still plowing thru "stuff" from all shelves, horizontal surfaces, closets, boxes. lots of surprises. one was the objects above, carefully sealed in a small envelope. i'm thinking of taking them to pawn shop.

a doodle is a doodle is a doodle.

having a good day, already got most of art paraphilnia organized and resettled, a lot thrown out.

i saw a bit of leonard cohen last night on pbs. he has a book of poetry out. i really appreciated the way he expresses himself, obviously based on a deep view of life. like dylan's time out of mind, there was a lot about growing older, or maybe more accurately, growing old. it strikes me that the under culture is about to redefine and live old age in a new manner, new attitude, and it is not what the ny times or any other institution thinks. among other things it will be dark, tragic, necessary, and a lot of untraveled new worlds.

speaking of dylan i happened on the first half of scorses's documentary which i saw maybe six months ago. amazing how much it was like seeing it for the first time, a sign of original mind or memory loss or both. i wrote this quote down while watching it:

speaking of his early years ripping thru genres, he said "i needed to sing in that language... which i hadn't heard before".

he became a poet so he could sing.

as most of you know this site is in eternal beta. always something new that i don't quite know how to do. for instance the animation section is dysfunctional running under NS7: a small innocuous change has resulted in the midis no longer playing well with my browser (ns7); seems to play fine running under IE.

i've put up my first flash doo-dad. check it out and tell me what's broken because i plan to put a bunch up.

yesterday was a slow one, didn't feel quite up to snuff. or stuff. but i did get most all of my mini-art studio dumped in the living room where i can piddle around sorting thru it and throwing away useless clutter. then i reput it back in an elegant, efficient and well organized and labeled manner. that's the plan anyway.

cyberdoodle done this morning.

i totally have nothing to write about. words have receded away in the distance. i let my fingers do the talking.

"content is king", the old cliche about the web, like all cliches has some truth to it.

just to clarify, i started this thing long ago and one thing has led to another etc. but currently my interest is in the image and that's the content. one a day keeps the doctor away.

picture of front porch object. tried RAW format but so far can't do much with it, probably because pshop 7 under os9 doesn't have native RAW import.

so far it is a delicious day; got up at 5 when coast2coast went off the air. art bell was talking with Gerald Celente, whose vocation was something like "trend expert". a really straight forward lucid conversation about the new world we live in. i was surprised when i went to site to find out his name and discovered it was a rebroadcast from 2004. the guy must know his trends.

worked a little then the electricity failed (what else can one expect on a very rainy day).

it's 9 am now and i'm heading for the grocery store.

when i get back i'll finish book and upload it. will be available through lulu.com. i finessed ISBN number when i learned that vendors other than lulu can only sell black and white version.

miss kitty ventured out yesterday evening for the first time in 2 weeks. she's much better.

i'm trapped for another week with Kat. antibiotics twice a day (eyedropper) not so difficult, but setting up drip (like you see on tv, war, hospitals) is another matter entirely. kat no like. fish no like dish (paul reps).

today i should finish emptying out kitchen shelves and cabinets. lots to throw away. why am i doing this? don't know but it feels right. computer/music room is next, "studio" (bedroom) is after that.

early this morning i heard a piece on philip k. dick (BBC), during which new movie was mentioned, through a scanner darkly certainly one of his noirest books.

really dipping deep into image bag, this is the earliest watercolor i put up ages ago.

talked to mr sloan this am, he's close to logging on to harry's blog.

i need to get out of town.

i'm down to snapshots as far as putting up pix. this one is from walk up sunset mountain.

i was talking to my sister on the phone the other day when the subject of "enantiodromia" came up. so i googled it and came across this very interesting site. i have been asked in the past what my fascination with the morton's salt container is all about. context within context is the answer, and the question is if it is turtles "all the way up, all the way down", is there a beginning point and ending point? in my opinion there is not, so we get infinity in both directions. but this paper uses enantiodromia as a method of describing how "all the way up" becomes "all the way down". is the circumference of a circle infinite?

The Structure of Consciousness - Liminocentricity, Enantiodromia, and Personality
"Attention plays the function of 'bifurcating' consciousness, dividing it into levels of awareness. It brings a 'figure' (of which we are explicitly aware) into relief against a 'background'. The background remains in what Evans called 'unprojected' consciousness. Although elements in the background of consciousness remain outside of the focal area circumscribed by attention, they are nonetheless 'in' consciousness. We can be said to be 'aware' of what is in the background, but in a different way than we are aware of what is in attention.

We are 'subsidiarily aware' of what is in the background of awareness, according to Evans and Fudjack (1976) 4, who chose to use Michael Polanyi's term to describe the kind of awareness that is relegated to the background. Out of this subsidiary awareness of elements in the background of consciousness we construct what we normally call 'context'. As we go about our daily business we are aware of the contexts in which we operate, albeit subsidiarily aware.

Objects of our attention are best conceived, then, as embedded in contexts, somewhat like a content in a container. The context, when it is operating AS context, remains in the background and is experienced in a non-focal way, with a more diffuse type of awareness. Context is typically experienced, Evans and Fudjack postulated, in the mode of 'feeling' 5 - we directly experience context as an 'underlying feeling state'; it lends a 'feeling tone' to whatever the object of attention is at the moment.

From behind the scenes, our feeling states influence what items will be 'selected' and relevated into projected consciousness as objects of attention. It is in this way that our feeling states can be said to perform the 'evaluative' function that Jung singled out as the defining quality of what he called the 'feeling function'.

Conversely, we respond to the objects to which we attend by subtle changes that occur in our feeling states (moods) or not-so-subtle changes (emotions).

So there is a feed-back and feed-forward relationship between what is in projected consciousness at any given moment and what is in unprojected consciousness. There are shifts in our feeling state as attention deflects from one object to another, in a complex series of moves which, taken together, make up the personal 'storylines' of our lives.

Although we can bring elements of the background into attention, we can never make the background itself an object of attention. 6 But this does not prevent us from widening the scope of attention in order to make explicit what is currently in 'subsidiary awareness' as an element of unprojected consciousness - although by doing so, that element is taken out of subsidiary awareness and is brought into projected consciousness as a focal object of attention.

By manipulating attention in this way, we can bring what was previously operating AS CONTEXT into the foreground of attention, as object. Or, conversely, we can narrow the scope of attention, focusing on some 'detail' of a particular object of attention - making this detail the new object of attention, while allowing other aspects of the previous object of attention to recede into the background.

"

photo jeff sent me taken in chaco canyon last year. i was really entranced there. i want to move there.

i'm giving miss kitty antibiotics twice a day plus every other day have to hook her up to one of those drips you see in the hospital for 15 minutes.

i defrosted fridge last nite & am spending day emptying kitchen shelves, sorting, throwing away and spraying for bugs. it's like living out in the country here, just critters. every summer crickets invade, don't seem to do any harm but i don't think i want to keep them as pets.

soon i'll take a week off, i'm totally out of energy or interest. i started an oil this morning and would really enjoy taking my time with it and making it look right.

my world is shrinking, the minutes getting smaller, the seasons a blur. blogging is for the quick and i'm not so much that anymore. wanna take my time.

in 25 minutes will see dentist for dental adjustment. i'm nowhere near being able to wear them and eat and talk at the same time.

but i am in possession of brainshrub's high-school clarinet.all hard drives are jam packed, so i need to (carefully) archive a lot of files. couple of day's work?

=========== i've picked up about 4 gigs on hard drives (2) and have a third to do tomorrow. things are picking up. i'm no longer concerned with sneezing my dentures out. they "bite" much better.

gotta go to bed. yuck. listen to michael savage, avery strange one. of all the right-wing noise he's the one i'd most like to share a bottle of wine with. i don't know if it's his viciousness, his altered perspective, or his rambling style.

all i could conjure up this morning. one damn image after another. no end in sight. is this just another bad habit? a way to deny the moment? a way to experience the moment? an immense interior reflex that takes every psychic space it can? i don't know anymore.

maybe i should go shopping instead.

zowee, this one came out of nowhere. might be muse, face in the crowd, or both.

going to the vet's this morning so they can teach me how to give misskitty subcutaneous hydration with potassium. her sodium-potassium balance is way off and that, in my experience, is a bad sign. her liver functions are way off too.

so the plan is to continue with antibiotics for 2 weeks, do iv once or twice a day, and then when she's better she can do me.

from digital snap taken yesterday at edgy mama's shortly before the beginning of blogapiloofus festivities.

got back in time to give miss kitty 11:00 antibiotic meds. she's definitely feeling better.

uummm... don't know about this one. i did it from nice looking snapshot taken in chaco canyon jeff sent me. (later i replaced it)

very strange day so far. fell out early last night and before i got up had one of those working at intel dreams. then got up and had to take miss kitty to vet. she weighs 5 lbs., 4 years ago weighed ten. she's on antibiotics and some other meds and i postponed trip east once again.

now for reasons a lot of you will not understand i have to shut this thing down and find a prize.

later... the taoist dictum comes to mind..."if it ain't one thing it's a whole bunch of'em".

a window of possibility, not super busy. the domicile is organized, but not yet labeled. in conversation last week it was suggested that labeling resonates somewhere in the brain and makes it easier to find what you've labeled. i'll start with "silverware".

today (after i label the house), i'll pack for trip to chatham county that i've been pointed towards since march. leaving sunday morning.

this morning's puzzleator. thanks bob.

started off as a watercolor 2 days ago, yesterday morphed into "mixed media".

see the video that has been floating around made by defense contractors in iraq. shot out the rear window while machine gunning cars on the highway. it's OK, but they really needed a telephoto lens so you could see the blood and gore. the sound track is "mystery train" by elvis, one of my all time favorites. called the "trophy video" because it was posted on corporations site under "awards" section i think.


The Randi Rhodes Show on Air America Radio: "VIDEO: The "trophy video" made by the mercenaries"

more on contractors: Mercenarieses, Corporatete soldiers of fortune. (and let's not forget that they work for the same people that own our govt., you and me. neo-fascist corporate oligarchy cowboys having fun.)

The Randi Rhodes Show on Air America Radio: "On Feb. 7, security contractors for the U.S. Embassy branch office in the northern city of Kirkuk shot and killed two men in a taxi. The embassy said at the time that it was initiating an investigation into the incident. In response to queries about the investigation in March, the embassy said the results would not be released.

'It is correct that the State Dept. conducted an investigation--as it does with all such events involving State contractors,' embassy spokesman Dennis Culkin said at the time, in a written statement. 'However, as is also standard, the results of such federal investigations are not made public. So we're not able to share any investigation results.'"

sunday featured my favorite weather, overcast, moody, thunder rumbling and finally the rains came. i pretty much spent most of the day continuing on organizing domicile. even found pair of scissors. began doing something with CDs, a good bit of which are data CD-ROMs. now they are all neatly stacked in the middle of the living room floor.

talked to my daughter nicole. she sounded in good spirits. went to bed early and got up at 5. this is my preferred daily rhythm, so maybe i am rotating back to it. hope so.

but enough about me.

bush's war

Online Etymology Dictionary: "late O.E. (c.1050), wyrre, werre, from O.N.Fr. werre 'war' (Fr. guerre), from Frank. *werra, from P.Gmc. *werso (cf. O.S. werran, O.H.G. werran, Ger. verwirren 'to confuse, perplex'). Cognates suggest the original sense was 'to bring into confusion.' There was no common Gmc. word for 'war' at the dawn of historical times."

since the establishment of "nation-states" war acquired it's modern characteristics: declaration of war, both sides in uniform, winner decided by captured territory, ending in surrender by national government, treaties signed by diplomats.

in our lifetimes "war" has slowly developed into metaphor indicating struggle against social problems; war against poverty, hunger, drugs, obesity.

when the bushies in response to attack against our country declared war against "terror" rather than a nation, a monumental confusion began. such as

no identifiable enemy = keep tabs on the intentions of everyone.

war ends when bush says it is over.

no POWs, just disappeared folks, some of whom might be the enemy, some of whom might be you or me in the wrong place at the wrong time.

winner determined by body count.

geographical center of enemy might be anywhere. therefore locus of war is the world.

these points might seem nit-picking, but everyday there are bits and pieces on the "news" illustrating the results of this ambiguity. this past weekend the prime demonstration was the 3 suicides of "enemy combatants", and the subsequent definition of this event by the military as "an act of asymmetrical warfare".

when mcvie and friends blew up the govt building in oklahoma the president did not declare war against a noun. it fell into the domain of criminal justice, whose job and expertise is the pursuit and capture of suspects in order that they be tried for the crime.

the recasting of "war" as anything goes against an unknown gang should never have been allowed to happen and would not have happened if we had a functioning government.

this was a picture captured in RAW format but i couldn't do much with it. another thing to learn by osmosis.

i'm going to watch the sunday talking heads now.

i've been on the computer all day - it is now 3PM. making a father's day card and it's turning into one of those too familiar marathons. makes me grumpy. of course my origional is a low res copy of old photo which doesn't help. if i was younger i'd say it was wasted youth. but i already been there, done that.

heading for library, grocery store. got a water color drying in next room.

people seem to be out & about this weekend, and it is a good one to take a break. think i'll try river district art walk sunday. i don't think they've initiated an art crawl yet, but i'm ready.

on the off chance that the cyber-gods will let me post after 7 days of not letting me post i'm going to try again. check this out (thanks tucker):
The Blog | Jesse Kornbluth: You Can Handle the Truth. So See the Movie. | The Huffington Post

what a pleasant surprise: blogger posting worked, i can post again, and don't have to learn wordpress at least right away. if you see an image above, it's because as a creature of habit(s) i just ginned it up to post.

still reading? anyone? cause if you are thn all is humming along nicely in the millenial closet.

the image is my front door, it kind of looked like the picture when i got home last night.

let's see if i can recall any happenings during the last week... nope, can't do it. i did get into working with RAW image format, but until i upgrade it's not easy. might go to movie tonight, showing of felleni's 8 1/2 somewhere in town. not my favorite felleni flick (that would be Nights of Cabiria(?) but then i haven't seen it since last century.

ok the blogger clock whirlled for over an hour i'm sure, i forgot about it and was outside... now it's working again.

(glad that's over if it is).

bliipo blotter, blogger blammo.

haven't been able to post for a week.

damn-o.

today has been a strange one. yesterday i finally realized my insulin pump was functioning ok but the meter was not. phone calls and i was informed i probably needed a new battery, a tiny one, which i had forgotten about or else i never knew it. looked for old meter, couldn't find it. this morning behind no sleep i was unable to see this site on the web. the computer couldn't read my camera.

i have learned not to get too deep into fixing things when i haven't slept. but i did find meter.

faded during the afternoon, got a nap in and fixed or solved all of the above.

good morning. look what popped out of the oceanic unconscious today.

finally got to Drinking Liberally Asheville last night. nice crowd and syntax, screwy and myself spent a little downtime at hookah joes which was a new one on me.

finally totally screwed up recent watercolor. so it's scrubdown time for it, toss it in the pile i may finish some day.

i'm working towards a new watercolor palette from the book color theory made easy by ames. along with a couple of other painters he advocates using cyan, magenta and yellow as primaries. shades of cmyk. i think it will do me fine for awhile until i fall into another obsession.

while in town i talked to quite a few people, not about liberal political dilemmas but some of the online dating services around, many success stories. so i got home around 12, couldn't sleep until 4:30, and explored some of these. last month at felicities i met a few ladies all complaining that there are no single men around aville. news to me.

but after a long long stretch of living alone, i mean really alone, days with no human contact, (which served me well, prolific output during this time), it has come to me that i need to resocialize, get out and mix with the crowd. Why? in breath and out breath i guess. and should a man go the online route there are certainly a lot of women out there. one guy mentioned that he made a list of 100 desirable characteristics in a companion, then shortened it to 5 non-negotionable deserata.

hard for me to do. i operate on the creative surprise. i don't care what color your eyes are as long as they are open. and as for describing myself, ummm... don't like eating out or motorcycle riding. the rest is indescribable to me, don't have the words for it.

think i'm going to take the day off - ie turn computer off - do a few watercolor tests, and head up to the parkway. want to try a 360 degree panorama

today's karmaglyph seems to indicate a choice.

i posted a long finish to kerouac in chapel hill but the post vanished.

the talking point of the day (and don't you dare deviate from it) is "besmirch" as in "(whoever) is besmirching the military by dwelling on rape, murder, and pillage".

there is some justice to this, overstated as it is. caught in 16 double-binds, the military in iraq has my sympathy. but someone has to be a scapegoat for the war deaths. so it's the marines in hadith 6 months ago. not that they should be invulnerable, i just hope the chain of command is looked into.