Friday, May 30, 2008

yesterday i felt very weird. all day. what can i say? the inner world affected by the outer maybe?

how many worlds are there anyway?

sri auribindo wrote that the mental world we inhabit is external, imposed.

but if i am totally conditioned to "think" that it is the entire kosmos - and if all of us are - then life as we know it is a dream. a notion that pops up from time to time in human history. Plotinus, the vedas, the "Cloud of Unknowing", Ramana Maharshi, Meister Eckhart, Rumi, Hafez, not to mention oprah and Eckhart Tolle.

so what about this "dream"? to big to think about, much less to describe.

but currently it has the smell of a world ruled by the ignorant (from the verb "to ignore". specifically frat boys born with some sort of spoons in mouth, shriveled souls bent on endless owning, beyond the pale of justice.

elections to make things right? maybe, maybe not. but as long as we are stuck here might as well push the boulder uphill one more time.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

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another foto sprinkled with magic dust.

i promised myself that i would post these snappy lines from a song i heard on the AM radio while nosing my truck around the mountains. i don't think i did yet, so here it is. don't know the song's name or the band:

"i am what i am
cause i ain't what i used to be."

lot of existential, metaphysical, and yes "spiritual" implications to muse over.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

azzgeeeen.jpg

watercolor from last febuary.

returned from the first memorial-say road trip i can remember taking. there may have been a few others long ago when the road was an adventure instead of a war zone. met a few survivors of my cohort, musicians of all skill leverls including mighty fine, had a great time.

now comes the hundred days of summer. i'll install 2 window air conditioners today. since i don't go out much in the heat i'll invent a couple of long term projects to putter with thru the dog days. video and a series of paintings most likely.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

chrisaz.jpg

in a hurry. the above is to let you know that despite lack of posts
it's all good.

later====> later====> later====> back monday.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

realized yesterday that this coming weekend was labor day. i had it fixed in my head that it was the last day of may. i'll be camping out somewhere near dobson in surry county. a yearly gathering, may have crossed paths w/ some of the folks there, maybe not. tonight i will attend orientation to video editing at urtv. today finish cleaning and emptying living module. grocery shopping. library. change oil in truck. find something that i can't remember at the moment. i'm posting this from new browser "flock" that seems peachy keen so far.

i'm working in spurts on 12 minute video using material that i have for one reason or another created and has been hanging around since. presumably will for "wallpaper project" which i don't know much about except they have been doing half hour video for awhile - 3 yrs? - always a good sign.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Monday, May 19, 2008

reading spook city by William Gibson. i've read and enjoyed most of his work over the years. even when i feel like i'm reading the same book over and over, "cyber-punk", the intersection of the street and the mind tyranny of the overworld. anyway ran accross this in the wee hours of the morning:

"She remembered Inchmale describing Stockholm syndrome, the fondness and loyalty one could supposedly come to feel for even the most brutal captor. . . Inchmale thought that America had developed Stockholm syndrome toward its own government, post 9/11."

this is a throwaway line in the book, but one worth pondering.

the best prison is the one you don't know you are in.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

DSC01756e.jpg
another beautiful morning. another image. another photoshop meditation.

wedding last evening was a good one. location the best of western NC. in the rush to get there - of course i was rushed, one of my bad habits or maybe karmic left-over - i forgot camera but i'm not going to spend any time reminiscing about the shots i didn't take. i'm halfway convinced that the sun set over the great smokey park range but halfway dubious. whatever it was they had a shape that resembled and reminded me of the smokeys visible from places on big ridge, another in a long string of worlds i once lived in.

ceremony and folks present were a delight. suzanne and issac got married real good.

today is my day to re-lax. that means clean the fort from top to bottom. and maybe slip over to t.'s or the parkway.

Friday, May 16, 2008

framing a picture while pbs news hour was burbling in the background i heard a little of this and that. here is what i make of it:

the republicans: i used to think the party had been kidnapped, blackmailed, bought, whatever by the bush cabel. so you had the bush mafia and the rest, reagon republicans. nether friends of mine. but now i think it is a spectrum of criminality, from the big man - who is not bush - to the soldiers, ie republican congress and corporations.

today's dustup: talking to the enemy or potential enemy is appeasement.

part of the oligarch's tired strategy during this era of brand wars. don't talk to nation states or groups who threaten us. dialogue, conversation, communication is taboo. in fact even knowing anything about the enemy is in bad taste and slightly suspicious. the language, culture, and complexity of anypeople is a domain the ober-kriminals don't even know they don't know. hubristic bandit warlords who are totally embalmed as far as their consciousness of here and now are concerned and we are concerned.

if obama simply responds to this pseudo-referential move in a straight forward manner, forgets about looking tough behind a lapel pin, and contextualizes ithe whole sorry sound-byte baloon as a stale move in a shabby game and a move premised on the belief that most americans are stupid
he wins. we win.

so obama needs to respond on the basis of all of us knowing what's up.

i don't know a whole lot about youtube. it is such a huge sprawling site and i have not spent much time there. except for some of the keyboard tutorials where i have picked up a clue or two.

so since i have slid into video dvd creation this year (reason: since i keep pumping out electronic gizmo muzak and short animated do-hickeys out of habit i thought why not put them on dvd: halfway successfully) i put one of them up a week or so ago just to see if i could do it.

so today i found a "channel" with the following description of the video:

"like nothing i've ever heard. or played.
visual artist and friends who play unknow instruments for mental prophylaxis and help create the new which will be now but not for long."

now what is weird about this is i didn't write it. and i don't know where it came from but is exactly like something i would write. especially that last part. so what's up? as always, i don't have a clue but apparently i don't need one.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

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still whittling away at removing files from 5 disk drives. space is slowly manifesting.

the weather lately has been that moody, overcast, shadowless, silent weather i enjoy so much. stillness. the mind ceases burbling almost and yet in the slow steady "now" i find more is accomplished than in the heroic adrenaline driven hyperactivity that passes for normal these days. i like it.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

video i uploaded to youtube last week can be viewed here.

why? because it's there.

last night i listened again to "zeke and the wheel" by r.b. morris and was again very impressed by this production. musicians, poet singer, and quality of audio is quite amazing. as a songwriter/performer i have to put this guy up there with dylan. a lot of resonances and references to my experience of life. but subtle. bears repeated listening. don't confuse with the band with the same name as the album.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


man what nerve to put a picture like this up. dyspeptic. tomorrow it will be better. but really the picture is not an anagrammatic view of chris's day. or not.

finger painting can be a mess.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

cleaning up, a new broom. it takes a lifetime to do. i found the following in a small 2 inch square notepad i vaguely remember always being underfoot. it must have gotten soaked at some point, ink blurred.

i don't know if it's more fun finding or creating. or the difference between them.

if it is a song it might have a name. maybe-->

Someone is Dreaming Right Now

Out along the highway
There’s work that’s being done.
Heavy dancing gases
Playing with the sun.

Another ageless darkness
In the parking lot.
Shadows shouting chrome:
Another evening shot.

Down along the river bend
It’s always Friday night.
When the south wind blows real good
You know there’ll be a fight.

Underneath the boardwalk
Lost lovers contemplate
The missing moon and stars
They thought that they could make.

“Which world?” asked the ticket master
Behind his missing throne
“Any world but this one”
Replied the message on the phone.

The glitter in the window said
“It’s all one way you know.
I guess that you forgot
The one who told you so”

Discourse in hybrid harmony
No longer takes the chance
The open door stands asleep
Dreaming words that dance

The far plateau lies
well placed in all this mess
Must have been the misplaced map
Or just a lucky guess

The clouds they are outrageous
No laughs at all tonight
Relatively pointless
The moon shines it’s delight

As we tiptoed through the forest
Peculiar plants were glowing
Like someone’s smile we know
And couldn’t help enjoying

Every night I end a day
Trapped in amber glow
If I wasn’t in a hurry
I’d be just as slow

Avoid the void they said
Standing tall and straight
When the elevator stopped
They didn’t hesitate

The beast meanwhile was loose
Events were overflowing
Annoying nonreflection
Kept anyone from knowing

“So long” yelled the hobo
Sliding down a trance.
"Without a detached head
You never had a chance".

Saturday, May 10, 2008

saw junior brown at the orange peel last nite. he has a pretty formulaic set he delivers but he is so good at it that it doesn't matter. very relaxing to watch him in action, he doesn't seem to sweat it but delivers texas honkey tonk and blues riffs with aplomb.

at last finished "warlock" by Oakley Hall . an excellent read, and a hard book to describe. such a transparent and clear narrative, no flourishes, straight ahead prose, and yet it resonates with all sorts of implications about human nature, life, death, politics etc.

speaking of oakly hall i stumbled onto the author after i found out that racheal cox, a sweet little girl my children grew up with is in a band of the same name, working hard and doing good:
Oakley Hall – Listen free at Last.fm

Friday, May 9, 2008

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i took this image when i was loose on the back roads.

but as they used to say content is king so:

politics:
one of obama's strengths is the timbre of his voice.

he must strengthen his innate ability to communicate thru the noise bubble by talking straight, from the context of transcending but including politicalspeak. ie say what he says as if he was talking to me or you, assuming we all are only too familiar with the constricted media cliches.

culture:
i happened to see on the local access channel a local minister speaking on evolution and creationism, i guess they call it "intelligent design". he was good. what struck me was what he was saying, basically that the manifest world had a point to it rather than being a random result, is not unreasonable. in fact the "non-dual" approach is similar in that existence has a point, a path, and the present population of humans are lost in the middle of that path. or better said, the point where the path can turn back towards the invisible unknowable source of the manifest.
Nondualism - "The term can refer to a belief, condition, theory, practice, or quality.":

life:
was a bowl of cherries, now is cherries rolling around in space along with the shards of a broken bowl.

art:
going to see jr. brown tonight.

respite from the worldly:
see above.

Thursday, May 8, 2008


i was thinking today how thinking is not the same as consciousness. like most of us, i am conscious of my thoughts. i think...

feelings to some extent but i accept there are feelings that affect my persona that i am not conscious of. i mean, that's how i feel.

then i got in the truck. 4 stops. only got lost once.

when i got back here did the above image.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

ydood

'nother doodle. yesterday i voted. did you?

still tweaking format of this thing.

last night attended field gear class at URTV, first of two. the digital video cameras are something else, nothing like the ancient analog equipment i used to schlep around before the earth was cool.

finally managed to produce dvd, but had to drop the menu idea, this one plays 5 separate short pieces one after another. today if the stars are right i will upload one to youtube. because it's there.

rest of the day i have the luxury of no pressing tasks. will shop for small camping stove and maybe head out for a day or two after end of week (rain coming).

small observation: the roman empire devolved when the periphery eg Dalmatian coast, england, syria etc became so remote that the roman "citizens" there had nothing in common with their fellow citizens in rome. function of geography, culture, and distance. the current electoral politics in USA is highlighting a similar phenomenon. groups of citizens with no commonality except for the commercial world of brands.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

it's voting day in carolina. i haven't participated in the runup (neologism) but of course will vote. i passed on early voting, mainly to experience the action at the polls. the primary is a possible turning point for the democrats and yes i'll be voting for mr. obama. why?

because he carries less of the stigmata of the ruling class, the movers and shakers who don't have a clue about how you and i live, think, feel. the 2% of citizens who own our world. the democrats have proved themselves to be an integral part of this bunch, not able to stand up and talk like a man or women, exactly like their counterparts the republicans.

it is worth noting that if the obama buzz continues and he is elected president, the bad guys who have screwed our world up will not go away. one point of view is that the republican party, as lame as their specious machinations have been since reagon, was hijacked by plain old white collar criminals. they could walk away with their loot because they are criminals first and republicans second.

so my vote is my attempt to restore something that has been lost, and that goal is always shaky. i am voting for edwards to become attorney general and bring to justice the neo-mafia who have infiltrated the country's institutions and helped turn them into bad jokes. if the law is not used after the new president is in office, then all bets are off and the rat-hole will continue to devour our lives.

Monday, May 5, 2008

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foto: last week's walk down the parkway.

today's email, got this link:

A Tribute To Albert Hofmann

good to see this taboo subject discussed in an open, matter of fact manner. be sure to read the comments.

Sunday, May 4, 2008


i'm such a tecno-primitive. i do all this stuff without knowing much. i just started playing with depth of field or foocus on camera. what fun. above from a few days ago.

sunday. beautiful weather. yesterday was cool, moist and overcast. as was pointed out to me many years ago quite aggressively, the celt in me loves this kind of day. i get resonances and flashes of other places and times. some of them are: playing the shakuhachi by the river in bluff utah, listening to the loons. sitting in a rocking chair in the dark on the front porch at big ridge. talking to the night.

Friday, May 2, 2008

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about 3 yesterday i finally said the hell with it and rove up to the parkway. the parkway heading north is barricaded at - i think - mile 254.3 0r 4 cars parked there, i did the same, crossed the barricade on foot and had a most pleasant walk for about a mile or so, strolling down the centerline of the road with occaisional climbs up the west side. lots of pictures of which the above is one.

driving to the barricade and walking beyond it i encountered a lot of bicycles, very few cars. nice to stroll a stretch like that and no traffic.

on another note i did the mall day before yesterday to pick up a badly needed new pair of glasses. in stopped in the bookstore to buy a clip on light for reading (part of my camping out supplies) and noticed a small display of books labled "summer school reading". i was surprised and delighted to find a brief history of everything by ken wilber among the books. amazing.

Ken Wilber - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"One of Wilber's main interests is in mapping what he calls the 'neo-perennial philosophy', an integration of some of the views of mysticism typified by Aldous Huxley's The Perennial Philosophy with an account of cosmic evolution akin to that of the Indian philosopher Sri Aurobindo. He rejects most of the tenets of 'Perennialism' and the associated anti-evolutionary view of history as a regression from past ages or yugas.[9]. Instead, he embraces a more traditionally Western notion of the great chain of being. As in the work of Jean Gebser, this great chain (or 'nest') is ever-present while 'relatively' unfolding throughout this material manifestation, although to Wilber '...the 'Great Nest' is actually just a vast morphogenetic field of potentials'...'."

mrs. obama is speaking tonight at unca. i guess i'll go.

Thursday, May 1, 2008


photo i took last week for day in the life of asheville project before i ran out of steam.