture.

ever feel like an aboriginee in the etomological sense of the word? originated outside this place and time? me too and the above explains why.

this morning's gizmo is kind of special. i believe it was taken on the blue ridge parkway. anyway as you can see something had just happened, not sure but i think it was the trail of a fallen angel. i tramped towards the landing spot but all i found was a bunch of old and empty blue ribbon cans.

of course that convinced me that it absolutely was the crash landing spot of a fallen angel. no doubt in my mind.

today's gestalt-o-gram seems allright to me. i'll accept it.

i'm listening to today's buzz in the other room, macneil-leher report or whatever it is called today. talking about diabetes. one factoid: 15,000 new cases of type I a year, more than expected. i assume and hope that this is per capita or it is meaningless.

another: average diabetic costs medicare $30k. in a year? no, i think they meant lifetime. but here is where it gets tricky. talking about blindness, amputations. yes, it costs more to lose your eyesight today than it used to.

but this statistic would have more meaning by an order of magnatude if it were split into cost and number of type I diabetes and ditto for type II.

so excuse me while i write them my standard plea to rename these 2 diseases. this would help clarify the confusion everyone i know not personally involved with one of these two calamities suffers from.

quickie this morning. slept like a baby. this morning i send some framed pictures to eric and nicole, my two oldest (twins), go grocery shopping, pick up laundry, scott camper top foward about 1/4 inch, and maybe hit the road for a short brath of air.

kyle lined the bits and bytes in a row for router etc. yesterday. last night i could not get wireless to wire, but i'm not going to get into it. i am adopting kyle's approach, which is to stare blankly at hardware for a moment, then a click or 2 and it's back working.

working on a color print that i hope will look as good as i have in mind. also - i can't help it - finishing up an oil, mainly so i can start a watercolor.

jim j. if you happen upon this i don't have yr telephone number.

today's whiz-bang. did a lot to it but it doesn't show. not the spectacular shot i had in mind.

badthing is on his way over here. i hope he can straighten out the cyber-spighetti i've got wrapping me up.

later -

man it's good to watch someone who knows what he is doing. kyle came over and breezed through all kinds of screens and i think all computers can talk to each other and the web.

i'll get out in the country tomorrw insh'allah.

amazing. after a morning of slapdash running around mostly to beat post office, i took a break and did this, reworked an old photo. it was easy and no effort required, kind of like going fishing, meditative.

mmm... found this taped to my wall. thank you lily.
otherwise a few changes. after an all too common and typical week of wrestling with cables, router, related stuff, lots of it, i'm retiring from the fray. i hate the smell of smoldering synapse, so a step back is in order.

besides, i need to wash the dishes.

photo from yancey county. i worked on it a couple of hours and got a beautiful print.

on a weeklong marathon it appears, dodging and weaving between hookin up os 9, os X, and windoze XP. sorting thru the usual dottle, (pk dick's term), papers, obscure notes on napkins, bills, maps, prints, technical documentation, room by room, or maybe i will say pile by pile. right now it's one big pile of [shudder] stuff. adjusting and readjusting camper so it fits truck, and is rain tight.

lovely evening out and i thought i'd make an infrequent appearance at DL downtown. instead i'll go to library in the morning to return a mystery (that word again), leicester for laundry, pay bills and get up on the parkway heading south.

working on a little surprise movie for small circle of friends. new software, every move raises questions, but this i don't mind because i'm strolling up a learning curve. but routers, browsers, tcp/ip i have a different feeling about. i've already been up this road many times and i still don't get it.

my shrink told me yesterday that the bout i went thru last week was a profound trauma leaving me with even less brain cells.

so i'm cruising in the moment, everything is new, inexplicable, indeed inexpressible. strictly up to me and my partners, the daemons of yore, spirits of the low places, guardians of fools. they are big on curve balls and the old shell game. when i think i know what i'm doing they love to present me with chaos and inexplicable conundrums. for my own good mind you. or at least for something's good.

i've transited from liberal democrat to post-political, post-institutional being. the mechanisms of the manifest world are broke, lucky us and in our lifetime too. so while the last waltz takes place i'll be ginning up new world-views - or maybe ancient world-views - in which personal experience is lived and not displaced by teetering metaphysical branded structures. does this make me an outlaw?

or an alien prescence in the world of ghosts?

chances are that chance is all. is meta-confusion the abscence of order, or the absence of fiction? is the writing on the wall comprehensible, or is it divne graffetti designed to push us past understanding?

these questions are about all i have left, and i don't expect answers.